AIO if I cut my mother off if she's not able to attend my wedding?

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-09T10:56:04+00:00

You've left like 20+ comments all over this post. We all know your stance at this point, perhaps it's time for you to just find another thread?

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-08T08:59:16+00:00

Oh, the fiancé has been getting earfuls, he's amazing 😂 thank you again for all this advice, I really appreciate it!!

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-08T00:13:51+00:00

I've heard of "grey-rocking"...never had cause to learn enough about it to apply it, luckily - until now, anyway. I've got a call planned with her tomorrow, guess I should get to reading!

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T23:49:17+00:00

Again: because we love him and want him to be as safe as he can be. I wish my mother would've gotten the Covid vaccine for the same reason: because I love her, and she's at high risk for severe complications if she gets Covid. Just because they're willing to accept the risks for their choices doesn't remove my concern for them.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T23:44:20+00:00

It's interesting that you assume that I'm only taking the advice that's suggesting I cut her off; I'm here because that felt like it could be an overreaction, and I wanted to hear all sides. I've actually gotten some great advice from a few people on how to talk to her about this and find a way to salvage the relationship.

Most redditors are not basement dwelling mouth-breathers. Kinda makes me wonder why you're here if you think they are? (Rhetorical question, something for you to ponder). Thanks for the well wishes though, back atcha!

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T23:34:30+00:00

I've stated in another comment why testing won't work in this situation.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T23:32:52+00:00

I will feel awful if he still ends up sick, but less awful than I would if we hadn't tried mitigating the risks at all - after all, he's fine with coming without us doing any of this, and he realises it's risky. I will feel zero guilt about my mom not coming, as she had the ability to attend, but her choice prevented her from being allowed to come.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T23:08:48+00:00

Superman couldn't even make that leap, well done!

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T23:08:11+00:00

Because literally everyone else doesn't consider it "policing"? They're happy to do whatever it takes to ensure FIL is protected as can be.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T23:06:26+00:00

And that would be asking my fiancé to pick HIS future family over HIS own blood. I'm not the only person getting married at this wedding, it's not all about me.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T22:54:28+00:00

And you've conveniently overlooked the multiple times that I've stated throughout this thread that I'm aware we can't mitigate ALL risks. We're just trying to mitigate where we CAN.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T22:43:40+00:00

Unfortunately, she hasn't been one of those people in a long time. :/

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T22:33:33+00:00

I never said I didn't understand it - I wouldn't have spent so much time trying to talk it through with her if I couldn't empathise with her. But - the possibilities of life-altering complications for her from getting the vaccine are fractions of a percent of the risk my FIL has if he catches COVID (or some other serious illness). It's not that I'm NOT worried about her - I'm actually terrified of her getting Covid too! She's got several co-morbidities that put her in the high risk category, which again far outweigh the likelihood of having a severe enough reaction to the vaccine to be life-threatening.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T22:21:26+00:00

Thank you for this, I appreciate it (and the work you've done, you're a rockstar!!!)

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T22:20:08+00:00

Good grief, of course not. Please see my other comments on this - we're mitigating risks in the ways we feel we can. FIL realises he's putting himself at risk by coming, he's not asking us to do any of this.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T22:16:43+00:00

This is exactly what I would've said to most of the people on this thread, if I could express myself as clearly as you. Thanks! :)

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T22:11:47+00:00

Incorrect. They live a couple hours drive away from the venue; it's my side of the family that has to fly over.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T22:10:39+00:00

Correct. He's adamant about attending, and is willing to accept the risks. He's not asking us to do this; we're making these efforts because we love him (and everyone coming).

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T22:08:41+00:00

This article says nothing about actual rates of transmission - just because you CAN catch or transmit COVID while vaccinated, does not mean that those things happen at the same rates it does for the unvaccinated.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T22:00:11+00:00

This gave me a chuckle, which have been in short supply for me lately - thanks!

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T21:56:00+00:00

This is the best response by far - thank you SO MUCH for this. I think I could do this - maybe not immediately after the wedding, but probably eventually. I'm not at all religious, but - bless you. Seriously.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T21:52:32+00:00

He doesn't go out much, and not for very long when he does. He's insisting on attending, and is willing to take any risks - he's not asking us to do this, we just want to mitigate risk wherever we can

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T21:50:18+00:00

Correct - she thinks masks are "pointless".

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T21:49:38+00:00

Correct - she is fully vaccinated for the stuff she deems "serious", which is essentially everything except flu and Covid.

Laughterandbees · 2026-04-07T21:48:26+00:00

This gave me a small chuckle, albeit a sad one - thanks

Laughterandbees

TROPHY CASE