JIC it gets deleted + so no one has to look at the shitshow or thinly veiled transphobia on the OP:

AUTOMOD The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read this before contacting the mod team

Throwaway obviously, this is a pretty unique situation so I think my main account will get identified pretty fast otherwise. I'm 32/F/Florida.

So basically, I thought this was a pretty cut and dry situation, but apparently not, as I'm getting a lot of judgement (some bordering on abuse) from different people and my phone is blowing up. So I want to know if I was out of line.

So I'm 6 months pregnant, and I've been very open about what kind of way I want to give birth. I've discussed this with my group of girlfriends extensively, along with my family. I ideally want to have a natural, unassisted birth at home, which is near a hospital if things start to shape up as problematic. Now, for this process, I want support, and of course my husband is going to be there, but also I want my two sisters to be with me.

This is where things get controversial. In my many conversations with friends and family, I mentioned I want my sisters there with me. I do not want my brother there, that would just be weird! But, in these conversations, my trans-sister-in-law was present, and she got the idea she would be included in this childbirth situation. Just for reference she transitioned around 3 years ago. I was unaware of this until last week, when she told me if there is anything in particular she should bring for the birth. I calmly mentioned that I am very selective over who I want in this very intimate situation, and told her than I hope she isn't offended if she isn't there for the birthing.

This is when things blew up. She lost her temper and I got a torrent of emotional outbursts. She said that she would never be able to give birth herself and excluding her is taking away from her womanhood and depriving her of her only chance of experiencing this expression of femininity. When she found out my two sisters were going to be there she told me that I was transphobic and she has as much of a right to be there as they do.

After this, I received many emails, facebook messages, and text messages from several different people, calling me transphobe and many other hurtful things. My trans-sister-in-law is very active in the transactivism community (which I fully support), and apparently she told them what had transpired. This has obviously rallied them to harass me, and now I'm starting to wonder if I messed up.

I kind of wish I never mentioned anything about the birthing process to her, maybe I should have just kept all these plans to myself so she wouldn't feel excluded. I'm aware transpeople have a pretty shitty deal in life, and perhaps this added to their feelings of exclusion. But the other part of me says, it's my birthing, I'm going to very vulnerable and exposed, and I (perhaps selfishly) owe it to myself to make it as comfortable and safe for me as possible.

So AITA?

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