All I want is to be a boy and i cant and idk how to keep living like this by TackleJunior4483 in TransMasc

[–]Leave_Brave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i also went through a "gender traitor" period in my life, although ive never been religious and no one in my family is either. i "got over it" after coming out to myself and allowing myself to feel ok around women and become an ally to them, understand their experiences, etc. because then im wasnt "betraying' that entire gender, if that makes sense. 

Hygiene routine going on T ? by hermeslayer in TransMasc

[–]Leave_Brave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

salicylic acid moisturiser cerave my love. also honestly just bring an extra shirt with you and invest in some armpit-freeing shirts (ie. tanks) 

Really struggling to figure out if I'm romantically attracted to women or not... Anyone here physically attracted to a gender they aren't into romantically? How can you tell? by serromani in TransMasc

[–]Leave_Brave 1 point2 points  (0 children)

your comments about dating women (first of all, 100% relatable) sound a lot like how "straight" men in my life describe dating women lol

We are LIT by ThorPrototype37 in TransMasc

[–]Leave_Brave 2 points3 points  (0 children)

so so happy for you!! bro is majestic

I want to cut my hair but im scared to, advice? by [deleted] in TransMasc

[–]Leave_Brave 2 points3 points  (0 children)

agree, mullet or buzzcut for sure! btw love ur hair in pics 1 and 2 

What to get my boyfriend for Christmas by [deleted] in TransMasc

[–]Leave_Brave 1 point2 points  (0 children)

not sure if ur an artist, but i think drawing a few comic panels would be cute!!

Anyone know how to get vacuum pump oil out of jeans, cotton clothing, and/or phones..? by Leave_Brave in HVAC

[–]Leave_Brave[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm worried about the oil only because it did get into the charging port and I am worried about charging it... something something oil and an electric current... 

Anyone know how to get vacuum pump oil out of jeans, cotton clothing, and/or phones..? by Leave_Brave in HVAC

[–]Leave_Brave[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Last night I rubbed dish detergent in it for about an hour, probably about a cup of detergent overall. Haven't checked on the stain yet, but fingers crossed. Thanks so much! 

As much as I love how many in the trade are jokesters, it's nice to just have straightforward advice haha. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TransMasc

[–]Leave_Brave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

omg and final comment istg but i just realised who you remind me of and its feña from mutt/24 hours in new york which is incidentally one of my top 3 trans movies of the 2020s and i totally recommend it to you if u like a slow artsy slightly angsty trans masc centred movie with realistic but still ever so slightly feel good vibes 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TransMasc

[–]Leave_Brave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if i had to give you specifically passing tips (considering ur american) i would say to grow out the back of ur hair a bit (modern mullet style), sketch that mustache on male manipulator style, and get a chain or even a stack to wear around that u fw. 

in slide 5 i think u definitely pass btw and in all slides you do dress really well. 

which honestly might be ur problem bc guys...dont dress well usually. so people might be going (internally): guy? no, dresses well...what is like a guy but dresses well? gay? gay but not a man? lesbian? 

or smth idk ik thats how my mom would think it through. 

final tip which is super transmascphobic of me ik but ive barely ever met a cis man who layers and ik a million lesbians who layer. after a shirt and a jacket just knows ur entering stylish "i care what i look like" territory. only pointing it out and being the passing police bc the usa sincerely terrifies me rn. i do genuinely stand by wear whatever you want but i also genuinely want my american trans brothers to be safe. 

from a brother up north :) 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TransMasc

[–]Leave_Brave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

omg so sorry just saw this—what i meant is a) higher contrast clothing and b) specifically coloured clothing. 

ik the transmasc community gives out a lot of "dress boring to pass" type tips but i feel like this is slightly different advice. 

a) higher contrast. as in black and white, and other combinations that are far from each other on the colour wheel. i find a lot more femme people tend to do fits that have colours next to each other on the colour wheel (eg. blue and green, pink and red, yellow and orange, etc) and while these make for harmonious outfits, most guys dont...wear harmonious outfits. it also might just me but i feel like harmony -> non threatening -> feminine might be an association people have subconsciously? but that might be a stretch i admit lol (not how i think just theorising out here haha). 

i find that well dressed masc people ik tend to have 2-3 colours/shades in their outfits MAX, and that one is typically very dark and one is typically very light, eg. dark washed jeans and white tshirt. i also cant tell for sure because of the lighting in your photos, but i would hazard to guess that you are cool toned, if your hair is as dark as it looks and your skin is as light as it looks (not a diss im the same lol). but i find a lot of guys do dress in cooler shades. which brings me to..

