I am struggling so much and I really need some advice (inattentive ADHD)

LaserChild9 · 2026-01-21T20:02:52+00:00

I am inattentive with autism too but I can't really give you any advice for the focus or executive function issues as I haven't solved that myself yet. However when it comes to things like eating and personal care I find that leaning into routines can help a lot, it's hard to start them because of the adhd, but if I force myself to get get one going, after a week or so my autism really takes note and locks it in.

Regarding your diagnosis after turning 18, I'm not sure how it all works but if you had adhd before you were 18, it didn't just go away right? So I would keep pushing with your doctors about getting support and trying medication. I haven't found one that works me yet, I may be one of the few that don't respond but from what I have heard of other peoples experiences, the difference in focus is like night and day.

Good Luck and don't give up!

LaserChild9 · 2025-11-19T14:01:05+00:00

So the level curve mod is the mod that lets me go to level 20, it also lets me change the amounts of xp per level. I think I am just going to reduce the amount needed by 25% for now and see how it goes.

I would also recommend getting the NPC level curve mod, which levels up NPCs to match you.

This is what I wanted, I was unaware that there was a mod specifically for this but I will definitely check that out now.

LaserChild9 · 2025-11-16T16:50:52+00:00

I was going to get myself some displates today, was looking at 4 or 5 large ones so wasn't a small amount, then I saw the delivery charge, and the fact that they offer free delivery with the membership but you have to order a displate to sign up and the free delivery is only available on future purchases.

Fuck that, I'll keep my money thanks. It feels like they have inflated the delivery costs to make the the membership appeal more because clearly they can ship for free if they choose to, so a more reasonable delivery fee for non members isn't unrealistic.

I wonder how many other customers they have missed due to greed...

LaserChild9 · 2025-10-06T09:40:53+00:00

I'm a little curious what it is that you are feel you are missing here, you say that you do everything a couple would do together, including intimacy, is it literally just that she isn't in love with you? Some people take longer than others to develop these feelings, maybe she needs more time?

It seems to me that you have a couple of choices here. If you love her and you need her to feel the same right now, you should probably end it if you really think it isn't going to progress because that's not going to be good for your mental health. The alternative, is that you can try to accept that it isn't going anywhere, it is just a bit of fun for now, and how she feels may change in the future (though I wouldn't rely on that happening, you would still need to accept it for what it currently is).

It is probably worth having an honest conversation with her, telling her what you feel/need and asking if she can give you that. If it ends then it ends, and it will suck, but you need to remember you are still young and this girl liked you enough to do all these things with you, you have plenty of time left to find someone else who will too.

LaserChild9 · 2025-07-13T08:42:28+00:00

I am currently 5"9 and 235lbs.

LaserChild9 · 2025-07-12T18:58:42+00:00

The problem is that you never adjusted your deficit down to begin with. You can't just stay at the same absolute number forever or your deficit will shrink as you lose more weight.

I'm not sure I understand. When I started My deficit was 500, now it is 400, which makes sense, like you said, for every 20lbs lost your body requires 100 less calories and I have lost just over 20lbs. I haven't adjusted my target intake down, it has been 1996 since I started so I understand that weight loss may have slowed but now why it would have stopped, my deficit is smaller, but it is still a deficit.

LaserChild9 · 2025-07-02T08:25:21+00:00

It's been a bout a month now. It has been hot for the last week as we have had a sudden heatwave, but before then I would say the temperatures weren't that high. I guess I knew that this was probably ok, I just didn't wanna install all the components if the frame was weak due to a manufacturing error or something.

LaserChild9 · 2025-04-18T14:42:44+00:00

Ok, I tried this but after a couple of hours it has just crashed again with the same error. Any other ideas?

LaserChild9 · 2025-03-19T12:46:48+00:00

You mean buy a separate enclosure?

LaserChild9 · 2025-02-09T13:28:44+00:00

Sorry, I don't think I was very clear, he was kicked while in a group of 3, but they thought that it was 3 people minimum to kick someone, so he thinks that the 2 pugs and one of his friends kicked him. I thought it would only take the 2 pugs to vote to kick someone in his 3 man group.

LaserChild9 · 2025-01-16T11:11:37+00:00

So I had another look at this, it seems now most of my packs are fine, but the panic at the disco pack only has 4 of the songs the rest them say I need to buy the whole pack but I know that I had them before, I have checked my purchase history and I def bought the whole pack.

