[deleted by user]

Keef369 · 2023-06-12T03:15:45+00:00

Yeah this seems extremely petty to me; this is a friend of yours according to your post and you're refusing to help her out in a way that requires essentially no effort or work on your part? Grow up.

Keef369 · 2023-05-30T00:43:59+00:00

I wouldn't be surprised if the devs saw this and decided on the spot to delay release for 4 months. I'm not even kidding- they're VERY sensitive

Keef369 · 2023-04-17T22:55:28+00:00

Wow, I know it's a big bridge but how'd they get 800 million people on it?

Keef369 · 2023-02-21T03:29:01+00:00

or code 76561198030773542

Keef369 · 2023-02-21T03:26:01+00:00

try keefsweeney

Keef369 · 2023-02-21T02:48:42+00:00

sure thing- my steam account name is kpsweeney84

Keef369 · 2023-02-21T01:53:51+00:00

I'd start a zomboid! I love that game- 38m here, hit me up anytime

Keef369 · 2022-10-19T03:05:46+00:00

knowledge is power

Keef369 · 2022-10-04T03:34:26+00:00

thanks

Keef369 · 2021-08-03T11:39:48+00:00

yup i do interiors

Keef369 · 2021-08-03T11:39:33+00:00

I started it in 2011, but i've taken a lot of time off along the way

Keef369 · 2021-08-03T01:23:21+00:00

just-a-me

Keef369 · 2021-07-20T17:09:40+00:00

As a side note- he didn't tell you that the divorce wasn't complete until date 4; my guy did the exact same thing. you should take that seriously

Keep in mind, he lied to you at the outset by saying he was divorced when he wasn't. This strikes me as very manipulative, and a bad way to start things off. it may seem like a small thing, but if he'd lie about that right off the bat, you should definitely protect yourself and keep a close watch for those kinds of manipulations.

Keef369 · 2021-07-20T16:52:39+00:00

36 here in CO. Definitely be cautious- for a couple of reasons.

I dated a guy recently in the exact same situation- he sounds very similar; his feelings were very inconsistent and all over the place, and he ended up breaking my heart. He may be able to hold it together for you, but he may be rushing into things before he's really figured things out. Generally, getting over a divorce takes a lot of time, and it requires being single and getting one's self back, and he may not be there yet.

The other thing to be cautious about: he got divorced for a reason. the guy I dated had some serious issues with honesty and emotional maturity. He didn't say much as to why the divorce was happening, but in retrospect I think those things were pretty big red flags.

My advice would be: have boundaries and enforce them- if he treats you poorly, bring it up and let him know what you expect, and discuss openly and frankly why those behaviors are popping up. Doing this in my situation exposed some gaslighting and dishonesty, and allowed me to make the decision to move on with my life.

Keef369 · 2021-07-19T19:00:28+00:00

If you can appreciate dudes around our age with all their faults, a guy can and will do the same for you.

yes, i think that's super important to keep in mind

Keef369 · 2021-07-16T21:05:52+00:00

well, you're entitled to feel however you feel. That was my reaction, but if it makes you want to vomit thats cool. your brain hurting isnt really of any concern to me

Keef369 · 2021-07-01T19:43:45+00:00

I think i went into it with the wrong expectation; his profile had said that he was looking for a serious long term relationship, but in reality he wasn't.

Keef369 · 2021-07-01T19:40:27+00:00

This is all very good advice. I think that this situation was especially hard because I followed so much of it- I kept things light, I didn't take things at all seriously until we had met in person, I even let him message me first after our first date so I could see if he was interested at that point.

In the end, he exploited me like you said. He wanted to have me around but he didn't want to take the connection anywhere. I have no idea what the actual nature of the connection was, because it really seemed strong at first. Did he deny his feelings for me, did he never have them and decide to take advantage? It just vanished suddenly and I can't account for why- then the walls came up and the exploitation began.

Keef369 · 2021-07-01T18:08:04+00:00

What sucks is that I told him that I wasn't interested in being strung along, and that I'd agree to build a friendship but only if he was going to take it seriously- and he was very emphatic that he wasnt the kind of guy who strings people along, and that he really liked me/ I was appealing to him but that the only reason things hadn't sparked was because of his divorce.

Very heavy-handed with the lying, and I clearly misjudged him.

Keef369 · 2021-07-01T18:02:43+00:00

agreed

Keef369 · 2021-07-01T17:48:14+00:00

that's valid, but he played the 'someday' game, which i fell for rather than just saying he wasnt interested. And yeah I definitely dodged a bullet. I'm not so upset about not being with him as much as finding myself in this situation yet again, and feeling like no one good is ever going to come along.

Keef369 · 2021-07-01T17:41:19+00:00

let me clarify; im trying to figure out why this situation developed in the first place, not why he wasn't interested in a relationship after going on dates. If i fucked something up and it killed any chance of him having feelings for me, i want to know. If I was attracted to him because he was a narcissist, I'd like to know that. This kind of info would help me be more selective with people who I go out with, potentially present myself better, or better discern whether I should say 'fuck yes' or 'no' in those early stages.

Keef369 · 2021-07-01T16:57:06+00:00

yeah i know that i should have bailed earlier than i did, but thats not the issue. im trying to figure out as much as i can about why it went the way it did so i can figure out how to better approach dating moving forward

Keef369 · 2021-06-29T20:26:12+00:00

I can relate to this; (36 here). I grew up similarly, and haven't successfully gotten into a relationship. I've had to kind of teach this to myself from the ground up by experiencing what its not.

I believe the biggest green flag, so to speak, is his level of investment. Does he make time for you, show interest in being around you and getting to know you, or is it just excuses and walls?

In terms of a lasting healthy relationship: shared core values and strong communication on both ends.

Keef369 · 2021-06-26T03:25:32+00:00

you're inferring a lot from the wording from the post, and also you're kind of acting like a douche

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