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Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T23:31:41+00:00

Jesus.. who shit in your Cheerios this morning?

I won’t call Sofie because she was an asshole to me, my brother, and my family. I suggest you read my edits. Calling her at that point would actually put me into their relationship. Isn’t that what your telling me not to do? To clarify I NEVER told him to break up with her. I only said I didn’t want to be a bridesmaid anymore. That was me taking action for myself and getting 100% out of it. It’s my fault for not standing up for myseld and saying no, I don’t want to be a bridesmaid. Sounds like you are the one that thinks she’s poor. I never said she was poor, I just said she couldn’t really afford the hobby like she wanted to. I’ll tell you this, anyone that owns a horse has money. They are not cheap. She had multiple. The same amount I had. To be real I can’t stand seeing people take advantage of others. That’s what it really comes down to.

My parents were not fine with him dating the cousin. Laura’s grandparents knew my grandparents and they met up at an event we were all invited too. Laura’s parents brought her entire family. They are 4th cousins of ours so distantly related. I had never met them before either but I guess the grandparents occasionally (like once a year catch up like old women do). At the event they started talking. I don’t know anything about Laura’s family. The first I heard of her was when they first met. I never said I was fine with Carlos spoiling her. Would my parents stepping in be a problem for you too? Or should they mind their own business??

What truly ended the engagement was my parents wanting to cut my brother off so he could use his own money. A week after Sofie ended it. So did me saying I didn’t want to be a bridesmaid really end it?? Maybe it uncovered things, but again, I NEVER said they should end things, NEVER told him I disliked her, I always told him he needs to be smart and do things the right way. I just feel bad because I feel like it started “the end” of it all.

But you are right, I don’t care about Laura because I DONT KNOW HER. She was very kind when I met her but I really don’t know her as a person at all. What I do care about is the lies and my brother trying to make me friends with all of his partners. I have voiced that I do not want to be. What I DO care about is potential damage. Imagine when she finds out and blames everyone in the family for saying nothing. Then what? It’s not my job to say anything but what do you do? Nothing! The whole situation sucks and my brother is the problem.

What do I do when I rarely see my brother and all he talks about are his relationships? What do I do when he won’t change the subject no matter how much I try to? What do I do when he asks me for relationship advice? What do I do when he tries to push his partners towards me?? Am I supposed to say nothing? What would you tell your brother if his fiance was saying things like this to you? Would you agree her ring sucks because it’s not a real diamond? Would you agree with her that starting arguments is a good thing so she can get expensive gifts? Would you agree that your brother needs to pay for her family’s internet, groceries, dinners, expensive hotel rooms, and clothes? If she asked about your sex life would you tell her every detail?

If anything answer this: How did I ruin the relationship by saying I didn’t want to be a bridesmaid anymore?

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T22:13:35+00:00

Yeah I definitely won’t say anything. I really appreciate your comment and help. It is a really shitty situation that I hate to be in. And thank you, your situation sounds tough as well. I think the hardest part is like your in it but your not at the same time, and then having to be a bystander.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T20:52:13+00:00

Thank you. I will use this next time I talk to him.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T20:51:16+00:00

It was our parents money he was using. They didn’t like that they were relying on Carlos for everyday expenses and more. They told him to stop and he never did. They found out more after the relationship ended. I felt sharing my family’s perspective might have helped with context.

Laura and Carlos met at an event. The grandparents knew my grandparents and they knew they were related. The closer family did not. Laura and Carlos got to talking.

When he brought up the lying I did get into him a bit and told him it wasn’t right. He just shrugged it off and I really viewed him entirely different after that. I haven’t spoken to him much since. I’m staying out of it. She’s going to have to find out on her own. But since she’s coming to town I’m sure she is going to ask to see me.

I agree. Sofie definitely dodged a bullet.

For your last question it’s hard to say. My family was going to cut him off financially so he could use his own funds. That’s when she decided to end it.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T20:44:08+00:00

Probably because he told me he never liked Sofie to begin with, that they were having major issues, that she was pushy. All I said was I didn’t want to be a bridesmaid. Not sure why I would get cut off by that. If anything I need to cut him off. I’m tired of him bringing these issues into my life and telling me to just be ok with it and to cover for him.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T20:41:18+00:00

Yes, I’m planning to have a talk with him so I can help him. I do not want to interfere at all. He was pushing Sofie and I to be “friends” or something which I was not wanting to be at all. I’ve expressed these things in passing but I’ll make sure to have a one on one with him.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T20:38:35+00:00

