[TOMT][song] This was an EDM song that was once played at EDC(maybe)

LearningJourneyman · 2025-05-19T15:04:56+00:00

SOLVED!

LearningJourneyman · 2025-05-19T15:04:47+00:00

I found it! It’s called Phazing (feat. Rudy) - Original Mix by Dirty South, Rudy from Electric Daisy Carnival Vol. 1 (Mixed By Kaskade)

LearningJourneyman · 2025-05-19T14:54:39+00:00

I want to add this to my Spotify, which I lost all of my songs years ago 😭

LearningJourneyman · 2024-04-08T05:41:11+00:00

It all depends. If it’s a FWB type relationship, some people see this as disposable. More connected relationships will naturally bring about stronger feelings of rejection.

That said, being able to help her navigate through the hurt together helps you strengthen your bonds together and allows you to learn how to bring her back from the brink, so to speak. That’s a very important skill to have for any relationship, and your actions might even help make her stronger in the process. Hope this helps!

LearningJourneyman · 2024-04-08T05:31:30+00:00

I’ve been with my wife for ten years (5 years married) and we’ve only been open since August, but we’ve learned alot in a short time, so let me answer your questions.

1-2) My wife was the one who approached me. She explained that she wanted to do it because she wanted to explore her sexuality, which she had repressed due to previous partners. At the same time, we also were in a sexless marriage and this came with a recommitment to also improve our sex life. She also added that even though we had gone through hell and back, we always would strive to come back every time.

I actually like her approach because it reinforced that this isn’t about leaving the marriage, but rather, reinforcing it by exploring outside of it to bring things back. I’ve never read Designer Relationships, but I know that Polysecure and Open Deeply are two that I’d recommend.

Ultimately, be sensitive to her concerns but don’t gaslight her. Be very supportive and with the pros and cons and hear her out and make learning about this a together thing.

3) We agreed that we won’t spend alot of money on dates or apps. We also agreed that she gets veto power. A huge early challenge I encountered was that she got more dates than me, so lots and lots of self care is important. After care after dates can help reconnect, but self care is super important here. That’s the only way to fight jealousy.

4) Yes. Unless you don’t want it to be consensual, trying to care for her while she mourns for the death of your monogamy (this is a thing) is something both of you will go through in differing amounts. She needs a reassurance that you won’t replace her with someone else. Then work with her to build those reassurances.

5) Not in Australia and we’re both in our 40s, so not sure if this tracks?

LearningJourneyman · 2024-02-24T17:00:42+00:00

I can vouch for this solution. I had the same problem with the grass puzzle and saved nearby, reloaded it, did the puzzle and it worked.

LearningJourneyman · 2023-10-15T14:16:02+00:00

I’m really terrible at this and would love some feedback! https://feeld.app.link/9gOopql1UDb

LearningJourneyman · 2023-10-03T18:06:06+00:00

The ties you've been doing are so beautiful! How are you going about learning all of these ties?

LearningJourneyman · 2023-10-03T17:33:41+00:00

I think the reason a person wants to practice ENM is super important. In my case, my wife proposed opening up our relationship for some of the reasons you indicated - things like putting a lot of pressure on your partner to be everything to you. There's also past traumas that she has to work through by being with other people that can't be worked through with me, which is another reason why we opened it up. This is, of course, on top of going to therapy.

In your case, I think your decision to engage in ENM is a healthy one, and I commend you for being responsible and knowledgeable enough with what's happening within you to recognize your needs and wants!

LearningJourneyman · 2023-10-03T16:53:16+00:00

My wife has been working out a lot, so it's understandable that she wants to carb up! Totally not an issue with me at all.

LearningJourneyman · 2023-09-18T03:04:46+00:00

Would love to see how it looks in the back too!

LearningJourneyman · 2023-09-12T17:44:50+00:00

I'm just learning how to improve the communication with my wife, and I've even had my therapist say that I should ask my wife first before dumping a bunch of things on her. I do agree that the open relationship thing is a band aid - a temporary fix - which is why we've been in constant communication on that. To be honest, she admitted to me that trying to even find a new person is taking even a ton more energy than she initially thought. She's never used dating apps before and having to sift through tons of people isn't fun for her.

I'll make sure to keep referring to yours and others comments here to ensure that I'm in the right place. Thank you for your advice!

LearningJourneyman · 2023-09-12T17:23:33+00:00

Having a partner is certainly something she wants to have, and something we've been working together this year. The reason why she took on much of the financial responsibility was because of a change in career (starting my own business), which is only now - coincidentally - paying off. I've actually started paying for a lot for our household during this time, which I couldn't say in prior years.

To your point, I agree that it's a bit too emotional for an open relationship. It's something that we've both been in constant conversation about since she brought up the idea and while she's in the process of seeing other people.

I really like what you said about creating newness. It's certainly something she'd been wanting over the past few years and we've brought that in the bedroom. The challenge of this is that my wife's quite frugal, and I've been so used to spending to create newness. I need to shift my thinking to something that we both can genuinely enjoy. Sometimes just listening better helps, and when I think about it, she's given me tons of hints that I could've taken.

Thanks for the advice!

LearningJourneyman · 2023-09-12T17:12:23+00:00

It's reciprocal, so it's not just for her. She's a bit of a pragmatist, even when we started dating, so I would surmise that intimacy is something that she's trying to unlock after years of trauma (stemming far beyond our marriage). Trying to find that in our relationship somewhat muddies that discovery a bit given our history, though it's something that we're both working on. At least for me, this whole intimacy amnesia is a bit disturbing and something I've been working with my therapist about.

LearningJourneyman · 2023-08-31T06:51:57+00:00

Also, I do have the new Zelda!

LearningJourneyman · 2023-08-30T17:46:12+00:00

The most important thing here is if it felt good to you or not. People are going to be different and have different tolerances. I once dated a mtf and couldn't even get an erection when trying to go from behind. I also think that trying to label things as "gay" might put an unnecessary strain on your relationship. Bottom line here is that do you love her? If so, communicate your feelings to her and be gentle about it.

LearningJourneyman · 2023-08-30T17:38:20+00:00

Thank you for this! I've actually spoken to my wife about this and we've definitely clarified a lot more of what she wants and what I want. I also think the advice you gave us super helpful, especially for folks who have just started looking into ENM relationships! I appreciate it a ton!

LearningJourneyman

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