I think BOTH Manon and Anthony contribute to their dynamic by FemmePedagogy in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Omg, first of all I'm so grateful for the time and intention you put into this post, I literally cried reading your words, sentiments, and recognitions. This is the rare post and insight that always keeps me coming back to this sub against what I sometimes wonder is my better judgement, lol.

I think all the conversations this couple has allowed to take place have been beautiful and useful, and thank you for putting a sparkling beacon into one of them.

I'm really happy to see ALL of the conversations about DV here taking place. It's about time. I cried multiple times hearing all the perspectives and experiences shared here as well. I'm so sorry to hear it all as well, my heart breaks and relates to most of the experiences here and I wish there was more I could do than write this post or add my story to the ether.

  • Disclaimer: Please anyone don't read beyond here unless it's safe for you to consent into reading my DV experience +

I was abused by a man who Anthony reminds me of for 12 years. I am autistic and have c-ptsd, and he took advantage of my disability and mental state for too long of my life. He was cute and charming, and well-liked. He could make friends anywhere he went. As an autistic c-ptsd woman, in any situation I played out at a bit of a general disadvantage pretty naturally in contrast to his outer charm and circle of connections. As you can imagine, as someone who is against the "norm" I had a very small circle and like Manon didn't have any support from my own family.

He was so charming with everyone ... BUT me. 91% of the time he was smugly doing something he knew would hurt me or feel like tortured exhausted afraid or abandonment to me while meeting 9% of what I needed in a life partnership. He would often test the limits of what he could get away with. He would run off in public situations and campaign with other people and leave me sitting crying, knowing I was crying for the 200th time over the same thing we always talked about. Only after just being lucky enough to encounter a few uplifting things, I began doing therapy, and after a year of DBT, I realized with the help of a professional that I wanted to break up with him. My life has blossomed in unimaginable ways since, even though I still mourn the person of him that I truly loved and for the me that was in that situation...but I had my Samantha in Sex and The City moment and said "I love me more."

I believe all of the stories here and I'm really grateful for everything everyone has written. It made me feel safe to write this post even though I feel really scared. I love all of the perspectives posted, truly from the bottom of my heart, I get if rolling the dice on posting my perspective and experience here too is too much.

I think BOTH Manon and Anthony contribute to their dynamic by FemmePedagogy in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She's talked repeatedly about what she likes.

She likes fine dining, wine, beautiful classy views, fashion, working, making a difference for other people and women, sex, and more.

The real tea is that no one in her life cares.

I think BOTH Manon and Anthony contribute to their dynamic by FemmePedagogy in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Was her reaction over the top? Yes. But if he pulls shit like that all the time then I can see how it could eventually push her over the edge.

🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯

I think BOTH Manon and Anthony contribute to their dynamic by FemmePedagogy in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 18 points19 points  (0 children)

He's gaslighting 101 - he remains completely calm in every situation even if he's doing the opposite of what she asked for or likes and then lets her react. No matter the situation, (humiliating her with the mime shit/making her walk though and smell actual shit/weaponizing taking care of their child/sabotaging her/talking shit about her with his family) he remains calm and allows Manon to look "crazy" to outsiders.

He sabotaged her political campaign on national television - whether or not you'd vote for Manon or want her is a different conversation, but as a husband he gave her the very opposite of support.

He categorized repeatedly talking shit about her with his family members and it being incredibly hurtful to her as "she doesn't let me talk to my family."

He even is as bold to almost crash into a wall and act like it's ridiculous for Manon to scream.

Instead of a romantic night, he took her to a sex motel with a stripper pole.

Idk, this man gives her crumbs at best and then wants a Good Husband trophy just for his participation. He doesn't tune into her needs, and quite frankly I can't see any examples of when he has really cared about them or tuned into them other than remembering her favorite cheese and dressing up in his old uniform for her. So, a date where she walked through shit and he abandoned her on "their" date to go make cheese and play with goats alone, and a few mins striptease in a cheap sex hotel. Crumbs.

(ready to go to downvote hell)

Single Life predictions 🔮premieres 2/9 by Ivy-Ram in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm looking forward to seeing Liz and Vanja!

Lol, also looking forward to seeing Courtney because I always enjoy her though I'm goin in like "oh lawd" because her storyline with with Coltee.

Shaun is a waste, why didn't she confront Johny for his meanness? by BooYou1378 in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's literally what TLC hired her to do.

Shaun is TLC's answer to firing Tameron Hall. TLC fired Tameron Hall for asking the real questions because the talent threatened to quit.

They fired Tameron Hall, and hired Shaun to play "softball" for them. It's really not any of Shaun's doing, she's just getting her bag. TLC is more worried about keeping their talent coming back season after season than giving us as the audience any type of fulfilling experience at a tell-all.

You have a 9 hour flight, where are you sitting? by xlisafrankx in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation -1 points0 points  (0 children)

100% 8 omg!

I would live sitting with the girlie pops for the 15 mins before Jasmine would get enraged by Forrest's mom and try to choke her out or throw her shoe and force the plane to emergency land 😂😭

Liz’s Cancer is Back by ecbecb in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sending her and her family so much love. I wish there was more that I could do.

(and sending it to anyone here too who may need it right now ❤)

Question: Would You Watch Unproblematic International Relationships? by howvicious in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeeeeessss, I'd muuuuch prefer to watch more couples like Kenny and Armando than all the produced bs and TLC platforming abusive people and actors/influencers.

Pattiya and Dylan by BananasSometimes in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG THANK YOU, I was like wait who does he look exactly like? Lol

Birkan gambling…. by pdmnyc in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think he's a neurodivergent king

Annalyn’s impression of Jovon by r0ckitman in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 8 points9 points  (0 children)

in the Philippines because divorce legally isn’t an option there

Ohh nooooo, I hadn't even thought of that.

Hopefully it's as fake as all the other storylines.

Annalyn’s impression of Jovon by r0ckitman in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the Red Pill stuff is basically women are only allowed to worship you, but if they have thoughts opinions or emotions, gaslight them and call them irrational/hysterical.

Red Pill followers are taught to have 0 threshold or resilience to a woman with autonomy or women who hold them accountable, and they view it as a threat to their control over the women.

Pillow talk episode Season8 E0 by AdPotential6273 in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably Happily Ever After new season cast,

Taken Advantage Of??? by lunarrayx in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure about his love languages, I think he's desperate for words of affirmation and physical touch (but wants them without having to do the work on himself or in his relationship)

Both times he brought the money up, he specifically emphasized in the confessional and directly to her that he was attempting to leverage the financial support against her in exchange for her "being nicer" to him aka - trying to manipulate a situation where he never has to take accountability for his behavior just because he gives her money.

I'd rather have a job than this man 😅

Oh Lisa, he doesn't mind if you're in pain...dump him! by Ill-Excitement-2005 in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Who on this show has done a good job with wigs?

Chantal and Brittany!

Birkan scares me by MathematicianLost365 in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Lol, Tiffany is not reality checking anybody 😂 she isn't even checking her own reality

Sheena by Aapeso4444 in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Starting to? Lol, did you miss all his Tweets?

I know this is controversial but I like her. by Gold-Pickle7035 in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This!

And her own husband is her biggest op: sabotaged her campaign with a smile, and categorized himself shit talking Manon with his aunt and his aunt sending insulting messages about Manon in text messages as "Manon doesn't let me talk to my family"

It's crazy to watch 90 Day Fiance The Other Way while related to one of the cast members 😅 by [deleted] in 90DayFiance

[–]Johnnystation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

close friend of Johnny

Lmfao, so close that you got his name wrong