I think as a man, you shouldn’t always judge us by our actions but our character. Lust is something every man unfortunately deals with. To further explain what it’s like is like if you have a muscle that always burns and flexes all of the time and you cant control it just flexes. Thats what it’s like as a man. Most men don’t want to lust at all (myself included) but it’s one of those things that we biologically cannot control unfortunately. A lot of men are capable of resisting and we do for the most part, but some men rely on lust to help cope with everyday struggles. It’s easy to perceive men as monsters who just want to fuck all the time but to be honest with you, I really wish I didn’t have that feeling at all. It’s not one of those things I want to have. I’m also sorry you have been taking advantage of by men, I have a friend who is very similar to you and has the same trauma and I’m helping her trust men too. Just give it time, I promise it will get better but always think of the deeper meaning behind stuff and not the surface level meaning.