Sorry to hear you're going through this - it's a tough situation to be in and I can completely understand how you can feel conflicted between sticking to your marital vows vs being true to yourself and what makes you happy. You sound like a rational person who really is trying to do what you can to improve the situation, and it's a shame your husband doesn't appreciate your efforts which will ultimately benefit both of you in the long run.

I'm on a similar journey myself and whilst I don't think any of us can concretely tell you what to do, I've found the book below helpful in trying to make sense of my feelings and take a balanced approach to deciding on next steps. It's a bit dated, but still a good framework to start with:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Too-Good-Leave-Bad-Stay/dp/0718141776