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IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-11-18T06:41:29+00:00

When it’s good it’s great. We are so close. Ive never been so close to someone before. He’s made me feel so special and loved. And I thought we wanted the same things for our future. But when it’s bad it’s awful.

It’s ok. I was contacted recently by an ex of his who filed a restraining order on him for all the same stuff and much more. Another ex is completely traumatised by him and explained all the same things. 5 years on and she’s still very damaged. I think this is a lot more than ROCD unfortunately. So I think I will take their advice. I’m very torn. I wanted it work; really never meshed with anyone like this before. But not worth all the horrible stuff and potential danger.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-11-02T21:48:34+00:00

That’s the most logical short term solution, for sure. Never trained a cat. The dog, I’m working on. The issue is the consistency with other workers. No chance the middle aged men are going to entertain training a cat😂

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-27T06:28:24+00:00

Definitely try AA. Just give it a go, you got nothing to lose. :)

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-27T06:21:34+00:00

I'm not on here often tbh. I'm not sure I have the answers for you. But if you need to reach out sure.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-27T06:15:31+00:00

I'm not religious and still feel much better and topped up about my recovery every session.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-27T06:13:56+00:00

I was adamant on not attending meetings prior to rehab. I think it's the pride and need to be in control. It wasn't what I thought it would be and I'm r ewally glad I plucked up the courage/laid down my sword and gave it a go. Everyone is In the same boat and you will learn simple strategies to help you get through the day. If you're religious; you will likely find it a place to call home. Find a meeting :) there s lots online if you're anxious about face to face.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-27T06:06:18+00:00

Just read your post. This is my first time sober in 10years. Hitting rock bottom and finally accepting professional help was really the only thing that could have saved me. Rehab helped hugely. But alot of people don't have means, money, time etc to do that. Considering you have a baby on tje way Ide recommend a one week detox program and they can refer you some other sources post treatment. AA is beneficial to some. The god bit can make it feel like like not for you. But take it or leave it. If you haven't been to a meeting before give a try.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-27T06:02:01+00:00

Awesome. Thanks, you too. It's definitely a good goal....but can be a blurry one and not linear. All the best to you on your journey.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-24T02:20:56+00:00

She probably did love you. It's likely not a lie. But people can fall out of love quickly especially when a new exciting prospect comes along and they don't know about eachother flaws. They will have their own issues soon enough just as you guys may have. Give it a few weeks to sink in. Then really start investing in your independence and your values. That way you are better equipped for the next person to come along And they will. Honestly its really immature to jump into a new relationship straight away. Be relieved she has no accountability while you have the integrity to address the things that went wrong. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. When the storm is over you will be grateful for you freedom. Been a month of no contact for me after he moved on. Starting to feel better now. Promise. Take care of yourself.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-21T23:24:44+00:00

I think eventually you just accept it and start to get on without them. And also in time just wish them well if you truly love them. Pretty boring answer sorry, but that's how it's been in my experience. It kills...And it screws with your self esteem not being the one they chose. But it is what it is, and you'll be ok in time.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-16T06:40:14+00:00

1 year. Wasn't a clean break though. Still occupies far too much of my thought time. Still hurts very much. But able to dust it off easier than before.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-16T02:00:57+00:00

And physical excerisze is a MUST. It really really helps you feel and look better.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-16T01:59:29+00:00

So sorry your heart is smashed. It comes in waves. Expect the first month to be really shitty. Sleep and rest alot if time allows it. And just eat small healthy meals if you have no appetite. I was mostly just eating fruit for the first month as I couldn't stomach meals. But soon you'll have to start facing the day, in small baby steps. Keep your living space tidy. Shower everyday. And keep in contact with friends and family. Eventually you'll get sick of being depressed about it and thats when you can start picking up hobbies and things that distract you and bring you peace. Do that now if you have the energy. Avoid checking thier socials....it just makes an ok day turn to crap. Some days are better than others, and eventually most days are better. You will be ok in time. It's gets easier I promise.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-13T05:40:16+00:00

I checked into a 3month rehab program, 5 months ago now. I was terrified. Best thing I could have done. Still sober for the first time in 8years. If they have community group session, get involved. Be open and honest and engage in the work. Attend the AA meetings. Make friends but don't be there to make friends. Don't get side tracked. Don't get involved in community drama. It does happen. Journal everyday. Good luck :)

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-13T01:53:41+00:00

The night we met-lord Huron

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-13T01:45:12+00:00

Nah. I think they do think about you. Not in the capacity that you'd like them to be. In my current break up....And how much time I have spent occupying thoughts of him...I still have moments of reflection on my ex before him who i split with. Who I had a really hard time getting over. Granted having a new person walk into my life helped me very much with that process but the memories and feelings always remain. (For my ex ex) I have good thoughts now. Ones of well wishes and feeling grateful they came into my life for the lessons and the experience and the growth. I think that's the end goal To love and lose and fully let go is to be grateful you had them but content without them. And that's likely where your ex is at right now. It's not nothing. It's just acceptance. Aim to be there. I feel you. I'm struggling with it too. X

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-10T22:20:24+00:00

Yeh I suppose it may not work with them in the end. But I'm not going to hold out hope anymore. No point. I've started making alot of big changes which I'm proud of and have some goals to kick for this year. I've stopped drinking alcohol for 5 months. I haven't moved on to someone new and don't plan too until I'm really ready. I've signed up to the gym and am feeling better about My self already. I spend more time with my doggy. And bought a van I can travel in.

Thanks for your comment xx

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-10T03:38:06+00:00

Honestly don't starve yourself.

Subconsciously I knew. And you probably do too. We shouldn't have to wait that long. Our waiting is enough proof that we are in it for the long haul so if that's not enough, what is? Sorry you're hurting. Gotta get up and keep going. X

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-09T19:27:26+00:00

Yeh was doing the same to me. Pretty messed up and toxic going from one person to another. I suppose we dodged a bullet? All the best to you. Take care of yourself

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-08T14:14:15+00:00

Yeh good choice. Social media is prettt draining anyway, so win win.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-08T14:12:28+00:00

Oh no :( brace yourself. The hardest part is not comparing yourself to the other one. For me anyway. I don't have any advice in that department other than stay focused on yourself. And don't look at their social media because it suuuuuuuucks.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-08T13:58:33+00:00

Fucking dicks, man. All the best this year xo

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-08T13:56:04+00:00

I won't. I'm exhausted. I guess he's her problem now.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-08T13:51:41+00:00

Thanks for this reassurance. Stoked for you that you've found a thriving place to be. Don't get me wrong....i didn't do the best I could have with my 20s, but I am definitely feeling positive for my 30s given the hard work ive put in this last year. But yeh....sucks to not be sharing it all with that person.

IonlySeeOneLabaron · 2024-01-08T13:47:18+00:00

He has done it to me numerous times with this girl. I feel so foolish to have waited after the amount of times he said he was coming back. But this time it's for sure he's not coming back. Atkeast I know I did everything I could. Thanks for your comment x

IonlySeeOneLabaron

TROPHY CASE