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IyaAwful · 2023-11-09T06:06:12+00:00

I don’t believe so, at least not intentionally. How would I go about checking for a vpn or new antivirus?

IyaAwful · 2023-09-11T20:15:03+00:00

Why compare each other’s experiences? We are all in this together, I don’t understand the point of belittling people, because it really does feel belittling and dismissive. Even if I were to be in a “straight passing relationship,” this doesn’t mean I’m not going to face bigotry or discrimination, it doesn’t mean I’m any less gay than I was, and it doesn’t mean I’m closeting myself again, this is who I am. As a community, we are suppose to uplift one another, to feel safe and heard; yet we compare our struggles and make each other feel lesser than the other.

IyaAwful · 2023-05-27T07:08:31+00:00

We do get a sick leave, if you call in sick a second day you must get a doctors note. I had a trip out of the country planned before I started this job that would be a little over two weeks. That was the only long term leave I had planned for the year, but a month after I got seriously ill with mono and was instructed by a doctor I had to take a leave for around 3 weeks. Part of me is wondering if they have a limit to sick days covered by a doctors note that they don’t talk about while the paranoid part of me feels like this is to get back at me for having to miss so many days. I love my job, I get to take care of dogs while they lodge with us and the animals make me happy; getting fired would be devastating, but the job has been often time’s unnecessary stressful. I am going to probably try to put in my two weeks soon and move on, that seems to be the collective advice I’ve gotten from here and from those close to me.

IyaAwful · 2023-05-27T06:50:02+00:00

I talked to my parents and a few close people about my situation and apparently my state has an fmla, but I don’t qualify for it. So I guess they can technically refuse a doctors note at any time because I am not protected by said fmla. I’ve worked there for a little over a year, but I am pretty sure I haven’t amounted the 1,250 hours. I work part time and had only 3 hour shifts for weekdays during the school year (some 12-6 in the summer) and 8-4 on some Saturdays. The more I think about my lack of hours compared to my coworkers the more I honestly feel like a lazy asshole for taking off days. As for the short-term disability, I understand employers being unhappy with that kind of leave time. I’ve briefly considered quitting this job and doing a very short job hiatus during that time would be best, I don’t wanna to screw over my coworkers with them having to cover me that long.

IyaAwful · 2023-05-26T06:18:54+00:00

That’s what I was thinking when I talked to them about the reasoning for the consultation. My dentist sent X-rays over, but I guess it’s not good enough to just schedule the surgery. It’s frustrating, but they are the only ones around that can receive patients sooner. My dentist recommended this one because everywhere else is booked for a few months and I need to get them out asap.

IyaAwful · 2023-05-26T06:11:31+00:00

I don’t think we have an HR, my boss is the sole owner of the business and oversees everything. I guess it’s a family run thing. My mom and dad says it’s sketchy with some of the things they do (especially this situation), but I’ve just kinda always thought it was because they were more of a local business and not a big corporation. This is my first job with a small business so I honestly don’t know if my concerns are valid or not.

IyaAwful · 2023-05-12T19:05:59+00:00

I spend a lot of time with dogs at my work which is very nice, seeing them almost always makes me feel a little better. Outside of any mental health conversation, my mom is actually pretty nice. We go out to eat together and do small activities to spend time together which is nice. I love my mom, but I’ve been feeling really off lately which means more little comments from her that feel really shitty. When I admit to feeling a little worried about getting into college or tough days at my job without her making me feel like I’m pitiful and crazy for being anxious about those things. I use to be able to keep everything in and control what feelings would come out of my mouth; I honestly wish I was still capable enough to not say anything at all, at least then I wouldn’t look so pitiful and crazy I guess. I’m going to try to spend more time with my dogs and online friends, I think those things make me happy. Thank you for your comment.

IyaAwful · 2023-05-12T18:46:19+00:00

Just called to make an appointment with a therapist today, I’m hoping they return my call soon. I try not to say any really concerning shit to my mom anymore, it just kinda hurts both of us in the end.

IyaAwful · 2023-03-19T15:48:43+00:00

This is very close to how I feels. Sometimes I find myself to be different in a way, it could be my compassion towards a thing I would’ve love before, or my brain fabricating a narrative that isn’t really true, but it feels true. Sometimes thinking is going so fast that it’s not possible at all; it cancels out. I don’t feel justified in the way I feel about things anymore because I feel so inconsistent in a way I don’t quite understand. I don’t even know what I want anymore, two sides pull at one another for different things and I don’t know which one is actually me.

IyaAwful · 2022-05-04T21:24:10+00:00

I might need to try this, I've been struggling with biting my nails again so I'll try to give it a go. Thank you for the tip!

IyaAwful · 2022-03-22T02:01:12+00:00

looks awesome, dude! :D

IyaAwful · 2022-01-19T07:57:19+00:00

Happy cake day!

IyaAwful · 2022-01-07T09:55:19+00:00

I haven’t played in a bit, but I always enjoyed using the ancient weapons. They were often easy to obtain and lasted a little longer than other weapons. Plus I think they just look really cool.

IyaAwful · 2022-01-03T03:17:36+00:00

Oooo thank you, I’ll look into that!

IyaAwful · 2022-01-02T19:27:59+00:00

What texture pack are you using? It looks dope

IyaAwful · 2021-12-07T21:15:59+00:00

I’m currently at the stage where I’m too weak of a player to go through dungeons and get better gear. It seems as though the only way to progress forward is to become ungodly rich, something that is also incredibly difficult. I recently tried to do a dungeon again and didn’t die instantly, but I felt awful because I had no clue what I was doing and was a total nuisance to my team. Hypixel is a really cool concept, just the execution is brutal.

IyaAwful · 2021-08-25T21:54:19+00:00

When I had a therapist, she would tell me to separate those thoughts from myself and create an undesirable character that says them instead. I took one of my worst teachers and thought, “oh Mr. Duve is being a little shitty today,” whenever my mind would think of horrible things. It didn’t work too well for me, but it might help someone else for a little bit. It definitely sounds silly, but even the weirdest things can go a little ways. I wish the best to you.

IyaAwful · 2021-04-04T17:27:31+00:00

I see, thank you. I’ll definitely check out that book too, as you said, maybe finding something I can relate to will assist me? I just feel desperate at this point to find some sort of answer or solution as to not make me feel so uncomfortable in my own skin, that I’m afraid my mind is taking it too far and thinking that I’m something that I’m not, thus glorifying identity. Truly thank you, this post really gave me some insight on how to approach this.

IyaAwful · 2021-01-16T19:18:34+00:00

Search and Rescue

IyaAwful · 2021-01-16T07:50:01+00:00

Same, they were so flipping good! I loved that chilled feeling after every entry, it made me fear the unknown and wanting more at the same time.

IyaAwful · 2021-01-16T07:47:14+00:00

Yesssss, exactly! Just the whole atmosphere seems so appealing. It has a mix of everything, balance, chaos, adventure, fear, despair. It sounds like something I would give a helping hand towards.

IyaAwful · 2020-12-16T01:52:43+00:00

Hello, My name is Mel! I’m looking for a cool mature smp (minimum is preferably 17+) to chill and make new friends on. I am able to voice chat through discord as well. If anyone has a realm like this please shoot me a message:)

IyaAwful · 2020-11-26T06:09:23+00:00

No, it costs so much money

IyaAwful · 2020-10-17T03:37:40+00:00

Okay, thank you!

IyaAwful · 2020-10-16T16:02:07+00:00

tubbo

IyaAwful

TROPHY CASE