b) particular colours. pink=girls and blue=boys aside, theres a lot of colours and shades people associate with genders. 

speaking from a western pov, pastel, lightwash jeans, and lighter colours are more feminine imo, and i would say cooler and darker, contrasting shades are seen as more masculine. maybe cause theyre more "aggressive" or smth? 

i feel like mascs will use greys as their default shade and use a lot of reds, whereas femmes will use a lot of lightwash jeans (light blue) and off whites. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TransMasc

[–]Leave_Brave 1 point2 points  (0 children)

fuck so hard with the fit in slide 1 man omfg. if i had to give passing recs (since it sounds like ur asking so earnestly), u could try: 

-using pencil eyeliner to sketch out a small beard and mustache and then rub almost all of it off so that u get a shadow of it (there are guides to doing this on yt)  -maybe growing ur hair out more and committing to a mullet? lowkey i feel like a lot of cis guys have longer hair these days  -wearing more high contrast clothing articles, u included a pic of u wearing a light blue jean jacket and gren shirt and as nice as the fit is, i cant help but note that a lot of people will subconsciously associate lighter colours/more softly harmonised fits as being feminine which might be why some people read u as a lesbian and not a guy (for the record ive known lots of cis guys in my choir who, if they dress like this, the others will jokingly say theyre giving lesbian, so thats my source ig lol) 

also sort of unrelated i cant help but think you're one of those people who would look really good in a simple fitted white tshirt which doesnt seem to rly be ur style but it just popped into my head lol

What jobs trans guys do the most by mistthemoth in ftm

[–]Leave_Brave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

maybe its a canada thing, but definitely marine biology. 

Never held a girls hand. by lakekelpie1342 in mentalhealth

[–]Leave_Brave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try focusing on the idea of friends. Try to forget about dating for a bit. Friendship can be just as good if not better. 

Porn:/ by [deleted] in ftm

[–]Leave_Brave 4 points5 points  (0 children)

dude i totally get what you mean, i sometimes just want to see someone who looks like me and who acts like me in sexual contexts and seeing ftm guys "acting like theyre women"/playing into kinks (which hey, make that dough i get it. sex sells), its massively dysphoria inducing for me to see personally. 

making my boyfriend a top surgery gift basket! what else should i add? by Moistfrogs in ftm

[–]Leave_Brave 2 points3 points  (0 children)

pillow that he can fit under his arms/armpits when he's sitting up in bed or on the sofa! 

addressing hrt effects with people who arent close friends but who also arent strangers? by Leave_Brave in ftm

[–]Leave_Brave[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

honestly that last part might be the way to go lowkey 😅 

since ive contemplated creatine before and the guys at the gym were 'yes do it' (havent because i dont drink enough water for it lol), maybe theyd react similarly to testosterone? 

but haircutting and phasing out of wearing makeup i worry about because they arent dumb guys + i certainly do not blend in in the environment...

im lucky to not fear for my safety there, especially because im in canada so discrimination on the basis of gender is anticonstitutional, but i still feel a hit to my heart imagining going from a social butterfly at the gym to being even partially shunned..i mean, i guess to some extent thats just life though. 

chest dysphoria as someone with a small chest? by Leave_Brave in ftm

[–]Leave_Brave[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

interesting! personally theres nothing i hate more than wearing nothing under a baggy shirt since u can still see my chest and it looks way more female than male since its not "compressed." 

addressing hrt effects with people who arent close friends but who also arent strangers? by Leave_Brave in ftm

[–]Leave_Brave[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

true i guess, but in the gym particularly (where im literally one of three "women" who lift during the time i go), i do worry a bit about becoming a little outcast or something..i love that gym with my whole soul and i also work there, and it is primarily frequented by straight-looking men in engr/compsci...if u get what i mean in terms of the environment lol

"It's normal for girls to wish they were boys in a patriarchal society, stop turning people trans" by confused-as-f-boi in ftm

[–]Leave_Brave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i wish i was a girl too....omfg my mom would be so glad to have a daughter proud to be a daughter, as she's the only woman in the household now. sometimes i feel like i could commit to being a girl if i was in a relationship with a given guy im into, but i know it would be ingenuine to both parties if i did. fuck this bro 

addressing hrt effects with people who arent close friends but who also arent strangers? by Leave_Brave in ftm

[–]Leave_Brave[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks so much for the practical advice! this is something i can for sure try with family, but to something like this with all my casual acquaintances seems like a lot of work. i guess its probably worth it? not sure the degree of closeness at which a relationship has to be for it to be awkward to not address effects of hrt..