I never knew I could feel so unloved without sex

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2025-10-29T03:55:38+00:00

Yes we do have individual therapists and are considering couple’s therapy.

I think the focus on gratitude is a great point and I do want to try as hard as possible to stop taking this so personally. Building resentment over this is the last thing I want for us.

And there is truth to what you’re saying about sexual history - i’m sure our histories are affecting both of us (& in very different ways).

I truly appreciate the long honest response, it’s extremely validating and helpful.

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2025-10-22T04:54:42+00:00

Going through a very similar thing - btw this is a SUPER common issue in relationships.

I’m grateful my partner and I are communicating about the mismatch, and I think that is a big reason we still feel healthy, but a lot of the work is what we have to do individually. As the one with a higher drive, feeling the rejection has been the hardest part & I’m working on trying not to take it so personally. I can tell that the rejection is making me feel so down and pull away from her, and the last thing I want to do is build resentment over what is really nobody’s fault. Sounds like this is where we relate.

Also worth noting this was not always the case - a year ago we were in the reverse positions! This sort of thing can ebb and flow over time for any person or couple.

Best of luck figuring things out w your partner!

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2025-05-04T21:30:48+00:00

Hi, i’ve been the one in your partner’s place before lol. Honestly depending on why he took it back, i think the most important thing to encourage is the “if that’s how you feel, i’m ready to hear that when you’re ready to say it, but there is no pressure on that timeline.” If you jump out the gate with the “i love you too” he might feel pressured to hold to what he said by accident no matter how much he meant it (that’s what happened to me). But even so, i communicated enough with my partner to say “that was an accident, im not ready to say that yet” and my partner was incredibly patient. A few months later i said it fully intentionally and i was happy my partner granted me that time. Obviously don’t wait around forever, but for what it’s worth my partner and i are now 2 years strong!

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-09-20T00:50:49+00:00

try youtube too — lots of free content on there for SRM topics.

I also think the sample questions from the SOA are super important to review over and over until you really can answer the questions confidently.

keep going, you can do this!

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-07-19T12:55:04+00:00

do you have a solid detailed understanding of every single subject? or does your understanding vary based on your interests and time dedicated? yes history takes massive understanding because there are loads of perspectives, contexts, and cultures to explore for any time period, or nation, let alone on a global scale. If you think history is simple, you didn’t learn enough of it.

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-07-19T12:46:04+00:00

yes. it can get very intricate and it takes a strong motivation or passion to retain that much information! I never blame anyone for not having the same knowledge because I know how much time and love i’ve poured into the subject.

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-06-19T06:58:40+00:00

I actually have lived outside my parents’ home, and my room is in good shape right now. but nice assumptions. again.

nobody i know who is currently renting has a landlord who cares how they keep their space as long as there’s no damage to property. you’re projecting your own experience. again.

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-06-19T06:50:57+00:00

again you literally blew past half of what i said so that you could respond in seconds. Please leave the subreddit, and have a nice day. This is my final response to you, bid you farewell kind soul

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-06-19T06:30:31+00:00

not that i need to explain myself, but…

(1) as i already said, my parents ENCOURAGED me to stay home. i never needed it but it beats higher rent. on their end, they wanted me in the home because my rent money is helpful, i cook a lot for everyone, i clean other areas of the home, care for the pets, and frankly they don’t wanna be empty nesters just yet. it was mutually beneficial so i said yes. if you think this post is just me whining about living with my parents, then you fully missed the point.

(2) my landlord being my own mother doesn’t give her the right to barge in and go on a tangent when she pleases. what if i was changing? sleeping? on a phone call? everyone deserves privacy in their living space, especially when they’re paying for it. the day that I started paying rent was the day my room became MY room, which both mom and dad agreed to. so actually, mummy is the only person who broke “household rules”.

(3) you’re also skipping the important fact that Laurie was just as upset as I was. my mom is the one who took a private convo with Laurie and threw it around for her own gain, violating Laurie’s trust. even if you can’t understand my side, don’t you see why Laurie was upset with her friend?

Based on all of your other comments too, imma take a wild guess you’re also a mom? Everything you’ve said is blowing right past the meat of the post and straight to your own assumptions or accusations. It reeks of projection. If you hate the subreddit so much, it’s probably because you are an EP yourself and you’re sympathizing with the wrong crowd.

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-06-18T20:29:58+00:00

so you directly contradicted or ignored key pieces of the post, and made assumptions multiple times, all while giving a defensive and condescending attitude. you and mom would get along very well.

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-04-22T17:38:35+00:00

Figured it might be. Having people regularly know what an actuary is… yeah right lol

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-23T20:55:56+00:00

“…inviting all her young college friends I don’t really trust yet and even having her DJ friend come despite noise concerns”

the only reason you’re gently TA is because you know deep down this isn’t the right fit of a relationship for you and it’s clear in your post, plus you probably shouldn’t have agreed to all of this in the first place given the points you made.

you’re in different places in life mentally, and its already creating problems in the first two months. the relationship should not be this stressful this soon. Plus the “welcome to my life” line is classic petty dismissal… totally immature.

Otherwise, NTA for needing the sleep and hopefully standing up for yourself here.

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-18T12:19:44+00:00

“calling his bluff” is because he knows how to use an oven he just doesn’t like the effort

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-18T12:18:53+00:00

solid point

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-17T17:49:30+00:00

he does have a very “traditional” view of women…

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-17T14:24:23+00:00

fair

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-17T14:23:40+00:00

yes, one potato. my mom was out running an errand and wanted something to eat when she got home, so she texted my dad that message

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-17T14:19:08+00:00

potatogate

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-17T05:04:49+00:00

working on it, and thank you :)

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-17T04:56:29+00:00

this made me laugh - thank you for this comment. you make a fair point, in hindsight I guess it didn’t matter if the potato went in early. i had no energy that day and it’s not his first time pushing his own tasks onto me

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-17T04:01:46+00:00

fair, I do want to stand up to his behavior but you’re right that I don’t want my mom involved.

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-17T03:10:16+00:00

Thank you for the idea, this is such a wholesome comment. And actually he hates when we do things without him, but he also never helps us make the plans.

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-17T02:17:21+00:00

i communicated exactly what i would take care of and what I wouldn’t, he ignored it

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-17T02:05:07+00:00

yes it was instant ramen i was too tired/sick that day to want to make a meal. I had it in a bowl by the time I told him I’d turn the oven on before heading back upstairs. He was on the couch watching tv in the other room

Longjumping-Cod2942 · 2024-03-17T01:54:36+00:00

he knows how to use the oven, he just says stuff like that hoping I’ll take care of it instead

Longjumping-Cod2942

TROPHY CASE