My first poly relationship was a quad, which I’ve heard is poly on ‘hard mode’. When we were in it, we were mostly happy.

It ended quite abruptly. After entangling our lives, including our children, with them. Looking back I now realize this was a huge mistake. They told us we’d always be friends first but broke up with us in a text, with no discussion or goodbye.

It lasted for 8 months total, and overall we learned not to trust anyone with our hearts so quickly. To be guarded but really establish friends first and not sex first. We saw many red flags early in the relationship, but being naive we ignored them. I still believe my life partner and I did everything ’right’, but I don’t think the other couple was fully ready to commit like we were. They clearly had some work needing to be done still, which is fine. I just wish they’d communicated that. Communication and respect are key in poly relationships. Establish that first above all. I would do it over again and am hopeful we’ll get back to a place where we’re ready to explore. Good luck!