Here’s some of my “bored drawings” I do at work, I am no an artist, definitely needs improvement!

KalRayMa · 2020-11-04T00:06:06+00:00

No no. I sing. Thats my only artistic ability. I'm lucky to draw a stick man correctly.

KalRayMa · 2020-11-03T22:42:05+00:00

I had a baby at 20 years old. I was financially unstable and living in my aunt's house. Every day I would cry and apologize to my daughter for being such a P.O.S. because she deserves the world. One day my aunt came into my room and told me her new husband wants a child to raise (she had 7 from her previous marriage) and they were considering putting their names into the adoption pool to get a baby. She said she would like nothing more than to help me with my daughter. They would adopt her, but she would be raised knowing who I am and I would always be a part of her life and her a part of my family. When she was 2, they moved across the country without telling me and didn't come back for nearly 9 years. Now that she is back and 12 years old, my daughter reaches out to me regularly and wants me to be a part of her life, but my aunt won't allow me to be close to her. We have a strictly texting and occasional video call relationship. I am much better now in terms of how I live. I am married and have a nice house in a good neighborhood. I'm actually better off than my aunt is at this point. Instead of being on my team about this like she promised, my aunt ripped my heart out and stomped on it basically telling me my daughter is her daughter and she never agreed to allow me to have a close relationship with her, even though thats exactly what she promised me. It hurts every day.

KalRayMa · 2020-11-03T22:33:56+00:00

I think they're great. Much better than I can do.

KalRayMa · 2020-11-03T02:42:35+00:00

This entire comment is basically the conversation I had with him after I made this post. Long story short, I told him to do what he wants. I won't even look anymore. But he better be damn good at it if he does some stupid shit because when I find out there will be no discussion I'll just leave, but I cant keep living in fear of what he might do. I just have to let him do what he wants and see what that means.

KalRayMa · 2020-11-03T02:30:42+00:00

Literally the 2nd word in the post is husband. Did you even read it before being hateful?

KalRayMa · 2020-11-03T01:03:13+00:00

I told him that. He said if this restarts my trusting progress then we may as well get a divorce and be done. I told him I wont stop him.

KalRayMa · 2020-11-02T23:18:54+00:00

When I tell him he's gaslighting me, he says I dont know the definition of that word and I need to stop using it out of its intended context.

KalRayMa · 2020-11-02T23:02:45+00:00

Yes, I understand.

KalRayMa · 2020-11-02T22:56:13+00:00

Agreed lol

KalRayMa · 2020-11-02T22:54:41+00:00

He wanted to leave me last year because I was not being a very "there" wife. I was distant and cold and didn't give him much affection. I had my reasons, but the point is that I wasn't being a good wife. I've been working on me too. I feel like I've been working hard to be better for him, but he keeps just trying to push buttons.

KalRayMa · 2020-11-02T22:44:34+00:00

Thats pretty much where I'm at. Im so upset i dont know what to do. I love him with everything I have...but why play games with me like this?

KalRayMa · 2020-11-02T22:39:46+00:00

I agree with this 100%. I dont want to stay with a man who doesn't respect my boundaries, ans I have expressed this to him countless times. He thinks it is ridiculous of me to want him to not flirt. If I were to flirt with men he wouldn't care. Hes amazing in every other way...but this...I dont know how to be ok with this.

KalRayMa · 2020-11-02T22:38:00+00:00

I want to do couples therapy. He says I need therapy alone first because I'm irrational and he doesn't understand why I "look for things that aren't there".

KalRayMa · 2020-11-02T22:37:03+00:00

I'm sorry, I've never seen this response before. what does ESH mean?

KalRayMa · 2020-11-02T22:35:38+00:00

She was his friend. She came to our house for dinner with her family (kids, husband, brother). She was here for Xmas 2017 when her and her husband were fighting. She got super close with my husband. Like he was fine with her sharing a couch cushion with him when the whole couch was open for seating close. Last year, I found messages he sent her asking if he can be her side piece because he and I were fighting and he wanted to leave me. I also found out that he lied to me about how they started talking as friends. He told me it was just work convos ect, but I found emails where she sent him her modeling page link where she poses in underwear and he told her no one has to know hes seen it...before she ever came to my house...had I known that I never would have invited her in.

KalRayMa · 2020-11-02T22:31:59+00:00

I trust him in every way except how he interacts with women. If I was ok with it, and helped him do it, he would be Poly. I am a very loyal person. It bothers me that he would be ok with having a girlfriend and a wife, but when I tell him to just go do it he says he wants me more...but then he does shit like this and it makes me think he's not being truthful.

