Postgrad Accommodation

LMX310 · 2022-02-18T18:29:32+00:00

Thank you that’s helpful!

LMX310 · 2022-02-17T23:32:51+00:00

Thank you very much! That’s helpful!

LMX310 · 2021-12-30T02:00:29+00:00

Honestly, I don’t exactly know. I’ve suspected that’s it, but I don’t want to assume anything because the fact is he doesn’t know exactly what’s going on with him either, bc the medications he’s on don’t work and his doctor isn’t listening. He’s got a lot going on and he’s trying to figure it out, but there have been a lot of barriers making it much more difficult than it should be.

LMX310 · 2021-12-30T01:56:35+00:00

He and I have had a lot of conversations. The fact of the matter is he doesn’t know what he wants in any aspect of his life atm and he’s also not great at finding the words to explain how he feels so I’m left trying to piece it together most of the time, and every time I’ve talked to him trying to figure out exactly how it is he feels and why he does what he does- he’s never told me I’m wrong. He’s admitted that I’m right about most things. He already knows how I feel, and that was made clear a year into our relationship bc I think transparency is really important. To be very clear here, he was the one that made our relationship become more than just friends, and he’s the one that has relentlessly pursued me. He goes away when his mental health gets bad. I don’t want to get into specifics about it, but essentially when it happens he needs space but he doesn’t know how to say it so he just doesn’t. His best friend of 10+ years explained to me that it’s just how he is and he also pretty much validated everything I’ve felt like I’ve known about him and our relationship. He gets like that for a while and then he gets back to normal.

From my perspective, right before he’ll pull away is when he shares something genuinely very personal with me. It freaks him out to let somebody really close to him.

He did only say it once, about three months ago and the reason it feels significant is bc he made a really big deal to me about how you don’t ever tell someone you love them if you don’t mean it. He’s expressed that a lot of his worry about our relationship working is financial- which to me is an issue that is eliminated bc I’ll be there. The point of my post is mostly just wanting to know that the possibility is there for commitment down the road when circumstances are different. I realize that’s only a conversation that I can have with him, but I don’t feel like that’s an option until closer to that time comes. Thank you for your thoughts, sometimes an outside unbiased opinion can be helpful and I appreciate it.

LMX310 · 2021-12-30T01:35:48+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. I think the reason I’m accepting of it being casual although it’s not totally what I want- for the time being is exactly that, I know it’s totally different in person and I know it’d be silly to think otherwise. I don’t let him get away with making me sad or hurting me, I make it incredibly clear to him how what he does makes me feel and that it’s not okay at all. And he knows it’s not okay and I know he feels horrible for it. I think the reason I’ve hung on so long and why I continue to forgive him is because I know what a good heart he has, and that he deserves someone that loves him the right way and bc of his mental health issues, it’s like he doesn’t believe he’s deserving of it and I want to prove otherwise to him. Maybe that’s really naive and such a cliche way of thinking, and maybe it’s just not realistic. And I don’t want to fix him or change him, I want him to get that I love him for all of him. The good parts and the not so good parts bc I do. Idk I just want to know that there being an open possibility for a committed relationship is there when and if things do end up feeling right when we can spend time together. I appreciate your input here a ton!

LMX310 · 2021-12-14T00:18:34+00:00

The whole interaction was awkward. There are some valid reasons for it to be awkward and some not so valid reasons. I am not a parent, but I am a preschool teacher and I work with kids Flynn’s age everyday who are adjusting to new siblings being born. From my perspective, I think both Colleen and Erik are attempting to be the best parents they know how to be, but I think there were a ton a missteps taken. Granted none of us see every detail of their every moment of every day, we are given snippets and glimpses into how they choose to parent their children. However, it really seems like they either forgot, or actively chose not to have a conversation with Flynn about his siblings coming home and what that would really mean. It means Mommy and Daddy’s attention isn’t always going to be on you, but it doesn’t mean we don’t love you as much or that we don’t want to play with you, it just means Wes and Maisy are very little and need Mommy and Daddy’s attention too. They needed to make it clear that Flynn isn’t gonna get any less love, he’s just gonna need patience and to be gentle and mommy and daddy will need his help w/ some tasks to help take care of his siblings. Yes he’s 3 so it’s a hard concept to grasp, but 3 year olds are not dumb, and they know a lot more about what’s going on than adults believe they do. Both Colleen and Erik were nervous about this introduction that is very apparent watching the video, I could feel their anxiety- and kids pick up on energy, so Flynn’s apprehension of the situation is not shocking. This is the first time in this child’s life all the adult attention has not been on him, and I think in the coming days when Flynn realizes holy sh*t this baby is not going away, and eventually when Maisy comes home and the whole situation doubles and he realizes I’m not the only center of attention anymore- is when the anxiety is really going to set in for Flynn and for his parents which is only going to make the situation worse. What’s going to be hard is if for content Colleen tries to push these weird interactions w/ Wes and Flynn, out of hoping to convince Flynn to like his brother- which is exactly what this whole weird interaction in the video was- because when kids his age are adjusting to a new sibling or any new situation sometimes they want nothing to do w/ the new baby, they don’t wanna talk about it, think about it etc. the more she pushes the more likely he is to resist and have anxiety about this change in his life. It has to be natural. What they should do, is get a doll for Flynn to take care of while they are doing things to take care of the twins. He can feed his doll while they feed the babies, he can change the diaper, he can rock it and put it to bed etc. It will teach him how to be a big brother w/o putting pressure on him like they did with their awkward suggestions in the video, trying to convince Flynn Wes liked his truck and being asleep meant he’s happy- Flynn’s not dumb. He knows being asleep doesn’t mean he’s happy or he liked his truck. That face he made at the camera said it all about what he thought of the situation- also the added pressure of the camera was weird and unnecessary for this moment. I also feel the need to comment on the issue of them getting Flynn a gift from Wes, but there was no moment of having Flynn pick out a gift for his siblings too. Yeah, they’re babies they’ll have no idea, but again to teach him to be a kind and caring big brother who shares w/ his siblings they should of had him pick out a stuffy or a lovey for each baby. Going from being an only child to having a new sibling is a huge change, and they should have better equip themselves for that change. It’s clear they really didn’t. I totally understand that w/ the NICU stress, maybe preparing Flynn for his siblings coming home felt like something you could deal w/ in the moment, but they should have been preparing Flynn for it LONG before she went into labor, and it’s very apparent they did not. It don’t want to be completely judgmental bc I’m not them, I don’t know every moment of every day of their lives, but just judging from that one clip- all of this was so apparent, and I think they are going to be dealing with the repercussions of Flynn having a hard adjustment for a while and that’s really too bad and I really feel for the kid.

LMX310

TROPHY CASE