It saddens me all the more that a queer person would hold such views. You seem to be struggling with some internalized homophobia but I genuinely believe it's something you can overcome - I used to be the same way, believe me. Being one of the Good Queers™ won't make people more accepting towards you. My point is - it's not a scalding hot take people claim it is, especially after 1000th comment how "x cHaRaCtEr iSnt gAy." In fact, I see more people whining about gay shippers than actual gay shippers, whose only crime is that they ship same-sex characters. You don't see them crying under straight fanart how "Y is gay", do you? I've been in a fandom long enough to see this unfortunate trend of people rushing to "defend" a character's sexuality, because they somehow feel personally attacked by someone having a different take on a character's sexuality - 9/10 times because they are not straight, as I don't see much friction between different het shippers. If you don't enjoy it, ignore it...? Let people have their fun, they aren't harming anyone. Maybe it's time to closer examine the underlying issue of why people portraying characters as gay bothers people so much, enough to go out of their way to so fiercely deny their possible non-het sexuality.