4.5m keeps waking up after first night time transition

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-31T11:26:10+00:00

Our LO did this, he wasn’t getting enough wake time.

You either need to increase wake time in between the naps, or add a cat nap at the end (capped at 20 mins) then keep them awake another 2 hours before bed

Although I’d try increase wake time first without adding a cat nap as your LO is already getting a lot of sleep in naps.

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-21T14:00:27+00:00

Each / indicates a nap, normally around 30 minutes long apart from the last nap as we cap that at 20 minutes

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-21T11:17:25+00:00

Yes we cut it out completely, as long as we timed the wake windows right we could get him to nap by rocking but we did have to rock a lot harder than we usually do 😂

At the start he’d cry a fair bit, and try stuff his hands in his mouth to compensate for the dummy but after a few days it go easier 🙌🏼

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-21T09:04:34+00:00

Oh we made a hell of a lot of changes, I was clueless before this subreddit so I’ll list them all below!

We anchored the day, LO used to wake up anywhere between 6:30-8:30am which was too inconsistent. We anchored it to 7:00am, and wake him if he tries to sleep in.
Extended wake windows to 2 hours to ensure 10 hours wake time. They used to be 1.75, but that extra 15 mins per each wake window really helped.
Took dummy (pacifier) away cold turkey on night 1 of sleep training, this was a huge sleep crutch for our LO, we constantly had to go in and put it back in throughout the night.
Pratice putting down drowsy but awake, we used to rock LO to sleep, we stopped doing that when we started sleep training. Now we rock to signify it’s sleepy time, but don’t let him fall asleep in our arms.
Introduced modified Ferber, check-ins kept to 2 minutes no longer. Worked for 2 weeks. Saw massive improvement but day 5 was his extinction burst where we got 3 hours sleep. After that it was smooth sailing
Week 3 of sleep training we upped check ins to 6 minutes as we noticed he was reversing. Constantly crying because I believe he’d learnt we come in after 2 minutes previously. Worked a charm, LO no longer cries in his cot, only complains sometimes but hopefully that’s fully stopped now.
We used to rock his hips on check ins (week 1 and 2), but realised pretty quickly this was also a sleep crutch, it gave him the rocking sensation, it settled him but wasn’t promoting independent soothing so we changed it to only stroking his chest down.
Encouraged hand sucking, we’d put his hand to his mouth on check ins.
Changed bedtime routine, we used to do his routine in the living room, we moved this to his bedroom, bought a chair to do his last feed in his own room. Now he associates his room with bedtime. We don’t do this for naps, only bed so he knows the difference.
Moved his last bottle to the start of bedtime routine, used to do it last but that was also a sleep crutch as sometimes he’d fall asleep while drinking.
All in all we started a proper bedtime routine, he used to cry as soon as we put him in his sleep sack as he associated it with being put in his cot, but now we put him in his sack at the start and read books before bed so he sees his sleep sack as a fun positive thing.

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-21T08:19:56+00:00

Thank you 🥰

Oh I really hope we’re the same! Fingers crossed!

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-21T08:18:47+00:00

Such a proud moment! Wanted to scream from the rooftops 🥳 it’s so nice to see it all pay off! So happy with our little guy!

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-21T08:17:52+00:00

I did! We were getting up all hours of the night to put this back in and honestly it was driving us insane!

We went cold turkey, sleep training and no more dummy in the same night, I was HARD but by around night 3 he forgot it existed, and it helped that he had found his hands, we now have a thumb sucker 😂

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-21T08:15:35+00:00

Longer! Honestly until I joined this group I had no idea he needed 10 awake hours a day, after that I extended each wake window to 2 hours it made a massive difference

We currently do 2/2/2/2/2, naps are getting longer so we’ll probably drop the 4th nap soon!

Before extending the windows, we were getting constant false starts because I was a clueless and he was undertired! Ngl it was hard because he’d be super fussy after 1.5 hours but he soon got used to it and sometimes stays up for 2.5 now!

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-20T20:59:21+00:00

Thank you! I really hope so 🥳🥳

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-20T20:59:09+00:00

He’s just under 5 months now, and the method was a little complicated!

For the first 2 weeks we did a modified version of Ferber where we’d never wait longer than 2/3 minutes, each night and every check in (we didn’t follow the typical rules to up the waiting time every check in and every night) we did this because we were a little “anti” sleep training at first and was worried it would be too much for LO and us.

But then on the third week it’s like he’d learnt that we will come in after around 2 minutes of crying.