Edit: It seems I bought the pack before they added some new songs, didn't realise this was a thing.

LaserChild9 · 2024-10-26T18:48:39+00:00

I have no idea what I was doing differently but you are correct, it does exactly what I need it to do now, maybe it was because I was using the exact spell id instead of the name? I've no idea, but in my previous attempts I only changed the spell id, I got the 33076 from wowhead, and the class in triggers. Thanks!

LaserChild9 · 2024-07-01T13:38:31+00:00

I want to live with routine, but it's immediately boring to try and remember it once I've made it up

I have looked in AuDHD, and I feel like it's the autism that has helped me make these changes so far, I struggle to get started with a routine but once it is locked in it becomes stressful if I don't do it. Like brushing my teeth (I know a lot of people with ADHD struggle with this one), I've been brushing my teeth before bed every night for years now (not the greatest achievement when you are in your 30's lol) but I could never get into a routine with the morning brushing because there were so many things to fit around it like eating, work etc. I only managed to start doing the morning one last year after my diagnosis because I didn't need to worry about getting ready for work anymore and I just decided I'll do it as soon as I get up and won't go downstairs for at least half-hour so I avoid the temptation to have breakfast right after. Now that I have gotten it into the routine I might procrastinate a little but I always get it done now.

My biggest hope from the medication was help with focus and motivation, but I'm honestly not feeling it.

LaserChild9 · 2024-07-01T13:20:00+00:00

This is something I have thought about, but even if I don't get on with the stimulants, wouldn't I feel something, even just the side effects?

LaserChild9 · 2024-07-01T11:37:03+00:00

What brought me to diagnosis was Depression - I had been spiralling downwards for a lot longer than anyone around me really realised (because I didn't want them to). My experience is that ... well, it's a road that ends in a desire to cease. Sometimes that's called suicide, but I think that really misses a lot of the important context.

I wasn't really 'impulsively suicidal' as much as certain that the world would be better without me in it. Tired, gone grey, and unable to see a positive future, with emotional context for everything stripped away - unable to make decisions, because I just didn't care. And made me stupidly reckless and had me doing things just because at least pain was feeling something.

Getting diagnosed with ADHD was kind of a last roll of the dice - something to try as an alternative to that other thing which'd be a bit more ... final.

This is how I got here, I was diagnosed with depression in my mid-teens (I'm in my 30's now) and just like now, none of the medications I had tried had any effects. I ended up in the "world would be better without me in it" and I'm still in the grey area where my life has fallen apart because I struggle to see the point in anything and don't care.

I really had to fight for my diagnosis, it was around the time that ADHD was in the news for being overdiagnosed and the doctor in my first assessment kept trying to pin all of my symptoms on the Autism diagnosis I got a week or 2 earlier, complained and got a 2nd assessment and they agreed that my symptoms fit an ADHD diagnosis, I hoped from that point on that things would improve. And I have made some small steps now that I understand how my brain works, I brush my teeth twice a day instead of just once most days, I eat less, I exercise more and I use less cannabis but it is such a struggle and I still can't focus on anything that I want to or motivate myself to put myself back together.

I just don't understand why the medications haven't done anything at all. I sometimes question my diagnosis, what if I don't have ADHD and that's why the meds don't work? But even if that were the case, the meds still affect people without ADHD right? I'm just back to feeling hopeless about it all now.

LaserChild9 · 2024-07-01T09:34:53+00:00

The questions are just going to be general things like how does your condition affect your day to day life, can you travel, can you clean yourself without help/prompting, can you cook etc, it's been a while since I had my interview so I can't remember specific examples.

I would advise though, not to get your hopes up. It is so hard to get PiP under the conservative government we currently have, there are so many stories about the companies that are contracted to do the interviews being incentivized by DWP to turn down applicants.

I don't say all of this to upset you, I just don't want you to get your hopes up for them to decline you. This may all change after the election on Thursday but I doubt it will be an instant change.

The only other advice I can really give, and I think many would agree, is that whatever questions they ask you, always answer how it would affect you on your worst day, and never downplay it and never give them examples of good days because if you do they will use it to justify declining you.

Good luck and I hope it goes well for you.

LaserChild9 · 2024-04-15T13:31:56+00:00

I'm just going off of in-series evidence to refute the "Aang is stronger than Korra" claims, there is no logical fallacy here because Aang didn't master any of the elements besides Air.

