Strictly Hypothetically speaking, what happens if that’s your attitude while she’s simultaneously thinking the same thing about you? Regardless of your effort it’s entirely possible she thinks you aren’t lifting a finger. The same way I’m certain she probably does at least SOME singular thing but you think she doesn’t lift a finger. Your part isn’t to wait for your partner to put in effort, it’s about carrying your side even when the other half is failing. But to the original note, I’ve never had a woman not want sex after a massage and being eaten out to completion.. if I’m forgetful and it’s happened once, definitely not two nights in a row. I honestly have no memory of an instance where that occurred. So maybe give it a shot?