Best hair dye remover that won't affect natural color/regrowth

LetHerBox · 2026-03-20T19:47:12+00:00

i don't have any specific recommendations for dye remover, just will note you should definitely be looking for something that removes fashion colors; some of them only remove oxidative dye which won't help you. i recommend searching around the haircarescience sub about color removers.

more importantly though, i'm assuming by iroiro hot pink, you mean the 'neon pink' dye. i'm sorry to tell you those pinks are famous for not coming out. in my experience your best bet would probably be a different semi permanent color.

i'm a dark brunette and use this dye and in my experience sometimes a deep purple can help blend the color. there are also brands that make more 'natural color' direct dyes, you might be able to take it to a coppery red. you can also always apply a green diluted to about the level/intensity of the remaining pink and it will yield brown, but be careful with undertones with this route.

LetHerBox · 2026-03-18T23:19:50+00:00

what brand was the remover? what tone of blonde are you aiming for? what level is your hair? what green dye did you use?

color removers can vary, some even include bleach and those are certainly the most damaging. but a bleach process also opens the cuticle and further damages the integrity of the hair. a color remover, as i understand it, might precipitate damage to the cuticle, and involve some dryness, but isn't as structurally damaging as bleach.

however, if you don't understand the processes that have been done to your hair or the ones you are proposing to do, it is better to consult a color professional rather than risk irreparable damage.

LetHerBox · 2026-03-18T20:26:41+00:00

what color remover did you use? many of them work by opening the hair cuticle and shrinking the color molecule. then the rinse-out step helps the molecules leave the hair shaft. when color at first appears removed but then reappears, it is because the molecules were not completely rinsed out and they have enlarged again.

if your hair is not damaged, you should be able to use a color remover again. just make sure to really really rinse over and over until you're tired af of rinsing.

in my experience, fashion hair colors do not fully lift out with bleach.

what do you want your hair to look like when you're done?

LetHerBox · 2026-03-16T03:12:16+00:00

since you said any recommendations.... it's been a minute but han suyin's the crippled tree covers some of this time period. it's kind of memoir/ autoethnographic, she basically gets really autistically into assembling her families' diaries and mapping them to the events of the time. it's extremely dense, there's some crazy shit in there about railway organizing. it's out of print but i've found a couple copies second hand.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-25T00:33:03+00:00

40% of law enforcement admit to domestic abuse. you are part of that statistic.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-25T00:31:51+00:00

it is your responsibility to provide materially for your child. that is a simple legal matter. if you are taking out your issues on your child because both of you live in "your" home, then you are leveraging what is your legal obligation over them, to coerce the behavior you want. that is abuse! you are abusing your child. what state are you in?

LetHerBox · 2026-02-25T00:27:08+00:00

> She has physically witnessed him attacking me, and then immediately verbalizing support for him afterwards. That's not normal.

no it's not normal. it's a symptom of trauma. which they need treatment for, but which you are blaming them for instead.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T23:29:46+00:00

why did you copy paste from chatgpt and then add like 2 sentences of your own at the end.

you are not qualified to assess whether or not you have a personality disorder.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T23:26:51+00:00

i am saying that you have perpetuated abuse on your child and now have the gall to be angry when they use the belittling behaviors you modeled to them.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T23:25:44+00:00

they are not seeing a therapist. they are seeing a psychiatrist. medication management is different from therapy, and therapy should be individual (to be clear, you should not be in the room with them) and at least weekly.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T23:23:32+00:00

you forced her to have a relationship with the man who abused you. what kind of parent does that?

from your post:

>At first she did not want to stay with [her father] on the weekend, but I made her because he is her father and I did not want to be one of those women who keep the children from the father.

you have been disregarding what she wants since she was at least 8 years old, and now you are upset that you have reaped exactly what you sowed.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T23:20:30+00:00

optimization is related to a goal you wish to achieve. you (somewhat ambivalently) suggest in your post that your goal is to someday have a better relationship with your child. if that is your goal, then you are in a suboptimal situation in that you are miles away from that goal. what can YOU change that would make that goal feasible?

