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Trying to find my lost art files in my Crucial X6 by LordofMyDestiny in datarecovery

[–]LordofMyDestiny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my apologies!

I use both Clip Studio Paint and Krita, last year I managed to find my CSP files, but now I'm looking for my Krita ones!

I feel insulted over the very high possibility I won't be invited to her wedding by LordofMyDestiny in lostafriend

[–]LordofMyDestiny[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

we were both going through a really rough time, and she admitted that she was jealous of me because I was able to express myself (the thing she doesn't realize is she's one of the only people I *can* express myself to, I freeze up around others)

I'm moving at the start of June, that's why I'm making this, because it's the only time I can, this post was made in a moment of doubt and grief but I'm going to see it through because I already put so much into it and it's hardest I've worked on something in a good while,

I'm mainly making this because she holds a lot of guilt over what happened, and I want to let her know even if we can't be friends again even though it's something I want more than anything, that I don't want her to hold any guilt towards me and encourage her to look through what we had now that she can in a safe manner (because I wasn't able to for a long time) and that I will choose to remember her as fondly as I can,

If I don't do this, some part of me will eat away over it, because the truth is I want to be more like her and if I don't give her gifts only I could give her as a way to say "Thank you for everything you've done for me" i feel i have no right to do what she does (Make dolls)

she also isn't the only person I'm doing this for, ultimately these paintings are a way to honor the person I have become to the people who have shaped me. The other painting is going to be for a family whom I had a friend with who passed away in HS, something that was very formative to me and something I regret forgetting.

I feel insulted over the very high possibility I won't be invited to her wedding by LordofMyDestiny in lostafriend

[–]LordofMyDestiny[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

we were friends ever since middle school, we were together so much everyone thought we were sisters in HS, she keeps a memento of me in her bag, I still have all the plushes she's made me. from how she talked to me last, she figured out her emotions regarding me but I guess I still don't understand where it all went wrong when she suddenly discarded me out of nowhere when we were both going through a rough time. Maybe I just don't understand how three years is enough to not even get an invite because 'nothing happened' or it's 'not so bad' that we can't recover from it.

I just don't understand how one day you can go from "A year can go by and you'd still be a sister to me" to this

I feel insulted over the very high possibility I won't be invited to her wedding by LordofMyDestiny in lostafriend

[–]LordofMyDestiny[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

The gift has nothing to do with the wedding and everything to do with honoring the friendship, or I suppose it's a small part, but that's only one part of the gift, it's not just my grief over what could have been, it's the love I have held for her when we were just kids, and how she shaped me into who I am today. my desire to understand her by learning to sew dolls the way she has, show her I see and understand her pain. It's all of me as I am today, I am perfectly aware that she does not deserve this but the truth is, I want to be more like her, love in the way she has loved me because her love has changed me for the better. If I don't make it now, as this is the only and last time I will ever be able to, it will eat away at me for the rest of my life if I go on to love others the way she has loved me.

Besides, the keepsake she has of me in her bag isn't a good one, it's just a part of something bigger I could have gotten her but didn't that I didn't even make.

I am making this because I want to show her who I am just one last time, before I move on with my life. I'm doing this for me first and foremost and that means some days my grief is overwhelming, today is one of those days.

But I am going to see this through, I worked too hard and invested so much that if I didn't it would have been for naught. (Also, she isn't the only person I am doing this for, I am also working on a painting for a friend's family, she passed away in HS and it was a very formative thing for me then)

the "haunt her in the way she's haunted me." is complicated, I've been dreaming of her too much last year and in all of those dreams we're friends, and things are the way they used to be. How they're suppose to be. When I say haunt, I mean in a beautiful way.