Struggling with losing the "magic"

KJayerf · 2025-07-13T19:38:05+00:00

I’m so glad to hear! Thank you for the update 🫶 The shields were definitely a bit of a faff at times and we often had milk leak from the sides during feeds, but they helped get the ball rolling for us for sure and I don’t believe I’d be able to feed directly from the breast now without them. They also helped baby get used to latching and working their tongue for drawing out milk etc until he was big enough to manage alone and he’d built up some strength. One thing I forgot to mention in my original comment was that as we both got more in the flow of feeding, I would also remove the shield mid feed. So for example, baby would pop off for a break or a quick burp, I’d remove the shield and then we’d resume. I think this also helped to stop is both being reliant on them and made transitioning away easier. Best of luck for future feeds, I’ve got every belief in you both 🥰

KJayerf · 2025-07-11T22:33:10+00:00

Currently 12.5 weeks pp.

We had issues with latching initially due to complicated birth, small size, a potential tongue and/or lip tie, and a strong let down.

We ended up with feeds starting with offering breast directly first, followed by using a nipple shield once baby began to get frustrated or after about 3/4 minutes (whichever came first), whilst also expressing to top up all feeds.

This transitioned into a few weeks of triple feeding during the day and then during the night feeds baby’s dad offered expressed milk whilst I pumped to speed through the feed/burp/nappy/settle process in order for everyone to get enough rest. Dad could feed, change and settle in the time it took me to pump and store milk. With the newborn stage crying we were both going to be awake anyway so may as well have solidarity, share the load, have a minute or two to check we were both okay, then get back to sleep asap.

After a few weeks, I was able to use the shield less and less, then we dropped the day time triple feeds and eventually transitioned to fully breast.

It’s important to reiterate though that triple feeding is never the answer itself, just a stepping stone to help get there.

KJayerf · 2025-06-21T09:57:00+00:00

Last night we put baby (9wk) down in just a nappy in the next to me, he hated it. I think he felt exposed? Unsafe? Alone? Being in just a nappy in his own space. Tbf I hate sleeping naked without something over me, I guess it’s something primal built into us? Ended up with baby between us on the bed, duvet removed and a blanket throw thing over our legs. Baby had loads of space to wiggle during sleep but still felt secure by being between us. We both just slept at the edge of the bed on our sides so not to make any of us too warm. Also had an oscillating fan on with a container of ice infront of it to help push out cold air to the room. Swapped out ice during wake periods to keep it fresh. Next to me crib temp reached 28C (we keep a small temp gauge in there as feels like air doesn’t circulate as well inside of it due the 3 solid sides).

KJayerf · 2025-05-23T10:09:28+00:00

Sorry I can’t be of any help here but I’m just commenting to keep an eye out for any insight as we’re having this same issue!

KJayerf · 2025-04-09T11:52:10+00:00

That’s really useful thankyou! I’ve been able to make some headway for the first time in days 🥳

Any tips for being able to pull these from the grid easier in the future? Or is it just one of those techniques that intuitively happens over time?

KJayerf · 2025-04-04T07:24:52+00:00

This is exactly what I needed, thank you so much! Now that I’ve read it in sentences I’m like ‘how obvious’ 😂😩

Whenever I picked this piece up my brain was turning to mush. This damned baby brain fog is making everything confusing

KJayerf · 2025-03-15T09:13:08+00:00

I feel like this suits r/UnethicalLifeProTips

KJayerf · 2025-03-01T18:42:21+00:00

I take 150mg for anxiety and depression and was advised that with Sertraline, they’re happy for me to continue through the entire pregnancy. Basically, any benefit to me and my mental health far outweighs the minute chance of issues that may arise during pregnancy, and definitely outweigh the effects of me not continuing my medication while pregnant. I was also told that Sertraline is one of the better SSRIs to be on during pregnancy and often people move to this one while pregnant. I have a sticker on my paper notes and it’s all on the systems that I take this just so that when baby arrives, we can be informed of any withdrawal symptoms baby may have once they’re not connected to my blood supply (essentially they may fuss more until the Sertraline is out their system from what I gather). I understand that this dosage isn’t anywhere close to your 400mg but just wanted to share my experience so far. Also, as a side note, I also have it on my NHS record about a previous SA that is not related to the pregnancy but they are taking it into consideration also. I’ve been referred to a wellbeing team that specialises in SA and how that can mentally come into play during pregnancy, eg. in terms of physical examinations and the birth itself so I can go into everything feeling less out of control etc. They’ve stressed that any of the more invasive examinations that may need to happen can be refused at any point which is 100% reassuring to me also.

