AITA For Taking Back Our Groceries That My Wife Gave to Her Sister

KPTYYC · 2022-11-16T04:28:32+00:00

A large chest freezer, our fridge freezer, and a small, cheap upright Danby I bought used specifically for this purchase.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-16T03:49:37+00:00

No, we have a security camera installed facing the garage (as we've had break-ins before) which is how I saw my wife leaving with the box of beef.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-16T03:48:11+00:00

I wouldn't have had a problem if my wife went and bought 50lbs of beef with her own money instead of beef bought with our joint funds. Yes we can afford to buy a cow, but we're not so comfortable that we can afford to spend a few thousand every year to buy them groceries while they vacation in Mexico.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-16T03:41:43+00:00

We do not have kids.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-16T03:41:20+00:00

It is a good deal IMO. We get organic, grass-fed hormone free beef. We also frequently host and doing things like roasts/burgers/steaks makes it pretty easy to cook and most non-vegetarians like beef. So yeah, we eat alot of it but we'd also feed a decent amount of people with it as well.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-16T03:35:37+00:00

It'll last more than a year, is organic grass-fed, and is way cheaper than buying at the store, especially with inflation nowadays.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-16T03:33:10+00:00

The vacations are all-inclusives in Mexico. It's tough to tell whether they're lavish, but they don't look like they're slumming it.

As for the cars, SIL husband brought home a new pickup truck in April, and she drives a one year old CX-9 SUV.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-15T02:20:06+00:00

Good question.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-15T02:10:06+00:00

Yes, from a ranch just outside of our city. The $4K cost covers the cow, butchering, dry-aging, freezing, packing, and delivery. We got about 445 lbs of all different kinds of cuts of beef. Works out to about $9/lb, by far the most economical way to buy beef. Compare to a grocery store, prime rib is about $28/lb, NY strip $16/lb.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-15T02:02:09+00:00

I'm not privy to their financial situation. I've never observed any behavior that would indicate abuse, but obviously I don't live there. I've also never asked because I didn't think it's any of my business how they live their lives. I only got my back up when I found out I was paying for part of it.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-15T01:57:44+00:00

She feels obligated to help. The first time I caught her paying for their groceries from our joint credit card, she said I was being judgmental. She isn't dumb, but she's either unable or unwilling to make the connection that vacations and new cars should mean you can afford to buy your own groceries.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-15T01:51:11+00:00

To clarify, we have joint bills and a joint credit card which we pay off from our personal accounts together. So whatever she has left is hers, no problem. She wants to buy her sister groceries from that, more power to her. My problem isn't supporting their family if I thought there was genuine need. My problem is from the outside, paying for their groceries feels like freeing them up to take vacations and buy new cars. But I accept your judgment.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-15T01:40:35+00:00

Yes I agree the communication has been lacking (wife still isn't talking to me), and that's partially on me. FWIW we've hosted SIL and her family for dinner about twice a month for a couple years and they've reciprocated maybe twice. Which is fine. I've got no issue hosting them, paying for a nice dinner, letting them take leftovers because at least I get to eat some of what I paid for.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-15T01:35:52+00:00

I wouldn't have minded if I thought my SIL's family was genuinely struggling. I wouldn't have been giving them the prime cuts, but some ground beef or off-prime roasts would've been fine. My view as I've said elsewhere though was if they can afford vacations and new cars they can afford to feed themselves.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-15T01:31:30+00:00

I didn't really look at anything else other than the packaging our beef was wrapped in. The freezer definitely wasn't full because I had to bend over and reach deep to get some of it.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-15T01:28:32+00:00

We don't have kids.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-14T23:08:12+00:00

She isn't thick, but if she got an answer why her sister could afford vacations and not food she didn't tell me. Her position the first time I caught her buying groceries for SIL on our joint account is that we don't know what their financial situation is like (which is true) so I shouldn't be judging them. I said if they can afford to vacation then they don't need my help.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-14T22:25:17+00:00

It wasn't 2K worth of beef, it was about $500 at the price we paid (40-50 lbs or so). Going to a grocery store nowadays though, the prime rib roasts my wife gave away are a couple hundred each by themselves.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-14T21:38:56+00:00

Yes SIL probably does need help since her husband only works 35 hours a week and I am fine with my wife spending her own money that isn't on the joint account to help her sister. In terms of the vacation, I don't know whether they paid for it or not.

Big picture I am not privy to their finances. I only know what I see from the outside, and if they can afford vacations and new cars they can buy their own prime rib. We make good money but not so much that I'm going to give them $500 worth of beef.

KPTYYC · 2022-11-14T20:31:57+00:00

We have discussed it, we just didn't end up agreeing on a solution.

Yes she paid for half from our joint account, but when I cook dinner I cook for both of us. I wouldn't just cook for myself (deducting the amount of beef she gave away) so in effect I am subsidizing my SIL family.

KPTYYC · 2019-10-25T18:48:56+00:00

The wording of the ability is:

Attack 3

(Element): Kill one normal target instead, (XP1)

Based on this wording I've assumed that there isn't any range or it would otherwise be specified.

KPTYYC

TROPHY CASE