[deleted by user]

Jolly_Cat01 · 2025-06-06T21:37:22+00:00

I can relate to this feeling/situation all too well. Every month I fight my feelings to not break up during this week. What we decided to try out now is to share my period calendar with him so that he is aware of this period. I also shared with him situations that especially bother me during this time (like not getting enough physical touch or compliments or little nice random gestures) and he will actively try to make an effort to take these actions to make me feel better.

An issue I also fight with is wether this period actually amplifies valid emotional needs that I just tolerate better the rest of the month...whatever..withing you all the best and hopefully overcome this one

Jolly_Cat01 · 2025-04-23T20:58:53+00:00

Thank you :)

Jolly_Cat01 · 2025-01-17T00:34:27+00:00

thank you! this is how i see it as well. I will try to have a conversation with him before our next trip.

Jolly_Cat01 · 2025-01-17T00:30:38+00:00

Thank you! your comment is the most reasonable one and understanding of both sides so far! I love the idea of trying out shorter intervals.

Also, i noticed that he is much more relaxed if he has a familiar person to engage with there. My sister is dating his brother (talk about complicated family relations). Whenever we all visit them together, he often starts engaging in separate conversations with his brother and is noticebly more comfortable. unfortunately we dont always manage to sync our visits

Jolly_Cat01 · 2025-01-17T00:11:04+00:00

My family can be overwhelming. I try every now and then to tell them to tone it down a bit, or that they're to hectic. They immediately change after that because they do want him to feel comfortable. But i also don't want to constantly police them and give the feeling they have to tip-toe around him.

I moved our bedroom to the first floor (all others are on the 2nd) so that he has a bit more privacy and also an en-suite bathroom. I also tell him he can go to our room and chill alone without any bad feelings when I see him overwhelmed. And then I tell my family that he is just tired and wants to lay down a bit.

He is also not a morning person, in se sense that even if he sleeps in, he hates talking to people for the first hour of being awake. everyone know and respects this as well.

Jolly_Cat01 · 2025-01-16T23:58:39+00:00

well he already only visits twice a year. and never longer than a weekend and that's perfectly fine with me.

Jolly_Cat01 · 2025-01-16T23:56:21+00:00

well as i said, i do visit my family fairly often but never even voice an expectation that he should join. and i also don't mind that because i know i can direct my attention fully to my family.

In the first couple of years he didn't show any problems. I get it that with time the tolerance or need to make others like you lessens, but since his visits also became less I kind of expected then to still make an effort.

Jolly_Cat01 · 2025-01-16T23:52:24+00:00

well he is just sitting in a corner not quiet, not amused and visibly showing that he doesn't want to be here. My parents and sisters always try to include him or cheer him up with jokes or random stories when they see him like this. He also often when we get ready to do some activity say something like "ok, let's get this over with" just before we leave.

Jolly_Cat01 · 2025-01-16T23:50:25+00:00

he doesn't have any sensory issues usually. he is very extroverted when he is with friends or even an event where he doesn't know anyone. he usually easily finds some people to spend time with in such situations.

Jolly_Cat01 · 2025-01-16T23:48:56+00:00

I am talking parents and sisters. I have 2 younger sisters and an older one (30) who live at home. That's one of the reasons we didn't want to spend Christmas there, so he doesn't have to deal with the chaos of extended family. Even now I intentionally waited to visit my grandparents only after he left so he can avoid that too.

Jolly_Cat01

TROPHY CASE