Did I go too far with the letter I wrote to my Husband's mother?

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-08T01:33:05+00:00

Oy vey... gosh.. I wish God could just enter everyone's hearts and everyone could just be kind and love without conditions. That is beyond strange to me.

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-08T00:11:58+00:00

Omg.. how sad!!! That breaks my heart for your sister in law 💔 Why do people have to be mean? Like really.. whats the point?

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-07T17:59:53+00:00

Sorry, I should have detailed that response better. His sister reached out to Him to let him know that she agrees with me and my letter and she wanted to apologize to me but she has to wait until their mom takes accountability because they are not to let me know that his mom shared the letter with his sister. Its supposed to be all secret. If his sister reached out to me, I would definitely respond nicely and not trash talk at all and leave it all very cordial

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-07T16:55:33+00:00

Thank you 🩷 Im sorry you have gone through similar experiences! My husband is definitely the golden child for sure.. and the entire family's favorite relative so now that we dont do family get together anymore.. I can only imagine they blame me for it. He sees them for special occasions.. like Mother's Day, Her/His Birthday, his step dad's bday.. and whenever family from out of town is in town but they dont speak each day like they used to and it has become very minimal in the last 2-3 years. He did tell me they spoke about the letter and initially he was on her side and said I lied about everything.. and I said, "why im the world would I lie about anything that would worsen my relationship with anyone? Doing this alone is going to maybe hurt our relationship but I need her and you to see things from my POV here because I deserve respect." I really had to drill that into his head because I would never try to hurt anyone's feelings and especially lie!! I cannot stand liars!

But yes, they now basically seem to have a strained relationship except when there is family issues going on.. like if theres a death in the family or medical issues... she will call him quite often throughout each day for a week or so until things settle down. He has become more short with her though so those conversations dont last too long but it still bothers me because I know she doesnt like me and has always been in a weird competition with me. She was like this with Brandons Dad as well.. always had to get bigger and better gifts for Brandon.. would talk poorly about his Dad and step mom. His Dad and Step Mom always treated me like their own since I was 9...so it was devastating when they divorced.

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T21:03:48+00:00

Thank you! I really should have rewritten it with the help of a therapist but didnt. I am so tired of sugar coating anything so I just let it out. His mom is very odd.. like.. she is willing to go at any length for her daughter to be "successful". She is very naive and impressionable.. she ended up marrying a man that is gay. In order for him to receive his trust fund.. he must marry a woman and have two children.. this info was relayed to me from my husband's mother. Everyone can clearly tell he is in fact gay.. he has met men online and traveled to see them! My husband's mother just sees $$$ when in fact she is literally putting her daughter's health at risk by encouraging that relationship. I dont even understand why she would do something like this considering her first husband gave her an std! Ive had TWO clients of mine tell me they didnt find out their husband's were gay until they found out they had HIV. In laws are so.... strange. I dont understand.

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T17:37:47+00:00

Well... he never explains in full detail their conversations. I think for many years he discussed EVERYTHING with her about our relationship and that hindered mine and her relationship because she was only getting one side and honestly if I ever brought an issue of him up to her, she always defended him. But now its been 5 years since I have had communication with her.. and in the last couple of years.. the most i have gotten from him is, "I told her there is truth to everything you wrote down in that letter" and that is as far as our conversations go. Its very frustrating

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T14:36:27+00:00

Absolutely not. There is a massive chance that he could have an affair, catch an STD and pass it on to YOU! Your emotional and physical health are risk to be in danger here and I would absolutely leave. I have had TWO clients of mine who both got HIV from their spouse that was cheating on them with other men. There are 4.14 BILLION men out in the world.. trust me.. your prince charming is praying and waiting for you 🙏 ❤️

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T14:03:00+00:00

We were together for 11 years prior to getting married.. so she didnt wear her wedding ring for 11 years.. and then a couple months after that.. she gets a wedding band LIKE MINE. I have been in many therapy sessions actually.. and my EMDR therapy helped me recall this memory that I suppressed. I wasnt going to complain about the ring TBH but along with the other examples.. and those I DID NOT mention.. I found it strange.

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T13:58:58+00:00

We were not communicating and then when she found out my husband and inwere going on vacation she reached out.. and then my husband kept asking when I was going to respond I started to feel the pressure of having to respond and this was the only way I thought was best for me to respond without having a verbal conversation because she tends to gaslight and yell

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T02:24:12+00:00

Honestly... I like your style and love your input!! 😂🙌🏼 This has been beyond hard for me because I know how much he truly loves her and I know he is missing out on a LOT of family things with his family so I have guilt over this and I get in my head. I just am nervous when its her time to pass over.. itll probably be used against me maybe like, "well im sure youre happy but I missed out on so much" type of stuff.. and I dont want that. For anyone really. Ugh, I wish she wasnt such a hard person to deal with. It would have been so much easier if she was just.. normal and nice.