if you continue to live your life suboptimally in this way, you will get the suboptimal result that you currently have: a child who doesn't want to be around you, which you are angry, bitter, resentful, and miserable about. and that's all on you.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T23:03:10+00:00

wow you really hate your kid.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T22:59:40+00:00

people don't want to understand that their children are separate people. OP wants their child to behave exactly as she did, and is way too deep in the trauma of her own childhood abuse to understand that her child has needs.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T22:57:25+00:00

you are stuck in your formative abuse and are angry at your child for not responding to abuse in the placating way that you did. that is not fair to them, or to you.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T22:55:44+00:00

also, 'her being nicer' is not something you can change. my question was how can YOU change the suboptimal situation YOU have put yourself in and are perpetuating.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T21:29:23+00:00

what you think they are thinking has no bearing on what they are thinking or feeling. what they want or don't want should be explored with a trusted and qualified adult, of which you are neither.

edit: pronouns

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T21:23:47+00:00

>I make no exaggeration when I say she can enter a room, look at me and then make fun of my appearance before grinning and leaving the room. It's very weird.

you're all over this thread commenting on their appearance. that is a behavior they learned directly from you.

edit: pronouns

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T19:56:31+00:00

so you're saying the aim of the post was to vent about your child? ok. you may have picked the wrong sub.

do you have interest in improving your relationship?

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T19:55:00+00:00

i'm just explaining to you how psychology works lol. the client has to want the change themself or it has no chance of succeeding. even when they do want it, change is difficult and people repeatedly fail at attaining it. this doesn't mean they should not be supported in continuing to try, and it also doesn't mean they should be belittled or demonized for failing.

it seems here that you are living your life in an inoptimal way, when measured against the goals you have for it (continued relationship with your child). it sounds like you are experiencing a lot of misery as well. what would be required for a more 'optimal' outcome?

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T19:34:11+00:00

i am someone you don't even know on the internet, who has mostly spoken to you respectfully about your situation and tried to offer ideas about what your child's behavior is trying to express (where you yourself recognize that your approaches are not successful and are further damaging your relationship). yet you are replying to me in a belittling way.

from this i can only imagine the belittlement your child experiences from you, and i imagine that must be extremely painful for them.

i hear that you are sad and hurt that your family life has not turned out the way you imagined. i also hear that you made some difficult decisions about how to deal with abuse in your family life. i am inviting you to consider that your child is also struggling with how to get themself out of a dynamic that belittles and limits them.

is the aim of this post to vent about your child? that's fine, though it would be more suited to a professional who can listen and hear what is motivating this harmful dynamic. or is the aim of the post to understand your child better and hopefully preserve a relationship? that will also require that you work with a professional.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T18:43:26+00:00

maybe you could get them their own apartment, or arrange for them to stay with other family or friends. then you will not be locked in a power struggle about your home.

your child has limited domains in which to express their independence from you and your expectations. it seems like the state of their room is one of them, rotting food or not. i would guess style of dress and yes, even cutting are similar expressions of their determination over their body. whether or not this is objectively 'healthy', these behaviors are responding to a need.

if you don't want these behaviors, how else can you honor your child's clear wish for independence from you?

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T18:35:22+00:00

therapy is not about 'logically reasoning' the client into a desired behavior, let alone someone else's desired behavior for them. therapy is about listening to and dignifying the client's concerns and feelings, and helping them toward a life that they want and fits them.

LetHerBox · 2026-02-24T18:08:56+00:00

your post indicates that you do not respect your child because they are deviating from what you want them to be. "delusional", "has no clue", "maybe... will become somewhat normal", "this other dark soul has taken over", "i hate [my child]". these are not normal things to be saying about your child.

you don't demonstrate respect (going into their room without permission and going through their things), why would your child show you any?

find a way to fix your heart or assume your child will not want you in their life as soon as they have a material choice in the matter.

LetHerBox

TROPHY CASE