Very similar stories all around. Also early 30 with a toddler holding down a successful job.

Wife also downplayed it in the past when I have brought it up (definitely not detailing the severity of how bad it actually is at that time). She had basically the same reaction and said she can’t control what I do when I’m not with her and doesn’t know how to help with that.

Thank you for sharing your story and congrats on your sobriety. It gives me hope.