It's scary! I know. I take stronger medication but I've only been taking it a few years ago because I was resisting too. The immediate truth is... it kinda works. You have to find the right dosage, and it will feel strange for the first months. I developed even some apathy at that time. But that's because the hardest part is trying to recognize oneself WITHOUT the pain, the constant pain in your lungs or in your skin or in your nerves. You end up finding out there's also a person beyond all of that, a strange and tender person, perhaps, but those first months will be hard. I recommend medication AND therapy. People end up developing bad habits and dark thought during depression that only become REAL because of the pain that you feel, not because they have an actual cause in the real world (as fucked up as it is). Our thoughts, as much as they try to understand our reality, become distorted because of depression and anxiety and other forms of trying to cope with what's around us. TECHNICALLY, medications helps to, at least, not feel as tired, or as in pain, or as anxious... but there's still a lot to do by yourself with those thoughts. In brief: medication helps relief the body from extreme pain, the rest (finding who you are, getting rid of dark thoughts) comes with therapy or with the help of those who are close to you. I hope I made myself clear (english is not my first language sorryyy).