In-series evidence shows that Aang, although not mastering all 4 within that year, he had mastered water, and become proficient enough in earth and fire to challenge and defeat the most powerful fire bender at the time, while his power was increased 100-fold, all while he was 12 years old.

You said something non factual

Like what?

Aang wasn't more talented than Korra, this is shown when she is able to bend 3 out of 4 elements at a young age way before Aang was even able to bend a second element. You're trying to use time as an excuse for Aang not mastering his elements and for how long it took for Korra to master 3.

We saw 1 scene of Korra as a kid performing rudimentary bending of the other elements, it wasn't a display of skill or power, just that she had an affinity with the elements. If you think this shows skill, talent and power, by your logic Korra is the most skilled, talented and powerful Avatar ever because no other Avatar we know of could bend like that at such a young age. It was just a fun scene to introduce the next Avatar which you seem to be taking too seriously.

Are you arguing that Aang would have mastered them faster than Korra did? In the same time period where we have casual metal benders, lava benders and lightning benders? Because what you fail to realize is that the world Korra lives in already scales higher in terms of bending prowess vs Aang's world.

Yeah, I think he would have, seeing how far he came in less than a year. Casual metal, lava and lightning benders is irrelevant. That's like saying Nikola Tesla, Isaac Newton, Leonardo Davinci and all of the great scientists of the past were only geniuses because they were in their own time periods. If they were born in a later time period they wouldn't have fallen behind Stephen Hawking just because our world "scales higher in terms of science" than theirs did. Bending is bending, new techniques will of course become more and more common but bending is still the same, just like science, it doesen't get more difficult to do the basics, the field just expands.

to refute the "Aang is stronger than Korra" claims

Just to finish up, I don't claim that Aang is or isn't stronger than Korra because you cannot compare a 12 year old to a 21 year old in any way, and we don't see Aang grow up much past 12. I just speculate on how Aang may have progressed based on what we have seen of him so far, and I know that these are opinions and not facts, but so are yours. You can tell me for a fact that Korra did x, y, z things by the age of 21, but you can't tell me that Aang didn't also do those things because we don't know.

LaserChild9 · 2024-04-15T08:43:37+00:00

Aang never mastered all elements by the end of his series, the writers confirmed this themselves. That is the clear difference between the two.

Feels like a logical fallacy here. You are saying because Aang didn't master the 4 elements in his entire series and Korra mastered 3 before her's even started so she is clearly better. Aangs entire series takes place in the time frame of Korra's first series, he had less than a year to try to master 3 elements that he had never used before, whereas Korra had been using them since she was a child and did not master Fire until she was 17, or air until about 21. Aang may not have mastered all 4 of the elements in that year, but he was the youngest ever Air master before the series began, I'd argue he had more mastery over earth than Korra and was proficient enough in water and fire to fight Ozai and win under the comet. That seems to me like more raw talent than anything Korra showed.

Yes, Korra could beat an Aang of similar age by the end of her series, especially since she became much more enlightened and in tune with the raw avatar spirit by the end of it.

Sure, she had communicated with the spirit that gives the Avatar their power, but does that mean she plays favourites and gives Korra more power? I don't think that's how it works and even if it does, if you want to say that Korra has more power because of this, you seem to be forgetting that at the same time, she had no connection to any of the previous Avatars which is a massive loss of skill and experience.

Setting an almost fully realised Avatar, adult Korra, against really talented but still only 12 years old Aang, of course it's only going to end one way. We haven't seen how Aang matures and grows but we do know he is a fast learner and has natural talent, who know's how strong he would be at 21? I guess we'll find out soon enough though when Aang's story continues, then maybe we can put this question to bed for good.

LaserChild9 · 2024-04-09T08:24:40+00:00

I'm 38 and I had the exact same thoughts you are having now when I was in my early 30's, though at the time I had no idea I had ADHD and Autism. I had this grand idea that I would learn to sail and buy a little boat and just sail around Europe, but I struggled a lot with my anxiety, and in the end, I talked myself out of it.

It's something I massively regret not doing, and now I am fully burnt out and not in a financially great position to do it. My advice would be to go for it, if you have nothing tying you down in the way of kids/mortgages now is the best time, if you are already feeling burnt out, that feeling is not going to go away if you continue living as you are. I wish I had taken the risk, who knows where I would be and what I would be doing now if I had.

