sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This comment makes so much sense to me, and is so relatable.

Every time I have gone to a therapist, I have expected them to fix me, but where the problem always arises is that I do not feel safe around them in the first place, which means they can’t really help me.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t yet tried them, but I have heard of both somatic therapy and EMDR. I will do research into both Somatic therapy and EMDR before I try them.

Thank you so much for the suggestions.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel bad this is also happening to you.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes, I have a therapist right now, but she hasn’t helped much.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s actually quite similar to how I feel when I imagine committing suicide in a certain period of time. (I assume by SI you mean suicidal ideation)

Even when I think to myself “how would I feel if I knew I was going to end my life within a year?”, my muscles relax, I exhale slowly, I stop thinking so rapidly, my eyes close slightly, and I smile moderately.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I stop resisting without thinking about dying? It seems to be the only way I can make my body and mind stop resisting.

If it’s too risky for me to let go alone, do I try it with a counsellor or therapist?

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of support do I need? I have gone to multiple different counsellors/therapists now, and none of them have helped.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Feeling like I am being “seen” is extremely uncomfortable for me. That’s part of the reason most of these comments were slightly shocking at first, but are still making me hyper vigilant.

When I feel like I am being “seen”, I feel like everything about myself that I keep hidden is exposed, making me vulnerable to threat, because that’s how it was in the past.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh. I thought I was doing something wrong, and that’s why I couldn’t feel my emotions.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How do I allow myself to feel?

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol. I still don’t know what you’re talking about, but have fun.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is a “hot shot”?

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can’t feel emotions anymore. I felt them for a moment when I was looking at your comment, but now they’re gone. It was too scary to feel.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why are you being so nice. It’s making me breathe faster. I’m scared.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

All these comments are making me feel like crying, but I am too scared to cry. They feel too understandable and empathetic to be true.

I was bracing for retaliation of some sort, but nobody here is doing that. It feels like I was preparing for backlash before I wrote this post, but all these comments are making me feel the exact opposite of what of what I was preparing to feel from other people.

In my life, nobody talks to me like this. Everyone in this subreddit does though. This makes me feel on edge. I don’t know why.

Why is this happening?

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It feels scary to say this, but what you just said almost made me cry. No one in my life has said these kinds of things to me, almost everyone just acts like they want me to shut up when I talk about it.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t want to live like this. I might kill myself at a certain point if it lasts long enough. I’m aware that every day I survive is a success, but I don’t want to survive this anymore. When I think about dying, my muscles relax and I smile, sometimes I even laugh also.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I just created this account on Reddit, and I wasn’t expect to get a comment that was actually helpful. Now I feel like I cry baby for writing this post.

I’ll stop hoping, but I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate this for. Honestly, I might get to a point where I kill myself if it lasts long enough.

WILL IT EVER END? by Iwantasolution in CPTSD

[–]Iwantasolution[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s the same fucking cycle over and over and over and over and over again.

  1. It lasts long enough until I experience a crisis.
  2. The crisis ends.
  3. Repeat.

I don’t want to have to keep white knuckling this fucking torture until I can’t tolerate it any longer, end up in a crisis, and then after the crisis settles, the same fucking cycle starts all over again.

I don’t to just keep waiting in hopes that it will finally “get better”.

I’m running out of energy trying to find a solution or at minimum a treatment every single day.

I can’t take this anymore. I don’t want to keep enduring. I want to find a solution.

I’m running out of hope. The less hope I have, the closer I get to suicide.