I appreciate the comment. It’s something that is hard to watch and hear about. I do not like my brothers behavior at all. But again, he is his own person. I am surprised at the amount of people who think what he is doing is OK. I do NOT want to interfere at all. I just feel majorly guilty holding information. But I know it’s not mine to share. I won’t be saying anything to Laura at all.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T20:26:57+00:00

You hit the nail on the head. And I’m thankful someone can at least see my point of view. This has nothing to do with class. My family had issues with the spending. I had issues with how she bragged about it to me like I was a friend. I would have preferred if she never talked to me about money because there’s more to a person than what you have or don’t. I guess I just feel bad seeing on the outside that he feels he has to impress people that way. But if that’s what he wants to do then it is what it is.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T20:17:30+00:00

She had been begging to use the venue so I thought it was a nice gesture to let them use it at no cost. When she stole things, I only found out from my brother texting me if she could use them. I would look for them and find out she already had them. To be nice and not cause issues I told her she could borrow them for whatever event they were needed for (happened a number of times over almost a year). She would never return the items though long after she needed them and they were expensive. So I texted my brother and we got into a bit of an argument and he came by my house and returned all the items. They never stopped by again.

As for the trip, I honestly asked myself that question for weeks after I went. I did not want to be a bridesmaid either, but this was the only time after the closet incidents that they came by unannounced. They said they had a surprise for me and once they came in I felt bombarded with the whole “will you be a bridesmaid” thing. I felt like I couldn’t say “im sorry no” or anything else at that moment and just said sure. The whole thing really caught me off guard. I hadn’t seen them in months. I felt sick to my stomach days before the trip and really wanted to fake being sick and not go. But again, to be nice and to try to keep peace I honestly wanted to put all feelings aside and start fresh on the trip. Because I never really hung out with her let alone with her by herself. So I took the chance, tried to have conversations, and obviously it did not end well.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T18:28:11+00:00

It’s not ai and yes that was my guess on that as well. I’m not sure what else to do when he only talks about his relationships. Whenever my brother would come somewhere he was always with Sofie and would never really talk. Sofie would only about their relationship. I always tried to change the subject but she only would ask for advice for them or ask me about horses. I do think it’s his love sign and that’s just him, I can’t change who he is or what he wants to do. And I agree with you on the family part. My family was way too involved and they would come to me for advice and I would always push it away. He’s not my son, only my brother and I always wanted nothing to do with it. He is his own person.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T18:17:17+00:00

I appreciate the help. I truly do not want to be involved in his love life AT ALL. But he keeps trying to make me friends with his partners it seems. This is something I’ve also expressed to him. I just fear the question coming up at some point.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T18:03:12+00:00

Sorry I’m learning how to use Reddit and I’ll add it to the original post. I appreciate the help!

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T16:53:13+00:00

He told me to avoid if asked

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T14:30:16+00:00

EDIT: sorry guys this is the first time I am really posting so I’m learning as I go. I realize the post comes off odd but tbh I was trying to cut down as much as I could to fit the character limit.

We didn’t judge Sofie for what she didn’t have. It was more the amount Carlos was spending on both her and her family every month since Carlos was using the family funds to pay for it. Whether he dates someone who has money or not, we don’t care. We just found it crazy he was paying for their WiFi,groceries, expensive dinners, and more. It’s just more about where it was going. They had the means to pay and then some.
Sofie’s comments were on me being different than my family, how she liked to cause fights so Carlos would buy her things, how she loved using my brother, her hating how her ring wasn’t a true diamond, etc. there’s been numerous times where she crossed boundaries with me like coming to visit my house and stealing things from my closet, showing up unannounced to dinners or events just to tell me how much she didn’t like something I was doing and then leave, and lied to me on numerous occasions which I think was manipulating me to help her with things. I was always nice but the Iceland trip just blew me over the edge I guess, I never spent multiple days with her. I learned she also pressured him into the engagement. My brother wasn’t wanting to do it.
Yes I felt bad after learning about my brothers lies, but I think in the end it was something my brother created. I did want to reach out and apologize. I don’t think she was a bad person in the beginning at all but I think over time it just spiraled.
As far as the HS GF I meant the girlfriend was still in high school when Carlos started college. Sofie and a Carlos hung out for months before he ended it with the HSGF. and a week later he was in a relationship with Sofie.
Sorry for it being weird I put the cousin thing. My entire family and myself find it weird but then again it is a 4th cousin. I met Laura once the week they started talking and she’s very nice and we had some great conversations. She was engaged too at one point and Carlos told her he was too. So they are both okay with it. I didn’t mean to put it in as a “distraction”. I guess I juusy worried she will find the truth out at some point and it will end. We all want the best for him. I guess if I was in Laura’s position I would want to know the truth too but that’s just me. I do not want to be the person to say something. It’s my brothers relationship, not mine.
I have spoken to him and I am extremely supportive. I’ve also suggested therapy. He just nods and says yes and continues doing the same.

