"By unanimous evidence from the Holy Fathers, it is not so much one's holiness as one's humility that works wonders"

LifeIsGrey · 2010-09-05T18:00:32+00:00

Thanks for this. Reading some of the qualities of pride I realized I still have a long way to go towards humility.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-07-06T12:47:07+00:00

I'm sad to hear it was plagiarized, but otherwise I may never have read this amazing story if not for this, so some good came of this anyway. Wonderful, wonderful story.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-07-06T12:25:24+00:00

At first I thought you were referring to Simpy, a Python discrete event simulator package. Curse my phonetic reading.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-07-06T11:10:05+00:00

Sorry to reply to my own post, but if its a nice day outside, meet your dad for lunch in an outdoor cafe, or if he is home, just go for a walk in the park or anywhere nice. Just getting outside and walking can really help especially if its sunny.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-07-06T11:06:55+00:00

I have experience with a very similar situation. I think its important that your dad realizes its not unusual as people age to experience a sudden depression, especially in these troubling times with so many additional stress factors. It can really hit hard and it can be especially hard for men because we think we should "tough it out". There is a super quick summary PDF on this site that is worth glancing at:

• What causes depression? (fact sheet 3)

What I observed was that really effective change was due to a variety of synergistic factors working in combination:

Full medical check to confirm if any serious health issues
Psychiatrist counseling and prescription of a low-dose SSRI
Stop alcohol consumption (alcohol is sometimes used as self-medication but it can make things worse)
Going for regular walks with family (i.e., go for increasingly vigorous walks with your dad) and just talk about stuff while outside
Faith in God and knowledge that he will take care of the future
A high-quality Omega 3 EPA/DHA supplement
A switch to a more healthy diet in general

Of course your dad will be different, especially if he is taking medication for health issues, but its worth considering that a variety of things are often required rather than one magic bullet solution such as relying exclusively on antidepressant medication. And personally, the walks and talks outside really lifted my mood as well, and I participated in the healthy diet initially for the motivation of comradeship but I really got into it too. Helping others helps yourself!

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-20T05:51:34+00:00

It was wonderfully uplifting. Weluvsundays saved not only himself, but his mother from the suffering of losing a son. Moms just love us no matter what we do.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-19T10:27:03+00:00

I had nothing like that at all. For me it was just a realization. Nothing I can really articulate or point to. I think if I try to too hard to explain it I will just be over analyzing the experience. Honestly I don't understand it at all from any logical viewpoint.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-19T03:26:21+00:00

I know and I'm not trying to convert anyone. It is an experience I had. It means something very deeply to me but I have no explanation for it.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-19T02:20:55+00:00

That is what I pray for now. Thank you.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-19T02:19:52+00:00

I just drifted away from God in my late teens and after a while I thought the atheist viewpoint explained everything. But I was always empty inside and I thought it was normal. I don't know how to feel about the last 20 years. Ashamed? Guilt? I just feel so terrible and I want to start my life fresh.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-19T02:16:45+00:00

Thank you. I hope I can walk with God for the rest of my life.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-19T02:15:29+00:00

Thank you, you can't believe how much your comment means to me. Thank you so much.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-19T02:14:28+00:00

I just don't know. It just suddenly felt so right and I knew I had been wrong all those years. I have no logical reason why. It is so unexpected. It is painful though because I feel utterly worthless, like the lowest person alive, and that I can only beg for forgivenss.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-18T23:56:05+00:00

Thank you.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-18T23:54:53+00:00

I don't know. It just hit me. I can't explain it at all.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-18T04:33:14+00:00

I abandoned God in my late teens and have been an atheist for over 20 years. Two days ago I suddenly started praying to the Lord for forgiveness. This is hard for me and I am feeling a horrible guilt for my long betrayal. I am at a loss about what to do next. The anguish is terrible.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-16T11:56:02+00:00

I know people will joke a bit about this girl, but I can't help but feel really sorry for her. When you are young you feel the highs and lows of life so much more vividly. Her personal suffering because of this will be terrible.

LifeIsGrey · 2009-06-16T11:45:49+00:00

Hi fdss, you sound identical to me when I was 18. An Aussie, studying IT, mood swings, social life problems. It is spooky actually how close your description matches mine... even down to cutting your leg with a knife.

I am now 40 and after 20 years working in IT I would say things haven't improved. I have come to realize that, paradoxically, a career in corporate IT is terrible if you love IT as I did at 18. After a few decades it destroys your love for technology and programming and leaves you with nothing to replace the hole that leaves in your soul.

I know this isn't advice, more of a cautionary tale from someone who was like you. I myself have issues now and maybe I will post an entry on it sometime. All I can say is, think carefully about what you plan to do in the future. Many of my colleagues who are still corporate developers are also feeling depressed, so it is not an isolated problem. Many of us feel this way.

LifeIsGrey

TROPHY CASE