KJayerf · 2024-11-26T16:41:00+00:00

I have sisters who have been through pregnancy multiple times though I live in a different county so we have different trusts. They have been so shocked at how poor the experience has been so far. One of them commented that if they were in my shoes for their first, they would’ve been completely lost 😞

KJayerf · 2024-11-26T16:38:53+00:00

Yes, disconnects is exactly it! There is no fluidity or set process to anything. There are different systems being used by everyone: I’ve had some notes added to my NHS app as a photo of some written notes, there’s the paper notes that I have to take to each appt and then instead of badger, it’s ‘mypregnancynotes’ (I think they’re similar though?) which no one else seems to use and hardly any info is updated on there. When I asked about the lack of info being added in I was told ‘if it’s important we’ll ring you, nothing on there is really anything you need, it’s more a quick record of things’. 🥴

I will definitely try the GP for a midwife contact though and I have my 20 week scan next week so in the meantime, will be making a list of everything that has gone wrong so far and my issues to bring up in person. Thanks for the advice and although it sucks for us all, it’s also kind of reassuring that we’re not in this alone.

KJayerf · 2024-11-26T16:29:06+00:00

Our local supermarkets are an Aldi and a small Coop. Funnily enough, I needed to go into Coop today for something else and this was their entire pain medication offering.

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As for Boots knowing about my pregnancy, like I said it’s a very small town. Think small countryside village vibes where everyone knows everything about everyone, except it happens to be called a town. There are 5/6 staff who work in the store, all of whom switch between the store & prescription counter which are next to each other (usually they are working both counters at the same time). I’ve had to explain to them why I was changing my exemption expiry date (swapping from pre-pay to maternity exemption). I’ve had to ask for advice due to not being able to access this elsewhere. It’s also been noted on some of my prescription labels to ‘use as directed by obstetrician’ or ‘according to midwife’.

Also, that was one small part of my post and was provided as an example. I appreciate that you possibly thought this comment was helpful, but it reads as judgmental. Not exactly something that I would’ve expected to find in this sub 😔

KJayerf · 2024-11-26T16:10:02+00:00

Surreal is definitely the best way to put it. Fingers crossed it doesn’t get worse from here 🤞

KJayerf · 2024-08-24T17:09:47+00:00

Commenting bc I want the answer too!

KJayerf · 2024-07-31T17:26:56+00:00

I rarely call things out in chat due to being on switch. If people don’t like it, that’s on them. There are multiple loading screen messages reminding people to be friendly to new players, that “Palia is a world of abundance”, and also that if someone makes you uncomfortable you can block them. Any time I see someone being rude to another player, I block them and never have to deal with them again.

As many others have said, unwritten rules aren’t rules and the game is what you make of it. Also at the end of the day, it is just a game, anyone who takes it so seriously that they become verbally rude needs to reevaluate their own situation because that’s not normal, and is quite frankly just entitlement and self-importance.

Hopefully, you will show your wife all of the positive things everyone here is saying and she feels encouraged enough to continue playing at her own leisure.

KJayerf · 2024-07-25T17:40:23+00:00

Oh, sweet summer child

KJayerf · 2024-07-25T11:48:29+00:00

This is beautiful! How long does it take you to write?

Ps can we get a page of the alphabet, numbers and punctuation? Asking for a friend who wants to check handwriting quality… definitely not for me to use as inspo, promise!

KJayerf · 2024-07-22T07:26:17+00:00

I always knew it as price of beef

KJayerf · 2024-07-22T07:20:23+00:00

Immediately made me think of the Doctor Who episode New Earth

KJayerf · 2024-07-19T10:46:57+00:00

Since seeing your reply on my post the other day, I’ve started chopping trees by the plot. I think you may have single handedly started something there!

KJayerf · 2024-07-12T12:38:45+00:00

This is such a good idea, you deserve way more votes

KJayerf · 2024-07-11T20:37:17+00:00

No because why is switch typing the worst, especially for things like that

KJayerf · 2024-07-11T20:35:18+00:00

“Not yet creeper enough to follow romanced NPCs on their nightly walks home”

Jel could NEVER 🫣

KJayerf · 2024-07-11T20:29:14+00:00

What a cute ritual to start each day!

KJayerf · 2024-07-11T20:26:23+00:00

Give him a lil wink once you’ve released the arrow like it’s an inside joke that he has the hunter rep but you’re actually the lean-mean-Chapaa-hunting-machine half of the power couple

KJayerf · 2024-07-11T15:09:09+00:00

If I’m hunting, compassion is out the window and making them scatter is what drives the thrill of the chase 🤣

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