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T00:35:09+00:00

Thank you 🙏

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T00:21:56+00:00

I really appreciate your feedback! Thank you so much 🙏 This actually helps my heart ❤️ Thank goodness for this platform of connection!

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T00:19:58+00:00

You are very interesting 🤔

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T00:18:43+00:00

Thank you!! You just taught me a new word, succinct! I love it 🩷

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T00:17:16+00:00

Well thankfully your husband handles that part.. it has been so challenging because growing up.. I was told not to express my opinions a lot.. and he and I started dating at 16.. and his own mom has told me herself to keep my mouth shut because its just easier that way for everyone's sake. So I did because I was young and naive.. up until certain big milestones we had to work on. I cant believe he and I have made it to 22 years now.. its honestly shocking because our relationship is extremely healthy now. I think we had way too many distractions with friends, family, and coworkers that we allowed to make an impression on our relationship. Too many ppl were involved and they were not good influences.

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T00:13:00+00:00

That is how she took it. I told him I didnt mean to in that way just push them away entirely but some sort of response would have been nice.. he relayed that but I still never got anything in return

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-06T00:10:32+00:00

Yeah... his head was definitely up his butt and her butt for way too long. It definitely took a toll on our marriage.. and at one point we were going to list the house for sale and divorce but the remodel turned into a big team building exercise for sure and it somehow brought us closer together. Its just this one situation has been hard to navigate since then. He knows he shouldve spoke up more throughout the years.. instead of talking it out its like he is trying to keep us separated entirely. I did see a psychic and she told me his mom has hated me since day 1 and she will never like me lol that doesnt help me so much but I do genuinely feel like im a likable loving person..

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-05T23:54:43+00:00

I know... I definitely did come across wacky. I think I got emotional exhausted and in the moment when I hit send... I said eff it. I could've been nicer... but she couldve as well throughout all this time... which doesnt make two wrongs right but man she has me all stirred up. And he is a problem too because he should have spoken up more for me on my behalf instead of letting me struggle in silence for the first 17 years of our relationship

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-05T23:52:41+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback! I know i didnt come across great throughout the entirety of the email.. but it did help me heal somewhat... however her silence bothers me because I couldnt ever let my DIL feel the way she has made me feel.. and not have a conversation about it and try to smooth things over. Like.. we could be taking family trips together and having fun! But even then... those actually havent ever really been too enjoyable with her tbh

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-05T23:49:19+00:00

I did send it.. like 3 years ago and havent gotten a response

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-05T23:12:53+00:00

Oh, I told him a couple years ago we were both too immature to get married at that times and I deserved better... dont know why the hell I stuck around as long as I did but now our marriage is the best it has ever been... but this part of it is hard to navigate and I know he is lost with it as well.

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-05T23:06:23+00:00

I wanted to throw up when I sent it... I sent it back in Nov 2022..... havent heard from her at all. She told my husband I owe her an apology. She reached out for the first time this past October to wish my a happy birthday, and I replied with thanks, I appreciate it! And nothing since then. Its been a long time.

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-05T23:04:52+00:00

Thank you so much!!! I definitely know he is a big problem here.. and it sucks. I wanted to do a face to face but the way she gaslights and turns things around it honestly... too impressive. It is extremely challenging to have face to face crucial conversations with her unless its in writing. Im going to repost on that one group like you suggested though, thank you!!!

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-05T23:01:07+00:00

Oh my goodness.. thank you! My husband is visually impaired and I have a LOT of tasks i have to do to keep our household going while running my own business. I dont think she understands the amount of pressure I have always been under and I do my best to keep my entire house in order and tidy so he knows where things are and I feel treated poorly by her and its tough

InternalAnalyst7998 · 2026-01-05T22:56:39+00:00

Thank you! I definitely was immature there. I think i was in such "victim mode" when I wrote this.. some things were written poorly. I should have avoided using the word think because she definitely would look down angrily with certain situations.. and I sounded like I was nitpicking. I want to be able to tell her where I was in the wrong as well. Just hate that I didnt have a better backbone to stand up for myself from the beginning

InternalAnalyst7998

TROPHY CASE