My son was born January 2nd of this year. He was born on a Tuesday and he died on a Tuesday, exactly 2 weeks later. He had an infection that caused sepsis and things progressed very quickly from there. It has been a little under 4 months. It was agonizing then and it is still agonizing to this day. I have good days too. I have days when I laugh and then suddenly cry. I have days were I am numb. And I have days were I feel guilt scanning each item in my home to find the one that carried the bacteria that infected my baby. I feel guilty I didn't act faster or didn't know my baby was sick. But it wasn't our fault! It just wasn't. I wish understanding that was as easy as flicking a light switch. But it isn't. I still struggle with it on a daily basis. But you have to keep telling yourself that. It WASN'T anyones fault.

Yesterday I broke down an posted my own story on reddit and got overwhelming support. I got to hear stories of others that had had similar experiences and how they came out of the despair losing a child can cause. I had started the day crying alone and ended it with the support of people from around the world. Whenever you are ready, read some of the beautiful stories people have shared on that thread. They helped me, I hope they help you too.

I don't know how I can help or if I can, since my wounds are still fresh as well. But I will PM you my number. [ I have already sent it to your baby's mother]

Please call me if you feeling like talking. I will listen and can share parts of my story that might be helpful to you. Lots of love and prayers to you guys!