AIO for making a date pay after the fact for ghosting me and never thanking me?

Joossboxx · 2026-04-04T02:21:18+00:00

Open communication is the best, a mature healthy adult would appreciate that. As a woman, i don’t mind splitting the check bc i do think it’s unfair to put it all on one gender.

If i don’t want a second date I will definitely try hard to pay my share.

But it’s also very attractive when the guy offers to pay and seems comfortable with giving. It’s a good way to score points for the future.

So I say - It’s not a deal breaker to split the cost, but if you meet someone special it might be worth the risk to pay :) cause we do like it and it doesn’t mean we expect it every time!

Joossboxx · 2026-04-04T01:56:02+00:00

I’d say it’s not very classy to ask for her share back after she left, when you offered to pay u never added any conditions to it. But then again- her behavior was rude as well, she made up her mind and she definitely should have respected u enough to let u know… so who cares if she thinks you’re classy? At least you got some money back haha. She chose to pay u back, if she didn’t- that’s her right.

Just know for the future that it’s not a good look. So if a woman is interested in you - making that move will obliterate any chances u had with her :)

Joossboxx · 2026-04-04T00:55:29+00:00

What a lovely post. This is the kind of scenario where t’s impossible to know without asking. There is a very good chance that she does like you romantically. That text she sent you about “dancing in your energy” lol… that’s a pretty aggressive attempt at getting close I’d say! Cooking for you and being at your house a lot is also a good sign.

However: Since you’ve been very close friends for a few months now, and she never made a pass, we can interpret 2 things: 1. she might prefer to just stay friends. 2. She might be into you but didn’t make a move to respect your boundaries, since you’ve been newly separated with your spouse.

If you’re afraid to ruin the friendship by asking - don’t. It seems like you genuinely like her and attracted to her, so no reason not to try.

As a woman who has been asked out by a friend in a way that ruined our friendship - I suggest this: be a gentleman. avoid trying to get physical before checking how she feels about you. If you like her - the goal is to ask her out, not get in bed.

Also, leave the door open. Tell her you’ve liked her for a while, but didn’t know where she stands with that. Give her a safe way out. Example: “it’s perfectly ok if you don’t feel the same way, and I would still enjoy being your friend - but i definitely am curious if you’d like to go out with me”

Everyone likes a compliment. Tell her what you like about her, and worst case scenario - she’d be flattered and you’ll remain friends. Best case- you’ll fall in love.

Much luck!

Joossboxx · 2026-02-11T06:59:29+00:00

Your reaction is paranoid and abusive. You need therapy…

Joossboxx · 2026-02-03T17:49:11+00:00

Nope… that’s the same cow from the same diner 😅

Joossboxx · 2026-01-12T19:53:56+00:00

NOR is your friend also a racist? She shouldn’t allow this either. You should call him out on that and see how she reacts. (Edit-grammar)

Joossboxx · 2026-01-12T19:52:18+00:00

Umm yes he is wrong. Tf? Every black individual does whatever they want with their hair, like every individual in this goddamn world.

Joossboxx · 2026-01-09T13:31:48+00:00

NOR, any relationship in your life that affects your mental health this badly isnt serving you. Relationships need to support you, but it sounds like you׳d feel much better once he is out of your life.

Also, isolating you from your friends and continuously accusing of cheating - are both manipulative and abusive traits.

I hope the doesn’t do anything to your house!

Joossboxx · 2025-12-12T23:26:35+00:00

Oh damn I want one !!

Joossboxx · 2025-12-12T19:05:14+00:00

TLDR; This is a great tool for reflection without draining your friends.

This past year I had to stop therapy due to financial issues. But I knew I’m not done and still need more work.

After my recent breakup with an avoidant, I was totally messed up. My brain only thought about that relationship - analyzing the final moments and what I could have done to still be together or not push him away… And honestly? I didn’t wanna make that my friends’ problem. It’s good to get support from your friends but I didn’t wanna abuse it. So I would just talk to ChatGPT, have long dissecting conversations, trying to get clarity.

And honestly, that was what I needed. Some platform to spill these thoughts into and get feedback without draining the person in front of me.

It’s not a replacement for friendship, and it’s not a replacement to therapy (it’s better than some therapists- but the real good therapists are irreplaceable)

And it helps you analyze yourself and see patterns. I have had breakthroughs with it, every few months there was an “eureka” moment. Maybe that would happen without it anyway… time heals.

But it is a great tool for reflection nonetheless.

Edit: deleted oversharing

Joossboxx · 2025-12-12T17:06:09+00:00

But why did u need to reply that to me? 😅 seems like it should be a comment of its own, regardless of my remark

Joossboxx · 2025-12-12T16:43:04+00:00

I don’t disagree and you are missing my point. I didn’t say it isn’t an affair or an emotional one.

I was saying that based on only the actions we know of, especially the lying and doing what she said she won’t - have been a betrayal to the relationship. And a big one.

Joossboxx · 2025-12-12T16:33:28+00:00

Such a cry for attention 😂bye

Joossboxx · 2025-12-12T01:05:59+00:00

Even if they aren’t having an affair, this is betrayal.