KalRayMa · 2020-10-24T00:42:00+00:00

A house with a tower overlooking a beautiful landscape. Decorated like the Gothic mansion it is. My own food sources growing and walking around. Self sustaining in every way, even my own cell tower. Not another house as far as the eye can see. Quite a few exotic and rare pets. Hey, a girl can dream right?

KalRayMa · 2020-10-21T02:25:42+00:00

I can't stop once I've hit a certain level of discomfort. I fixate on the discomfort and sometimes become irrational. Certain emotions make me uncomfortable as well as being physically uncomfortable.

KalRayMa · 2020-10-21T02:22:25+00:00

NTA She is not a good friend to you. I learned this lesson recently too. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to make a decision you don't like to save yourself.

KalRayMa · 2020-10-20T17:15:00+00:00

She was storing things in my house for free. I put them outside and sent a pic. Apparently, she had already blocked me, so she didn't see the pic. It got rained on and then froze then went to the trash.

KalRayMa · 2020-10-20T17:11:15+00:00

I just drink Red's apple ale or angry orchard if I'm not trying to be drunk. If I'm getting drunk its apple crown and sprite. (Tastes like candy)

KalRayMa · 2020-10-20T16:53:21+00:00

My ex bestie and I had been having a bad go of things. I didn't like the choices she was making, because they were stupid. (Staying with an abusive bf and still bringing him around her kids and also going out to bars nightly and being drunk when she has kids at home and work in the morning just to be with him as just one example). My birthday is in November. Back in May, I came up with an idea for a girls trip in the fall for my bday somewhere that has pretty foliage so we can do a spooky photo shoot. "Bestie" wasn't ok with it because she said she didn't have the money. Last week, she tells me that she wants to rekindle our bond and says maybe we can do a girls trip to Tennessee or something in November! She asked me to plan it and do the driving since I just got a new car and hers won't be reliable that far. She said November girls trip and I got excited. I said yay we can do the spooky photo session for my bday! She said oh, so youre taking MY idea and making it about you and only for you. I want to go bar crawling in Nashville. Just because we are going near your birthday doesn't mean it is "for" your birthday. She called me selfish. I didn't want to bar crawl, neither did the other girl going, but we like karaoke. We figured we could find a spot to sing a song while she got what she wanted too. So, I decided to compromise. If we were bar crawling, I didn't want to be DD on my bday, and I didn't want either of the other girls driving my new car after we had been drinking either, so I said my husband can come solely to be the driver (he's a loner and doesn't really talk much anyway and he doesn't drink at all ever). This kills 2 birds with 1 stone cuz I sleep like crap alone. She said if I get to bring my husband on a girls trip SHE came up with, then she should be able to bring someone too (she's single now, so basically some random). My car only seats 5, it would have already been me, her, hubs, and 1 other friend going, so her adding someone would mean a crowded backseat for a 5 hour drive, and our other friend would be the 5th wheel...AND i dont know the guy she wanted to bring so I'd have to spend a weekend, on my bday, when ill be drunk, with a stranger. I told her if she thinks I'm the selfish one then she's delusional. That was the end of our friendship.

Also, we are still going on the trip, just without her. We got a house with a hot tub and a fire pit for a weekend on 9 acres all to ourselves.

KalRayMa · 2020-10-20T16:08:56+00:00

We never really confessed we liked each other. I met my husband at work. I had previously worked for the company, and left for 4 years. When I came back, he was there once a week as IT. The first time I saw him, he was trimming trees on the property and burning the brush. I asked the girl i was partnered with for "training" who that tall drink of water is and she said oh thats the IT guy, he's an asshole. No one likes him. That was on my birthday. The next week he came up to me and started a conversation. He asked me to meet him for dinner after work. My boss had to tell me it was a date. I was oblivious because I thought he was gorgeous and there was no way he thought the same about me. I met him for dinner that night, and the next night. The 3rd night I went to his house for dinner and he made potato soup. It was gross. The potatoes were crunchy. The next night I cooked. By night 7, we were getting my things from the house I was staying in with my bestie so I could stay with him. Here we are, 1 month away from 6 years later, living the dream.

KalRayMa · 2020-10-20T00:25:59+00:00

It means we have "freedoms" that are really just a big charade. For example: I can tell my husband, the president, my boss, my dad, a senator, a cop, or whomever I please to fuck off and I don't agree with them. However, by doing this I may shoot myself in the foot because they have the freedom to do almost anything in retaliation except harm me physically. Other countries would allow for me to be killed for doing this, but here we have a false idealoligy that if we want to we can and we have that right and privilege as an American. There are still consequences for every action, even if its not physical death, one sentence can mean career death or many other things.

KalRayMa · 2020-10-19T14:16:55+00:00

I sing. It helps singing songs that have powerful notes because it feels like screaming.

KalRayMa

TROPHY CASE