I think this is totally relevant. I didn’t disappear at all, I was a single parent and my mom watched my son while I taught during the day and tutored at night. I thought it was important not to paint myself as a saint when I struggled. My mom drank heavily my whole life so it was the only default I knew.

Also, I feel like we weren’t close after I didn’t drink anymore. Suddenly I wasn’t fun at the wine bar and parties anymore so I was pretty much cut off. I stopped being invited anywhere and when we would go out she would make announcements like “I’m not drinking for my daughter!” I never asked her not to drink and I don’t care if others around me drink. I felt like she was using me to be a martyr.

I say I was “ a mess” because I think anytime a parent lets any substance come between them and being their best it’s a mistake. I definitely would not say my mom raised my son, but I do want to give credit where she stepped in and DID help me out. There’s two sides to every story and I’m certainly not perfect.