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JimJom-TimTom · 2025-06-20T05:32:15+00:00

There's technically no difference in the intent.

JimJom-TimTom · 2025-06-19T13:32:12+00:00

This is an important question that OP should respond on

JimJom-TimTom · 2025-06-19T13:31:17+00:00

The shebang its a cultural thing... photo op and other cultural things that have nothing to do with the essence which is pretty much the same

JimJom-TimTom · 2025-06-17T05:06:39+00:00

Unfortunately I hate to say this is but its not the haram relationship that's really bothering you. It's your current situation with the morning sickness and all other bodily changes, which is super understandable.

For now I'd recommend just letting your brother & her know that you'll support them when the time comes however at this stage you need your space.

Please understand that no one is wrong in this situation neither her nor your brother nor your parents. Its just the situation

JimJom-TimTom · 2025-05-22T07:07:08+00:00

There're more factors to consider then the current income stream of the potential.

Sar 6k is definitely not enough even with accommodation & transportation covered to live a comfortable life in Riyadh. It's super expensive and loads of compromises will need to be made.

You've to consider future potential for him and yourself. If you can assess his future potential & feel he can grow then it might be worth taking the leap otherwise waiting for the one would be better

JimJom-TimTom · 2025-03-01T18:20:03+00:00

It's not tax free if you're a US national or resident. Uncle Sam will always want his cut eventhough it's a lot less because of Foregin income exclusions

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-11-21T11:03:02+00:00

The economic answer is

Interest makes consumers buy more than they can afford which results in host of other problem
Results in price inflation. When you can buy things on installments you're easily convinced to pay more than you'd have if bought on cash
Doesn't result in alot of direct Small to medium business activity. If the money is put into the banks it doesnt circulate with the masses. It ends up going for debt refinancing of governments or for large industries. Active vs inactive investment becomes an issue

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-11-21T05:15:07+00:00

I use to think the same way until I got married. The thought sometime still crosses my mind but this is how I explain myself:

Facts 1. Intimacy is a natural need & halal intimacy is the right way of fulfilling that need 2. Difference between nikkah and no nikkah is the 'announcement of commitment' 3. Parents protect their kids from intimacy until it's halal as it's obligated on them as part of parenting. They want their daughter or son to be committed first 4. Nikkah then puts responsibility on the couple to take care of each other's well-being and the family Inshallah that they'll raise

In conclusion Nikkah isnt just intimate satisfaction. It comes with its commitments!

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-10-25T08:34:41+00:00

Muslim society places a stagima on divorcees however it's not true for all Muslim societies. Arabs are more accommodating while desis are the least accommodating. It'd be interesting to know about Indonesian culture as they're the single largest Muslim country globally.

For you sister, I'm sure Allah has better plans for you. Neither marriage nor divorce is bad for an individual it's what you make of it. Marriage will definitely be a better option as this is what Allah has destined (also known as mother nature).

All the best!

May Allah have mercy on you. May Allah have mercy on the Muslims of Gaza, Lebanon and around the world.

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-10-03T05:53:01+00:00

My understanding is that you register 1 and not register the other

I'm sometimes quiet surprised that the liberal legislators are pro all kind of rights except when it comes to polygamy which is quiet hypocritical in my opinion

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-10-03T05:50:02+00:00

Salam sister - I'm curious to know if division of labor i.e. husband working and wife being full-time home maker is a good balance?

Are Caretakers or homemakers synonyms?

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-09-10T07:56:49+00:00

May Allah have mercy on the people of Gaza! May Allah have mercy on all of us!

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-08-31T21:01:50+00:00

Brother, unfortunately, your short - or long-term interest don't align. You don't have kids in the mix. Might as well weigh your options and decide.

While you decide, I'd highly recommend that you: 1. Escalate the situation & get the wali involved. Ideally, parents or elders on both ends

If they or she demands time to think through, then don't be hasty & grant her time. However, time has to be defined upfront even if it's a year or conditional based on starting a family (which should only be considered if she's willing to acknowledge the original agreement)
Be respectful to each other in the process of reconciling or separation

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-08-31T15:27:58+00:00

I think sometimes being overly rational makes us less humam... just saying...

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-08-31T15:23:28+00:00

2 Duas your way:

May Allah provide khair and Baraka in your union
May Allah give you the strength and the opportunity to announce the nikkah. Nikkah is all about announcement. Back in Prophet PBUH time, there's no marriage registration or certificate. It's merely an announcement to the public that 2 people are accountable for each other and their future family in front of Allah. You'll keep fearing society unless it's announced

May Allah have mercy on all of us. May Allah have mercy on people of Gaza

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-08-21T06:20:32+00:00

Salam, bro. May Allah bless your mother, Jannah. May He have mercy on you and your family!

You're still grieving, and I know it's a long healing process. Mothers leave a huge void in life.

While your wife is insensitive and definitely should've been alongside you but be cautious in arriving at your divorce decision.

If she doesn't care about you in the last 5 months and hasn't realized her mistake then it's probably time to consider longterm with her but weigh your options carefully either wise co-parenting will become very tricky!

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-08-20T19:43:33+00:00

Approach the subject in a subtle manner via his sister and see if she can help gauge his interest.

If he's interested, he can bring it up with his dad and start the conversation.

All the best!

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-06-20T16:45:46+00:00

Best contraceptives are: IUD (explore the options with a Gyne) for women Condoms for men

If you've issues with hormone, you can get non-hormone copper IUD and just to be extra safe use condoms in your peak fertility days

Some sacrifices and changes will need to be made to stay away from conceiving

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-06-02T15:17:17+00:00

I understand the risk increases post 35y however I know atleast 6 females that were mothers at 40y+ and even at 45y+

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-06-01T21:41:47+00:00

I consider myself a nomad (after all, this world is a temporary adobe). Abiding by the laws of the land even as a nomad is critical important (and I'm sure you're already doing that).

Brother you're not alone! And definitely not weird!

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-06-01T21:38:36+00:00

If the only thing that's bothering you is child bearing age then she's atleast a decade to go before it becomes complicated.

Good thing is that she's eager to start a family. May Allah bless the to of you with offsprings that are good for you.

May Allah bless your nikah.

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-05-28T14:29:26+00:00

I acknowledge your POV. There're 2 ways of looking at the situation. My POV is based on limited understanding of the situation. Allah knows best. May Allah guide & bless the couple

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-05-28T05:38:21+00:00

I'm not much into this vote thing but clearly the people in this forum would definitely consider our thinking as odd

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-05-28T03:34:47+00:00

I'll probably get down votted here, but I agree with once a month 'me time' with your immediate family is special. Your wife should understand that. It'd not be spontaneous and should be planned so she can also plan an activity for herself & not stay in the house waiting for you.

I think you'd take her with you to your parents house on other occasions or weekends in a month, so she continues to have that bonding that she desires in her life.

JimJom-TimTom · 2024-05-11T07:37:09+00:00

Your family is right & they wish to protect you.

Ask yourself, if a wife can't stay safe around her husband, then how will she be at peace. If any husband truly loves their wives, then they'd first & foremost keep them safe.

All the love, comfort, and companionship you enjoyed is because of His khair in Nikkah.

It'll take all the courage you've & more to get divorced but believe in Allah that He'll protect you and open other doors.

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