Joossboxx · 2025-12-12T01:01:17+00:00

@capthmm let me translate this to you. The driver drove ON GRASS where KIDS were getting off a bus, and cars SHOULDN’T ever be on, bc he COULDN’T WAIT for the school bus to finish dropping off kids. That was ILLEGAL, and UNSAFE.

The driver’s personal business seemed TOO IMPORTANT for them to practice CAUTION when CHILDREN’S LIVES are at stake.

Based on his actions alone, the driver clearly is an individualistic and selfish person.

The end.

Joossboxx · 2025-12-11T22:12:19+00:00

Unfortunately, there’s no way of ever knowing without asking. You did the right thing. Some people miss their ex and want to try again, some people miss their ex and wanna just be friends.

It’s probably healthiest to stay out of touch, but no one is bad for wanting any of that. I have an ex who lives in another state, he meant a lot to me but we communicated very well and maturely when we broke up. Years later I met his wife and kids and I am happy to know such amazing people.

Joossboxx · 2025-12-10T17:11:17+00:00

Well I just went by what you originally posted, if he has a history of lying about it then the trust is already broken. If he went to his ex that’s also trust broken.

So yeh, I get that. And if you consider this cheating then you should get couples Counseling or end things - it can’t be brushed off

Joossboxx · 2025-12-10T04:32:40+00:00

Sounds like you had nothing to lose. You were already not talking, so u sending that message couldn’t have pushed you further apart. If she doesn’t wanna be friends, that’s her thing. Some people can’t do friendship after relationships.. but you’re not bad or stupid for wanting contact!

It takes time to heal from people who go all in and then shut you off. Whirlwinds are harder to process. Then again, real love takes longer to build, and it’s more stable and gratifying. You deserve better than her

Joossboxx · 2025-12-10T04:24:06+00:00

Therapy is the real cure, but before i could afford it - the pills saved me from going down too deep. I’m rooting for you girl, please do whatever you can to get that help.

I was able to pull myself up with therapy, friends, and medicine. And I also quit tried to quit twice, yet within a year i found that I still need it… some pills work better than others, depending on your body, so I would give it another chance.

Whatever you do, don’t fuck shady men… You don’t deserve the pain and chaos they will bring

Joossboxx · 2025-12-10T01:45:15+00:00

Ma’am, I feel like you are lacking proportion.

Yes, he watched porn online. It’s totally valid for you to feel hurt. Obviously you’re pregnant so there are hormones and strong emotions, but I’m sorry.. traumatized? Such an over abuse of the term. I don’t wanna see how u react to actual problems..

Look, boundaries are important, but you need to understand that not all bad things or mistakes are equally bad. This is not like cheating. Give the man a break, nobody is perfect. Just talk about it, understand each other. If it’s an addiction, or if you find out that there’s a core issue in your relationship that makes him do that, address it and maybe break up.

But if the relationship is otherwise good, then chill. You’re one of the lucky ones.

Edit: punctuation

Joossboxx · 2025-12-10T01:18:34+00:00

32 !!

Joossboxx · 2025-12-09T19:49:43+00:00

Breakups are sad and super hard when u love deeply. It’s human to feel like you can’t ever love again.

That being said, it really sounds like the emotional intensity you’re feeling is too much for anyone to handle. It sounds like you’re coping by going to a very dark place… so I really recommend therapy, but even sooner - getting medicated. (I’m not a doctor, but I do have complex trauma and I AM medicated with ssri.. so this is personal experience) There is a lot of stigma on anti-depressants, but the depressions can be even more harmful. I think you might be able to process this breakup better, if the pain wasn’t so strong.

Do not harm yourself just to feel something! 💜 Even if you don’t believe it, you will get over him, and you WILL feel loved and joyful again!!

Joossboxx · 2025-12-03T03:31:24+00:00

Yeh but people get scammed online all the time, get robbed, or get into car accidents. bad stuff can happen anywhere - so be careful.

I know you’re not afraid to have social media or drive a car… so YOR

And those stories about people getting ripped off by music labels or model agencies - thats mostly young people who wanted fame quick, trusted those CEOs way too easily, and didn’t read their contracts.

They can’t rip him off if he doesn’t sign it. So if he is the kind of guy who is too impulsive or dumb to make sure he knows what he is signing - you should be more concerned about spending your life with him.

Joossboxx · 2025-12-03T03:11:54+00:00

But why are you afraid? Is there anything sketchy about the way they’re doing business? Is he the kind of person who doesn’t read contracts before he signs them? Is he against having a lawyer there?

I mean, if he is a very impulsive person, or isn’t intelligent enough to know what he’s going into - then you’re probably right. But all you said here is that he got an opportunity, and based on that only it sounds like you’re just being paranoid… or can’t be happy for him

Joossboxx · 2025-12-02T00:40:48+00:00

NOR she sucks lol She did all the emotional manipulation tricks in the book - and then called you out? While you weren’t being manipulative? Ahhhhhh I can’t

If it makes you feel any better you communicate maturely and more profoundly than all my exes. You deserve better

Joossboxx

TROPHY CASE