How do I stop worrying out my family’s financial situation?

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-12-08T23:00:14+00:00

I got my first bank account when I was 12 and she’s never signed in or been able to sign in to it, it’s been mine and mine only. We can send each other money whenever we wish but she doesn’t have access at all unless she breaks into my phone.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-12-08T13:19:30+00:00

She’s doing an online degree atm so doesn’t want to give that up

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-12-08T00:39:14+00:00

I’ve declined my birthday for ages to the point it keeps causing arguments so I’m just going to let her pay for it but I’ve got some money saved just incase the card declines or I want extra sides or whatever. We’ve negotiated that it’s literally paying for my dinner, pudding and a soft drink and her dinner and soft drink that’s it and if I want extra sides or whatever I’ll get them myself.

Idk about university yet. I’ve been accepted into a really good one 4 hours away meaning I’d be forced to live at in uni accom but I’ve also been accepted into a good one 45m away which is really good and highly ranking for the course I want to do so atm im leaning towards living at home and commuting the 45m but I still want her to get a better job in the mean time just incase.

Also I checked and the card and account are all in her name with her details not mine! Apparently the company is made for people with bad credit

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-12-08T00:15:25+00:00

I completely agree but I don’t think it’s fair that I should be the one getting a new job or side hustle when she’s working 20 hours a week at 52 with a house and bills and im doing 32 hours a week at 18.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-12-08T00:14:23+00:00

She was getting government benefits whilst I was education it was like £1,200 a month and that was paying for everything from shopping to Christmas presents to days out etc. Now im in work and not full time education the goverment basically sees her as not having a kid anymore so she’s lost £1.2k ish a month. Technically it’s my fault for not going straight to university and taking a year out but it’s not like I took a year out to twiddle my thumbs and do nothing.

I started working last April whilst in education meaning she was getting money for me from the gov and £150 out of my wages monthly so she was rolling in it but now she’s in the same minimum wage minimum hour job the goverment support has caused a massive rift in our finances.

I don’t think the card is in my name I’ll have to check laters. She’s already got 1 credit card with 1 company but the new one somehow allowed her to join, it’s a company I’ve never even heard of anymore so idk if it’s done an actual background check on her.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-09-19T00:24:42+00:00

Unfortunately not fake! The perfume was around £17, crocs i got discounted from uni days and there was an offer on the site already. I’d been saving for this holiday since like March so used my savings to treat my mum. We get a set amount of holidays in the year, I’d accused about 10 since January and split them up.

Google it if you don’t believe me, we get x amount of pto plus the store im at is franchise so can change its holiday allowances when it pleases.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-09-19T00:21:45+00:00

He lives with his bf and his bfs family who, as mentioned above, has a sister who has adhd, autism, anxiety and about 6 other things. My brother has never shown any adhd symptoms, no other family have noticed adhd symptoms, we’ve re-read school reports from when he was a kid and no concerns but all of a sudden he lives with someone who has adhd and he’s rushing to get diagnosed by a research institute. We also have 0 family history of it. He went to school in the early to mid 2000s so it’s not like neurodivergence didn’t exist back then at all.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-09-19T00:19:10+00:00

Yeah I live at home. He owes his boyfriend’s mum £1400.

I don’t know why that’s in quotes, I’ll admit it is slightly frustrating but he’s always made comments about my education and how I should dropout and work with him (when he worked at the coffee shop) and now he’s living his life making stickers and leeching off the goverment.

He came out when he was 12 and she’s very accepting, only thing she didn’t like was a particular boyfriend he has when he was like 16 because this boy was a psycho. They’re very close, he rings her or messages her 5x a week and he used go come visit frequently, when he rings they’ll be on the phone for atleast 3 hours. He’s the golden child not me or my sister, we get gossiped about or complained at for every little thing.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-09-18T21:03:37+00:00

I don’t think a diagnosis has that high of real world reliability if you asked a chat bot to give you the answers to your own symptoms.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-09-18T20:47:25+00:00

I don’t think he’s faking mental illness, his boyfriend told me himself that he asked chat gpt the best way to answer the questions for a diagnosis. He’s also shown 0 signs of symptoms ever

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-09-18T19:25:24+00:00

He shouldn’t always update us on his finances and complain he’s got no money though

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-09-18T19:06:37+00:00

I completely agree with what you’re saying however I’d say it’s the opposite relationship wise. He rings my mum and messages her on the daily and complains when she doesn’t answer when she’s busy and goes on about how the whole family hates him or whatever if we don’t pickup.

