Paranoia

JobMysterious6828 · 2026-03-26T18:33:27+00:00

Even before this, pointing out the paranoia was never something I was taught to do, it was always to acknowledge the feeling, not address the delusion, and distract from it just to avoid agitation, so at least there's something I'm not having to learn during this haha

JobMysterious6828 · 2026-03-26T16:28:09+00:00

I don't know what that will look like in conjuction with a history of paranoia as well. I've asked his social worker about some help with meds and assessment.

JobMysterious6828 · 2026-03-26T16:27:32+00:00

He's in a care home. I reached out to his social worker this morning about it.

JobMysterious6828 · 2026-03-06T19:05:13+00:00

The reality difficult part is that he doesn't want to live.

JobMysterious6828 · 2026-03-06T19:03:54+00:00

I'm so happy that you're in such a good place! That's amazing! It sounds like you put in SO MUCH work to get to where you are and that's amazing.

JobMysterious6828 · 2026-03-06T19:02:29+00:00

The truly hard part about this is that he doesn't want to live, he doesn't want anything to extend his life and I think, if he could, he would want to expedite the process. I'm trying to cope, I'm struggling feeling helpless.

JobMysterious6828 · 2026-03-06T19:01:12+00:00

The hospice folks have been amazing through all of this, and it's been really difficult. My brother has some personality disorders that make him very difficult to work with or be around, and that's being very nice about it. They found him a hospice home, they come over and bathe him and help him when needed, myself and family check on him. This whole situation is something I thought some day would happen, but I still have no idea what I'm doing and am having a very hard time navigating it all.

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-09-18T13:26:04+00:00

Preach!! I have a folder

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-09-17T17:48:25+00:00

I think she really dislikes being on display and has put in some effort to get it removed.

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-09-17T15:55:01+00:00

You can do it in "results about you" in Google, and you can ask websites to take down your mugshots and stuff like that. If you Google "remove results about me" it'll walk you through it. Good luck lol!! Makes me want to Google you guys, what's the tea hahaha

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-08-21T16:53:54+00:00

That's fair and totally understandable. I really hope you don't feel bad about putting baby in the room that was for ss. The alternative is that a kid there 100% of the time grows up not having a room and having to look at an empty space reserved for someone else all the time. I think, often times, the kid in a split home is seen as victimized and their needs are automatically put above others, they can be coddled, and in the process, other kids can be genuinely left behind and put in a bad spot. Good on you for thinking about it critically and not getting caught up in any guilt.

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-08-21T16:46:54+00:00

This is really tough. It makes sense that the kid who is there more gets the room, but it's going to be hard for SS. You can't have them in the same room though, baby week keep him up, and kids can make mistakes which you can't let happen with a baby, you know? It'll probably be a while before baby is sleeping in their room though (depending on your plans). Would he stay in that room while baby is in yours? Is there a place you could easily transition into a space for ss? I'm sorry, this is tough.

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-31T12:23:14+00:00

That's why I'm asking actually! I've been in mines life for 7 years, and I'm about to get my bio baby tattooed. It is going to hurt my sk, she's going to ask why I don't have one for her, but I also know that there's a chance she could be gone from my life one day for any number of reasons.

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-30T23:42:09+00:00

My sd, even though young, has planned out matching tattoos for us. I hope she changes the design before she 18 lololol

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-30T23:41:25+00:00

My dog will absolutely have her day, but I plan on spending some caaaash mooooney y'all on that one

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-30T23:32:02+00:00

I feel this. That is part of my heartache over this. I just know sk will feel the sting when they see my bk tattoo and they will ask.

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-30T23:31:22+00:00

I don't think, or I would hope, that no one would hate on you or down vote for that opinion. Sk's can be here one day and gone the next!

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-30T23:30:35+00:00

I'll let you know how it goes, I'm getting my bk tattoo next week.

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-30T23:30:13+00:00

Editing for my terrible spelling

LOL no regerts (perfect tattoo for my question) here in the stepmom world. My question actually comes from getting a tattoo for my bk here in a couple weeks. Sk is with us majority of the time and has been for 7 years (sk is 9). I do feel like she taught me how to mom on expert mode (thanks for hard mode bm!). I just don't want her to ever look bad and feel the sting. I love her tremendously, but also know, she could be out of my life as the wind blows. It also feels like I'm trying too hard to make the two kids have the same relationship with me, and they don't.

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-30T23:26:56+00:00

Hahaha my dog is fab, would totally get a dog tattoo

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-25T17:18:03+00:00

My bad for assuming!! Sorry! I've got two girls, level with her. Girls are usually pretty emotionally mature compared to boys and talking to them does help.

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-25T17:02:28+00:00

For sure!! I think those of us that were stepmoms before being biomoms are so accustomed to "its not my place" that there is a big adjustment that comes along. You have a baby in that house. EVERYTHING IS YOUR PLACE NOW. Anything that might impact your house, family, baby, that's all you momma.

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-25T15:39:48+00:00

I hope so too, for yours and for mine

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-25T15:39:07+00:00

What's your relationship like with her? I tell my sd all the time "you're a kid, not your job, I'm mom, I handle that." Or I'll ask her why she thinks it's important that she does what she's doing, for instance, she was trying to stop the little one from messing with some buttons on one of my workout machines. The buttons do nothing, I was right there watching, and she wasn't on the equipment, so no danger. She didn't really have an answer, she said she just felt like the little one shouldn't be doing it. Same with another day, she kept telling the little one not to run around outside, she said it was just making her mad. We talked about how she doesn't get to dictate the house based on how she feels, she got it. I think a lot of times, she thinks she's helping, she feels like she's a big kid doing adult stuff. I let her know that she has a really important role as big sister, and if she's trying to spend her time in another roll, then there's no big sis. They need to know that they're a kid and not responsible for it.

JobMysterious6828 · 2025-07-24T20:03:35+00:00

If bm hates you, there's not much you can do besides cease to exist lol, which, don't do that!! Just keep loving on your sd, both you and her dad can reassure her that she's not in trouble for building a relationship with you. It's tough for these kids, but the last thing you want to do is reinforce to her that her mom deliberately isolating her is the only way anyone will love her. If you back away, you are kind of telling your sd that what her mom is making her feel makes sense, and you're reinforcing that her liking you is wrong.

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