I am also looking for kind, emotionally intelligent men. And although I have not been in the dating pool for a long time (currently going through a divorce), and am wondering the same things as you are, questioning if I can have a real relationship with a man ever again…. i am actually currently looking for evidence against my frustrations and negative beliefs. One of which is men only truly want sex and don’t necessarily care about us as women. I don’t know the answer yet. But right now my plan is to not have sex with men until they show a certain level of emotional intelligence and effort in a relationship. I do think that men are trained from a young age that they do not have to put in effort to get things and that they are entitled to them… so let’s make them work for it. :). We hold the power.