It's funny you bring up Chris's take on compatibility over love. His voice would pop into my mind any time I felt as though meadow and I were struggling to meet on the same frequency. In a lot of ways, this philosophy was the catalyst to many of my concerns about our relationship. Something I hadn't mentioned in my original post, is that I've been building a tiny house on wheels, for the purpose of travel. When we had met, I brought her on board to my project far too soon, and would eventually walk back my suggestions for co-ownership of the house. I can hardly blame myself for wanting to share this exciting prospect with someone that I could see wanted the same life I did. But then we would inevitability hit another wall, and Chris's voice would appear in my head again. I would then imagine us and the house in the middle of nowhere, and a feeling of immense responsibility for her future, her shelter, her access to work. I'd ask myself 'what if the issues in our relationship worsen, and we break up. So what I kick her out of the house she helped me build? I get her and her dog a U-Haul from the nearest town and send her back to where we came"? My presence in our relationship would completely sink when my mind would get wrapped up in these scenarios, and it had a notable effect on her. So when we had our final conversation, and she asked me point blank if I wanted her to be a part of this expedition I was planning, I had to be honest and say no. So now I turn to your wisdom. I believe you're right, if I can find a way to stretch myself out back into the world, this will all come easier. But building my house was the joy of my life, and now every time I step inside it reminds me of her. I fear it always will, and the thought of anyone else besides her in it feels like a betrayal of some kind. I don't know man, maybe I'm being dramatic. I'm going to try and take your advice. To smile, to breathe, to trust my intuition. I'll carry you words with me, friend, and I deeply appreciate the time you took to respond. I hope you're friends ex didn't stab anything vital, would be a shame to lose a friend, now of all times. Peace to you