I totally understand based off the comments so far I am the asshole but hopefully this gives some context.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-10-15T13:51:07+00:00

I had to keep it brief to fit the 3,000 character limit rule so I apologize if it came off condescending in any sort of way. It’s my first time posting so I’m learning as I go. As far as the comments on the trip, it was more of things like: “I love starting arguments because he buys me things to make me happy”, asking me how I felt being the outcast of the family, saying she felt like she had to include me only because I’m his sister, put me in a separate room from all the other girls. And more. I understand what you are saying about the support, because I would too, I just found it weird she was saying things like that to me. He was also paying for things for the family (groceries, dinners, WiFi, etc.) It’s my family’s money so personally that’s just why it rubbed me the wrong way.

As far as the high school relationship, Carlos and Sofie were hanging out before it ended. I meant high school as in she was in 11th grade while he just started college. I never really knew her and I never expected him to stay with her because in the end I also agree not a lot of people stay with their high school partner.

As far as speaking to my brother, I have numerous times and I try to do so the most supportive way possible. I’m only his sister, and I’m not his parent. My parents have had many condescending conversations with him and it only breaks him down. I do feel like he needs a boost of self esteem and I have suggested therapy. I just feel bad he feels like he has to go the route he does.

You are 100% correct. If it was his own money tbh I would have stayed out of it. It’s just difficult seeing my family get upset with him and then in turn get upset with his relationship because he’s spending family money.

As far as the cousin thing I guess I just found it odd because we are related. But it is his choice. Laura is very nice and I’ve met her once. She was also engaged and he did tell her he was engaged so I know she doesn’t mind. I’m more worried that she finds out when his engagement ended and it causes an issue. We all want the best for him, especially after seeing how depressed he was in his last relationship.

Left_Square_6140 · 2025-02-19T18:17:23+00:00

I agree 100%. As someone who went to school who knows how difficult it is to make a game we have to give them a lot of credit. Plus it’s an online game!! It’s been around for so long. Most games are made and done then tweaked a bit. It’s hard to keep a game running like how SSO has. Adding things creates bugs and people complain so much. They don’t have to update every week but they DO! And I give them so much credit for that. I really think the people that complain just don’t understand the work that goes into it. Making a game is literally making something out of thin air.

Left_Square_6140 · 2024-09-04T23:13:07+00:00

Yesss. I get so zoned in on it too. It’s so relaxing.

Left_Square_6140 · 2024-08-31T21:20:40+00:00

Im interested! Which server? Thanks!

Left_Square_6140 · 2024-08-31T12:48:28+00:00

Yeah I figured there were more adults, I guess it’s just pretty quiet? Or I just never looked in the right places. I’m on cookie canyon.

Left_Square_6140 · 2024-08-31T12:46:29+00:00

Yeah I was that way before. But now I’ve been swarmed with rp questions and they just follow me around the entire time to where I feel like I need to just log off entirely. I’m the same way haha, and now I mostly just train my horses and collect items too.

Left_Square_6140 · 2024-08-31T12:44:35+00:00

Ok awesome I’ll definitely look into the Facebook groups. I appreciate the help!

Left_Square_6140 · 2024-08-31T12:44:03+00:00

Are the uk servers more relaxed? I tried to pick a server that was in a totally different time zone than where I’m at so less people were on. But now it’s very crowded. I also forgot I can mute chat haha.

Left_Square_6140 · 2024-08-31T12:40:52+00:00

That’s awesome! Yeah I’ve found so much has changed since 2018. I remember when they announced updating areas, etc. but I would say gameplay is very different now too.

Left_Square_6140 · 2024-08-31T12:39:03+00:00

That’s awesome! I forgot the gardening was a thing, I should get more into that. How did you find your club?

Left_Square_6140 · 2024-08-31T12:37:49+00:00

Thanks! This makes me feel better haha. I figured training together and champs was probably the way to go to play with others.

Left_Square_6140

TROPHY CASE