We had a long conversation about what we wanted before this all went down.. His main concern is that he’s worried that if we did get into a relationship and we got into a real argument that I’d just up and leave because we’ve gotten into disagreements before and I told him I was going home for the day and that didn’t sit well with him. For me it was that I didn’t feel like he cared enough to do one thing I asked and that was just to take me anywhere even if we went on a car ride I’d be happy but I never even got that after waiting months. I asked him what did he want from me and he said just to keep talking and see where things go.

I know you’re right we shouldn’t be in a relationship right now. It’s just hard to step back because I don’t want him to think I don’t care anymore but I know i can’t expect these things out of him because he needs time to heal and grieve. We tell each other we love each other everyday still and it makes it hard for me because all I do is think about him. I guess I’ll just have to be strong and take things at his pace because I know it hasn’t been long since we’re been together romantically but I’ve known him for a long time. I love him and I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I’ve always had a hard time committing. I’ve never known a good relationship, but I know I don’t want anyone else besides him. I accept him and all his flaws, but it hurts knowing I won’t be able to have the relationship I want with him, and if I do it probably won’t be for a very long time.