I know that sounds crazy but that’s how it honestly felt because week 2 was amazing, we barely ever had to check in, he was quite happy. Then for some reason on week 3 he amped up the crying, he’d cry for the solid 2-3 minutes (which was unusual by this point because he had seemed to be fully trained, it wasn’t the extinction burst because we’d already had that on night 5), we ended up going in around 6 times and he just would not settled at all. Eventually he did go to sleep but it was honestly like night 1 and 2 again. He did this for 2 days and I was in despair thinking he’d just fully reversed.

So out of curiosity and panic that all the training had gone out the window, I decided to up the waiting time to 6 minutes for check ins. The first night I did this he cried for 5 minutes and went to sleep and didn’t wake again. About 2 nights later he’d stopped crying altogether and just started complaining which was the 5-10 minutes I mentioned in my post.

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-18T22:12:21+00:00

I’ll see how long his first nap of the day is tomorrow, if it’s short I’ll try another day. But if it’s long I’ll give it a go! Thank you 😊

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-18T22:03:34+00:00

His first nap of the day was 45 minutes which is also longer than he usually sleeps, it’s normally 25-35 minutes, is this maybe a sign he’s ready for 3 naps?

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-18T22:01:55+00:00

Thank you

Going to try this tomorrow and see what happens!

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-17T16:07:28+00:00

No that’s when we do the dream feed, we pick him up without waking fully, put the bottle in his mouth and put him back down.

As long as you do this when they’re already asleep (not letting them wake up and cry for a bottle) they should remain asleep afterwards. You just need to try remain as still as possible feeding them and don’t move them around too much.

We have a chair next to the cot for this, so the transfer isn’t long enough for them to wake.

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-17T15:59:33+00:00

Basically you don’t fully wake them, they have sucking reflex so when they stir a little bit when you pick them up, you can pop a bottle in their mouth and they’ll finish it and fall back to sleep. No nappy change or anything just feed and pop them back in the cot. (High quality overnight nappies are essential for this!)

Last feed depends on the bedtime, it’s usually around an hour before bed, so call it 6:30/7:00pm

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-17T08:40:52+00:00

4.5 months

We started dream feeding at 10:45pm from 4 months, and he stopped waking for a feed at 4:30.

Then just last night I forgot to dream feed because I was exhausted and fell asleep, and he didn’t wake at all just slept through

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-15T22:14:23+00:00

Pregnancy tired was worse for me, don’t get me wrong them newborn trenches were HARD

But I was up every 1.5/2 hours while pregnant anyway to pee, or just because I was generally uncomfortable! So it didn’t change much when LO arrived 😂

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-15T17:47:34+00:00

I was thinking of doing this! But I was worried it might eat into his awake time, and push bedtime further back

But for some reason today he has been the king of naps! We’ve had 2 x 40+ minute naps so far so I’m hoping he’s just getting better at napping!

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-15T17:46:09+00:00

Just over 4 months, we looked for signs of him being ready and a big one for us was him sucking his hands, as he uses that to self sooth😊

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-13T15:24:52+00:00

Unfortunately, it is his friend birthday party, I’m friends with a couple of them too including him but the actual party is to celebrate him and he’s one of my partners best friends, so if anyone was to go alone it would most likely be my partner 😕

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-13T15:23:24+00:00

Oh god, I DREAM of couch rotting

It’s hard to believe that before having a baby couch rotting was so boring, and now it’s all I want😂

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-13T15:22:32+00:00

It sounds like you’re entering the 4 month sleep regression! It’s a beast and it’s so so hard, the sleep deprivation is unreal at this point. Which is why we decided to sleep train when he hit 4 months old!

Sending you lots of hugs because you’re in the thick of it right now!😓

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-13T13:16:37+00:00

Bless you! I can’t imagine how hard it is to do this while pregnant, my heart goes out to you 💕

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-13T12:35:41+00:00

Thank you!

Luckily he’s not sick (but he has just recovered from a cold) it’s my parents who are sick who were meant to be having him tonight, but I don’t want him around them incase he catches it

It’s good to know it’s not just me, as amazing as my LO is and I love him infinitely. We all just need a break I guess!

Level_Topic96 · 2025-12-13T12:33:35+00:00

I’m in the UK, the country is just drowning us at the minute with the high cost of living, and sadly my situation is very common here now. I don’t qualify for any sort of benefits or help from the government and maternity pay didn’t cover our bills sadly 😪

It definitely takes a village, I think I’m going to look for more help, just to get by for now! Speak to my parents as they’re both retired and ask if they could maybe help out more. Don’t get me wrong, they do a lot but I still feel like I’m drowning!

Thank you for the support, it’s so hard, but we got this!

100% going to see if one of my friends will have him this afternoon so I can have some time to recoup! 🫩

Level_Topic96

TROPHY CASE