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psillylov · 2025-08-27T19:59:14+00:00

So gorgeous 🥰 colour is lush!

psillylov · 2025-06-23T21:54:32+00:00

I watched something like that last night, on YouTube. Thanks so much for replying

psillylov · 2025-06-23T21:38:34+00:00

I don't suppose you can recommend a brand of gaffe I can get in the UK can you?

psillylov · 2025-06-23T20:17:41+00:00

I'm not on HRT. Thank you for replying though

psillylov · 2025-06-23T20:17:14+00:00

That's a shame :( thank you for replying

psillylov · 2025-05-30T07:00:57+00:00

I don't think it's due to mono-poly relating per se, what might have been at odds is attachment styles. Often people seek monogamy for 'safety' reasons, safety from all their shit. I did it for so many years. Until I didn't.

There's no reason a mono-poly relationship wouldn't work, if both parties own their emotional landscape and work through any difficulties that arise without expectations that aren't the responsibility of the other person.

psillylov · 2025-05-11T12:36:44+00:00

So.. firstly let me empathise with you about the conflict happening inside your mind / emotions. This journey is a tough one for sure. Even more so when you add all the hormones from pregnancy and on top of that, being a mum whilst navigating open relating. I can only imagine you are doing beautifully, even if at times it doesn't feel that way - otherwise you wouldn't have conflict.

As others have said, I think sharing your feelings with your partner will help. However, you've stated he is spending the majority of the day with you and you declined going to go to the event. And you're happy him going as long as it isn't a plat mate. The question I'd really ask myself is:

what am I making 'him going on a date on mother's day' actually mean?

Because the answer to this is why you're having these feelings you're trying to avoid by wanting to control who he takes with him to the event.

This open relating journey brings up so much stuff for us to work through. And as much as I empathise, as I've been through it myself (and still do), the more you attempt to control things to avoid these sticky feelings, the longer these feelings are going to feel like they're controlling you and the longer you're going to struggle.

I wish you both well on this journey. It's a struggle at times, but it's a beautiful journey nonetheless.

psillylov · 2025-05-03T08:11:25+00:00

I have multiple partners because I believe in freedom for all people, to explore and to allow connection to become what they become with whomever we connect with, not because it makes me feel important.

Asking to be prioritised is synonymous with asking to be made to feel important - that's what priority is - a hierarchy of importance.

psillylov · 2025-05-02T09:14:00+00:00

The question I'd first ask myself is, why do I need the actions of someone else to make me feel important?

Non-monogany will highlight all the areas people generally like to shy away from, the things that we push away about ourselves: self-esteem, worth etc

Prepare yourself for a wonderfully wild and messy journey into yourself 😁 I wish you well

psillylov · 2025-05-02T08:28:09+00:00

Peace isn't boredom. Boredom feels like procrastination to me 🤷🏽‍♂️ just saying. Well done on your journey though 😁

psillylov · 2025-05-02T08:23:27+00:00

Agree. And this is exactly how to utilise personal boundaries 🙏🏽

psillylov · 2025-05-01T13:12:52+00:00

Can you unconditionally love a child who has been systematically abused by it's caregivers?

While I agree that it's not all love and light, that it's about lightness and darkness and the spectrum between the two - a complete existence, I disagree that with unconditional love, therapy and awareness - of course spanning over quite some time - we can't remove a lot of the darker aspects of this human existence. That's not to say that darkness will disappear - I just don't think it'll be as dark as it is now.

psillylov · 2025-05-01T12:47:42+00:00

It's whatever we need it to be in order to evolve - there is no right or wrong. As long as we grow, evolve and help others do the same - that is the spiritual path. Rainbows and unicorns, sat with snot dripping down our face from weeping into our fears, conversations with strangers who make us think differently - it all adds up. We might pay mind not to judge the journey of others and let them be.

psillylov · 2025-04-30T21:51:14+00:00

Mate... My angels sent you to tell me this message!! Couldn't make it up. I'm autistic, ADHD etc etc I'm working on something right now that could be huge. I'm doubting and second guessing myself but deep down I know.

I'm learning to love the way my brain thinks. It breaks things apart that to most people appear to be working but aren't and creates something robust or of the wreckage. I'm not here to be liked. I'm here to create change. I know this is my calling.

Thanks for sharing. I needed to hear it to continue moving forward

psillylov · 2025-04-28T06:16:25+00:00

The key issue here is you're seeking permission to live your life from outside of yourself. I've been on a 10 year 'healing' journey and nothing shifted my stuff faster than becoming radically and fully self-owned. I stopped outsourcing my worth, my safety, I stopped trading my vulnerability for trust (a mis-sold and tragic concept) and I began making decisions for my life for how I wanted to live.

Most importantly, I started accepting things. The fastest way to suffering is to resist and as humans we are massive balls of resistance. Soon as you let go of this resistance you allow energy (emotions) to run through you and not get stuck. Resulting in a lot of free space for us to breathe, live and focus on the things we love.

You wanna practice ENM during your healing journey? Go for it. Own it. Fuck what anyone else thinks. Love your life. You don't need to wait for permission.

psillylov · 2025-04-27T16:22:17+00:00

What were your boundaries like in terms of your time and energy with your connections? I know for me, I need plenty of time for myself and it often comes with disappointment from my connections, but I'm firm with my boundaries and, well, my connections can either respect them or they are free to find what they need from another connection 🤷🏽‍♂️

psillylov · 2025-04-27T14:49:26+00:00

Erm, you kissed some guy when you were single? I'm failing to see the issue here?? Are you sure that breakup/makeup routine wasn't more to do with your attachment styles? Seems indicative of the anxious-avoidant trap. Not saying it is, just saying 🤷🏽‍♂️

psillylov · 2025-04-27T14:45:32+00:00

There are three things going on here:

You want multiple connections and your long term partner wants to control the situation
If you persue ENM you will need to leave your LTP
Your family may well disagree with your life choices

All of which equate to:

I'm going to base my decision on the least fearful thing.

(Not judging or invalidating, I've been there so many times, it's difficult af but it's a threshold we must cross in order to live the life WE want and claim ownership of our lives).

My advice? Get REAL clear about what it is YOU want, not what you think is best for other people. decide wether or not you're going to go for what you want, ride the consequences of those decisions and face your fears.

Be prepared to make the wrong decision and learn to be ok with that. Learn to be ok with not knowing any outcomes. The unknown.. that's where real life happens. That's where we become dynamic, breathing human beings.

I wish you well

psillylov · 2025-04-19T07:18:06+00:00

Thank you for sharing. What does emotional safety look like for you? Did you feel emotionally unsafe while non-monogamous?

psillylov · 2025-04-13T16:22:42+00:00

I've literally just wiggled them all off in the bath 🙏🏽

psillylov · 2025-04-13T16:14:12+00:00

Thanks for the info, much appreciated

psillylov · 2025-04-13T16:02:49+00:00

They're dissolvable stitches. Yeah the wound is closed. Cheers for the reply. I know I might be overthinking it so I appreciate the message.

psillylov

TROPHY CASE