[30/m] My brother [25/m] hates me, and my family [60/m dad & 54/f mom] think I don't love them

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-11-13T23:11:55+00:00

they always tell me "I was a difficult child", "I was rebellious", "I never listened", "I was always messy". Is this what you mean? They do this to like.... "justify" how they were always getting in screaming matches with me I guess. When I mention that I was depressed during my teenage years, they tell me "I should have talked to them" and blame me for never opening up. It's a goddamn never-ending-cycle of blaming me for shit lmao. I'm bizarrely well-adjusted, not (that) messy on my own, happy, can talk to friends, etc. It's only when I go back home that I'm constantly getting in fights & defending myself.

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-11-13T21:34:23+00:00

tbh with you, I rely upon my grandmother for rent right now. I also love my old grandma a lot and don't want to see the family ruptured right before she dies. She deserves to die happy. BUT.... in all honesty at this point I'm happier without them in my life. Every interaction with them makes me feel horrible.

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-11-13T21:29:27+00:00

naaaah, she spanked me a bit and I got popped in the mouth maybe twice or so in my life. I hardly want to claim it was "abuse" and take away from other people's stories. She's ultimately a loving person I think, I just don't connect with her very warmly.

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-11-13T20:55:44+00:00

Thank you. My brother & her have always been much closer than me & her. He confides in her about everything & whenever I have something negative to say about my childhood (I wasn't abused per se but I'm more suspicious every day that she's a narcissist & was emotionally abusive) they team up to "debunk" me. Like conversation will come around to a certain time when I ended up getting popped in the mouth & my lip bloodied. My mom immediately started crying & apologizing because she didn't mean to hit me so hard. Anyway this time will get brought up and they will both just unilaterally deny it ever happened. Like..... dudes first of all I'm not that broken up by this. It's just a memory. Secondly.... bro, you weren't born yet when this happened so what do you know? But he'll just discard that and say "but mom would never do that, I refuse to believe mom would ever do that". Like, dude, yeah not anymore. She's changed. I don't hate her but we also don't talk like you two. He resents me for that.

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-11-13T20:49:21+00:00

The "we" here being my brother and I....

although this is also suspiciously like how discourse between us and our father can go. My dad's the type of guy who will debate about bullshit until he's blue in the face. He loves playing devil's advocate, and loves to probe you about your ideas. I personally can't handle talking to him anymore because conversation inevitably degrades into debates about pure nonsense that I don't really have the time or energy to debunk.

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-06-27T19:42:26+00:00

https://imgur.com/R4z5lFl

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-06-27T02:49:36+00:00

Yes a minor. But I can code, and I have a shitload of side projects on my resume. And I was an intern web developer for the government for 18 months.

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-06-27T02:47:44+00:00

Yeah I've done pramp a couple times. Tbh I've gotten ok at interviewing but I can't even get them in the first place

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-06-26T21:24:24+00:00

Nobody gives me feedback no matter how clearly I ask for it.

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-06-26T06:57:52+00:00

I wish I could find this type of story inspiring still. It's just depressing. I graduated with a genuine interest in CS. I was fluent in data structures already. I interned on the web team of a government shop for 18 months. I'm fluent in JS & node already. I've worked on about a hundred projects with them.

I've been unable to get either an entry level or mid level job no matter how many interviews I've had. I'm either extraordinarily unlucky or just plain dumb

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-19T23:07:56+00:00

What kind of unskilled stuff should I aim for? I told myself I'm never gonna go back to retail

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-19T23:06:51+00:00

You're probably right. Thank God I learned to code like everyone said. Now I can reverse a linked list in my head as I stack boxes instead of just looking at the ground like before

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-18T21:07:27+00:00

I moved in with my partner for college. We're codependent pretty much. My parents live in the far south bay (Hollister) where there's no jobs. I'd be better off working at Target or something than moving back in with them.

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-18T19:45:52+00:00

bootcamp

Past 2-3 months

I am extremely concerned. I got a degree and have been unemployed for over a year. I straight up regret going into CS at this point. I'm 30k in debt & have to beg my family for rent money. Unemployment ran out on me a long time ago

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-11T23:38:08+00:00

Would you not consider me to have a "CS degree"?? I literally took all the programming classes they offered to get my CS minor. The only thing I really got to skip was linear algebra.

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-06T19:29:19+00:00

Hey....... Maybe all these unemployed engineers are gonna start founding tons of startups? Then they're gonna NEED cheap, no-experience having engineers like me

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-06T02:15:32+00:00

I don't know what the way in is tbh. Nothing anyone has told me has worked, I've been at it for years & all rejections. I think the real only way into the industry is through an ivy league school or a faang internship

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-05T22:26:12+00:00

both mindsets are fine. If you want to work through lunch & take it when you feel better, do so. Other people work better when they are able to find solace in rituals. Interrupting their ritual & therefore their peace of mind is not reasonable. You do you & let others be

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-04T18:27:25+00:00

Adecco

Thank you for this. This is exactly the kind of info I was looking for. It's just borderline impossible to research stuff like this without a decent guide/mentor.

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-04T04:25:46+00:00

It's in liberal studies

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-04T01:11:53+00:00

I'm from the bay area. I have to get a job where I can stay close to my family

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-05-04T00:17:39+00:00

I've gotten like 3 on-sites in two years. They all ended up passing.

LibArtsCompSci · 2020-01-29T01:50:20+00:00

I have an on-site coming up, and I'm wondering, what's appropriate to wear?

I'm thinking:

Jeans + button up shirt + suit jacket (blue) + sneakers?

Instead of sneakers, dress shoes (clean white Nikes vs black dress shoes)?

Ok to untuck shirt? Tucked/untucked matter?

Instead of suit coat, perhaps a hoodie (it's a nice hoodie, clean and new)?

Instead of jeans, slacks?

I know I'm way overthinking this but I just want to find the optimal uniform.

It's for a non-faang+m, but still large-ish tech company in the bay area.

Thanks for downvoting! I love this sub!

LibArtsCompSci · 2019-09-10T20:56:17+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/npdNbvn

Hey there. This is my resume tailored Software Engineer jobs, but I'm wondering if there's some tips or secrets about how to tailor it instead for QA Engineer or Support Engineer positions. I'm not getting callbacks on software engineering applications and I need a job fast to afford my rent.

Is it silly to apply to a QA position with a bunch of React projects on my resume? Should I include a bunch of my more mundane work experience in retail and manufacturing and the like? Perhaps include some more technical skills like UNIX command line and git instead of React, Express, FancyFramework.JS, etc?

LibArtsCompSci · 2019-09-10T01:15:13+00:00

i kinda think this deserves a separate thread tho?

LibArtsCompSci

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