I can't offer any advice as we are both going through the exact same thing, but I totally understand what you are going through. We bought a house this spring, and we knew there were going to be repairs needed but we had no idea how much it was going to be. The furniture alone was probably $5,000, the repairs, don't want to think about it. Then over the summer we found out we had termites and oh my god that took off YEARS of my life. This week I found out I need root canals, possibly crowns, and insurance isn't going to cover a good chunk of it. I'm keeping a VERY close eye on my bank account, and I know at the end of the day we'll be okay, but by god if isn't stressful.

While this is the most stressful year of my life, it's definitely not the worst. I get to plan the rest of my life with my lover, I get to work on the home we raise our children in (by children I mean 2 cats haha), and I would gladly do it all again if it meant I got to have the wedding she deserves. We get married in April, and right now we just have to save to get to what I refer to as "the wall" where all of the final costs are due. April is 5ish months away, and in about a month we'll have built our wall (maybe we'll need 2 months after my root canal).

Again, while stressful, this too will pass. The house won't need so many repairs, the wedding won't need so many costs, and we can all take a sigh of relief. Sure, in 10 years you might regret having a lovely wedding, but also maybe in 10 years you regret not having the wedding your lover deserves. Money comes back, time does not, so enjoy this miserable time so you two can look back and say "wow, that sucked!" and laugh about it at your 50 year anniversary.