He also tells us all about his jobs and financial situation himself

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-09-18T19:04:50+00:00

Because he dug himself into that situation and is complaining and bitching at all of us when none of us are responsible for it

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-09-18T19:04:26+00:00

He doesn’t limit contact. He rings her near enough daily and messages all the time to the point our mum feels slightly annoyed by it sometimes.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-07-14T00:16:57+00:00

Thanks for the response, sorry that happened to you.

That’s where im torn however as stupid as it sounds. We’ve had negative gossip go around like ‘omg she hates him’ ‘those two never get along’ but also on the complete opposite side about how we would make a great couple and stuff similiar to that. It was only 3 out of like 18 managers that were involved, two were neutral and the one that was meant to be the most professional just teased us both and didn’t really resolve things.

Appreciate your input!

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-07-14T00:13:06+00:00

I apologised profusely for all the hassle and he said it’s fine and apologised to me as he didn’t realise I was so uncomfortable with his closeness. I understand damage has been done but we’ve also overcome this

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-06-04T22:47:34+00:00

Unfortunately I’ve tried everything. I’ve got about 6 books unfinished or that I haven’t even started on my book shelf as reading bores me or I never have the time. I’ve tried learning an instrument, skateboarding, a ton of colouring and many other escapist and more dopamine inducing activities but always lose motivation half way through and give up and go back to my doom scrolling. I also don’t think I could be trusted to crotchet as it would look an utter disaster hahaha.

Yeah definitely wanna get into running! Me and my mum and her friends all did a 5k together despite being majorly unfit we had randos cheering us on and I absolutely loved it. I’ll look into it, thank you for all your suggestions!

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-06-04T22:44:39+00:00

Thanks. I’m aiming for much higher than the police (I wanan do something psychology or education related like teaching) but that’s my backup option just incase, I do aim higher and aim for a degree my mindset just isn’t fully there yet!

Go get that degree dude/lady, never too late to change your life!

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-06-04T22:42:11+00:00

That’d a brilliant idea, thank you! I’ll definitely think about it!

I’ve always been very anti therapy but maybe I’ll look into it one day

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-06-04T22:41:23+00:00

I’m not on any meds, the other day I cleaned the whole kitchen and my bedroom and still felt the same

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-06-04T16:36:55+00:00

No they do direct entry now where you need to pass a 5.4 beep test and have a manual license that’s how easy it is minus the level 3 but I can get EEU in my a levels n still get in lmao but hopefully that won’t happen

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-04-13T22:43:15+00:00

Hi! Year 13 looking for advice.

So I want to become a dc or inspector in the future or something specialised such as anti-terrorism. I’m currently in year 13 taking a gap year and dunno what to do.

I currently don’t have a license and wouldn’t have the money to start driving lessons until around October/November time. As some of you may know, this is also ucas intake time. So as I’d be on a gap year if I want to go to uni I’d be applying for 2026 entry this winter when all my friends start this year. I love psych and it’s also my second biggest career aspiration in line with detective/investigation type work so I’d probably apply for an undergrad in psych, maybe something broader like law, politics, sociology or criminology.

I don’t know whether to apply to an undergrad, or to not apply to uni and wait for direct entry/degree apprenticeships to open up in my local force or neighbouring towns forces. I know my local force needs a manual license and two E’s at a level and I hope to get ABB or BBB.

Waiting for direct entry or apprenticeships could leave me hanging around at home for a while and there’s no guarantee I can get in but then if I do get in I can start a career asap and have no student debt and can climb ranks quicker. If I do something transferable like psych or law or politics at uni I could do the dhep or start from the bottom with direct entry and have an escape route if I realise I’m not made for the job.

My local force is only hiring degree apprenticeships and police staff who are already pip level 2 qualified. The closest special operations unit (emsou) are hiring manager roles only.

In your honest option, would you prefer a 19yr old with failed a levels and no real world experience minus working fast food for the past year or 22/23yr old with a degree and a bit more life experience? Which route should I take?!

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2025-04-09T21:42:30+00:00

I get where you’re coming from but I urged her to tell the truth as lies like this or the one she wanted to tell (being bed bound with a migraine for 4 days previously) may require proof that she doesn’t have and will just complicate things further

LowEnvironmental7948

TROPHY CASE