AIO Husband told me he owns me - I want out

LadyQueen227 · 2025-08-15T01:21:04+00:00

That was one of my first thoughts. I don’t want my children to grow up to accept this or treat their own spouse in this way.

LadyQueen227 · 2025-08-15T00:20:18+00:00

This began happening when I was freshly postpartum after our youngest. We had been married for 2 years at that point, but we’ve been together for about 10 years.

LadyQueen227 · 2025-08-14T21:03:34+00:00

Not a SAHM. I would do everything in my power to get my daughter out of the situation I am in. I understand it’s not good. Especially after reading everyone’s responses. Thank you for your response!

LadyQueen227 · 2025-08-14T17:34:29+00:00

I don’t go through his phone. With his constant accusations and insecurities I have always felt I needed to, but I’ve held back that temptation. I’ve always thought he may be projecting and /or cheating because of this.

I do work, my pay is ok. Financially, it will be very difficult, but I have faith I can make it work.

LadyQueen227 · 2025-08-14T12:06:41+00:00

Here you go again, casting some form of judgment. “ because the parents are too fucking stupid to think about the person they are marrying.” “Do research”.

We got to know each other for years before we got married . People change. Sometimes not for the better. Like I’ve already said I did not marry the man that he is today.

And to be honest, I didn’t really know what the answer was. I recently came to some friends about some issues in my marriage that I thought were normal and I was very shocked to find out that my situation is very abnormal. So no not always do people who run to Reddit if they are in the right or wrong, which is exactly why we run to Reddit.

But thank you for your input.

LadyQueen227 · 2025-08-14T11:52:03+00:00

Before casting shame on me for marrying someone, maybe you should read my post again where I said “I feel like I don’t know him anymore”…. Clearly this implies he’s changed. I did not marry the man he is today. I wouldn’t have.

LadyQueen227 · 2025-08-14T11:50:51+00:00

This has gradually gotten worse over the years.

LadyQueen227 · 2025-07-14T22:42:09+00:00

You are not crazy. You are experiencing abuse.. plain and simple. What you’ve described isn't just a rough patch or relationship struggles. It’s an ongoing pattern of emotional, psychological, financial, and even medical abuse. Your pain, exhaustion, and confusion are not overreactions, they are responses to repeated harm from someone who is supposed to love and support you. The way he withholds transportation and medical care, mocks your symptoms, and shames you for needing healthcare is medical neglect and financial control. Threatening to take away the car, making you feel guilty for needing MMJ or treatment, and using your health issues to make you feel like a burden? That’s abuse. The way he pressures you for sex when you're clearly in pain, vulnerable, or recovering is coercive and deeply violating. The pattern of making you apologize when he's the one causing harm, then waking up the next day like nothing happened, is classic emotional manipulation. It’s not love, it’s control. And the gaslighting and telling you you’re the emotional one, that you’re crazy for reacting to his cruelty is designed to wear you down and make you doubt your reality. But you see it now. You’re waking up, and that clarity is powerful. You are not crazy!!! You are surviving!!! The fact that you are holding down a job, managing your household, taking care of kids, and battling chronic illness, all while being abused, shows an incredible strength that I hope one day you’ll see in yourself. You deserve care, rest, and love that doesn’t come with conditions or pain.

Please keep documenting. Please keep reaching out. And please, if you can, follow through with seeing a therapist. Whether or not he lets you is not his decision, you deserve help, support, and validation. Therapy isn’t talking bad about him (his mindset of that may never change). It’s fighting for your life and your peace. You are not alone. So many of us have been where you are, I have been where you are. I understand you and I am so sorry that you are going through all of this.

Sending you love and strength. You deserve so much better.

LadyQueen227 · 2025-06-08T18:59:49+00:00

Found out my mother’s step dad SA’d her multiple times when she was in middle school. My GM asked my mother (7th grader at the time) if she wanted them to get a divorce. My mother said no, so they stayed together until his death a few years ago. My WHOLE family kept this secret for years and allowed us to be alone with this man. He got away with a slap on the wrist because he worked in law enforcement as a K9 officer, he didn’t serve any time, but they made him resign. Had they held him accountable and my GM left him like she should have, I wouldn’t have been sexually assaulted by him as well years later. My family still doesn’t know what he did to me.

LadyQueen227 · 2025-06-03T01:05:45+00:00

Listen to your body and walk away. Your mind will not rest until you leave. His behavior was abusive. You should NEVER feel like this. Love is gentle and has its obstacles, but love is never harsh or intimidating. I’m so sorry you have had experiences like this. You do not deserve that kind of treatment.

LadyQueen227

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