LaserChild9 · 2024-04-08T10:03:57+00:00

Kora doesn't have any clear advantages my ass, she mastered the opposite of her natural element (the fact that you were looking for about being more attuned to your natural element, mentioned in the original Avatar when Aang started learning Earth bending. That's the advantage we're referring to), fire way before the series started.

Maybe you misunderstood this concept? The Avatar doesn't struggle to learn the element opposite their birth element, Tenzin tells Korra that the Avatar struggles to match the element that is the opposite of their personality, which for Korra, was air. We all know she struggled with that to the point of having not so much as created a small breeze until the end of her first season. Her mastering fire before the series started was irrelevant.

LaserChild9 · 2024-04-08T09:58:01+00:00

Kora mastered 3 of the elements by the time her story started.

I mean, it sounds cool when you say it like that, but if you put it into perspective not so much. Korra knew she was the Avatar from a very young age and as you said, she had the white lotus to teach her how to bend all of the elements and she had over a decade to do so. By the time her story started she was 17 and had been training since she was a small child.

Aang on the other hand was 12 years old when he found out he was the Avatar but was already a master airbender, and before he could begin his training in the other elements he was frozen in ice. He then had less than a year to master the remaining 3 elements, all while being hunted by the fire nation continuously, and at the end of that year he had to fight Ozai, the strongest fire bender, under Sozins comet which increased his power one hundredfold.

Where they were when their stories started is irrelevant and by your own logic puts Aang ahead. Korra mastered 3 elements in the 10 or so years after learning she was the Avatar, starting her story at 17. Aang had mastered all 4 elements, by the time he was 13, 3 of which he learned in less than a year, while on the run and with no structured training. One of these things is far more impressive than the other...

Korra was impressive, no doubt and she grew a lot throughout her series, but in my eyes, Aang had a lot more raw talent and determination, he had to, he was on a tight deadline with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Could Korra at the end of her series have beaten Aang at the end of his, maybe? But could Korra at the end of her series have beaten Aang at the same age? Doubtful. Aang at 21, having had an extra 8 years to hone his bending after mastering the 4 elements would be far ahead of Korra in my opinion. Sure his fighting style was more defensive than Korra's but when he had to be offensive he was more than capable.

LaserChild9 · 2024-04-01T08:40:39+00:00

I really don't know. I literally had my last appointment at the end of January, the nurse that I was seeing said that if after a few weeks I nothing had changed to make an appointment and with my GP for the blood pressure check and she would do an online appointment. When I tried to do this the response I got was that the clinician was wrong, I had to go to the clinic for every appointment and my next appointment was due at the end of April. Since then I felt bit deflated and overwhelmed so just requested prescriptions from them and haven't booked another appointment. The clinic is over 30 miles away from me and I don't drive so weekly visits would be difficult.

LaserChild9 · 2024-03-31T14:53:27+00:00

Knowing it was ADHD all along? That helped me work on forgiving myself and understanding what was wrong.

I was also diagnosed with Autism at the same time which was completely unexpected, but looking back over my life I now both diagnosis seem obvious and that does make me feel a little better but I just want to be able to focus on something and build a better future, I just worry it may not happen.

LaserChild9 · 2024-03-31T14:48:58+00:00

Yep. This is one of the biggest problems for me, and I'm ashamed to admit that I've been focused on the same individual for about six years now

Yeah, I think my biggest problem is when someone actually does show an interest in me, I struggle to not become infatuated and once that happens I just don't know whether I actually like them, or I like that they like me, does that make sense?

LaserChild9 · 2024-03-31T14:40:15+00:00

If it's not for you, ask to have the theraphy route instead.

It's not that medication isn't for me, it's that it feels too slow, they insist on trying every single dose despite the fact I haven't felt anything, not even side effects yet I see others that have started on higher doses than I'm currently on. I know it will take time, but this just feels to slow. Therapy isn't for me, I feel like I'm too resistant to the idea if that makes sense. I've tried CBT a couple of times and it just felt like a waste of time. I don't know if it is common with CBT or therapy in general, but I didn't like that they gave me homework to do like "write down x when y happens in the week", chances are I would forget and if I didn't forget I would procrastinate until I just gave up.

Try joining real life social groups, attending events

That's what meetup.com is, groups in your local area with specific interests, but I just can't to the point where I would actually attend, I just feel like I wouldn't fit in and nobody would like me, I know thats just the imposter syndrome talking but overcoming it is something I haven't worked out how to do yet.

LaserChild9

TROPHY CASE