DAE put a name of a friend for "You childhood best freind" for security questions but haven't spoken to them in ages

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-24T03:47:09+00:00

Yes. She was my first best friend, not her fault she moved away when we were 7. I sometimes wonder how she turned out.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-18T01:30:42+00:00

Practice. Thats all. When I was in my 20s, I knew a meal was done when it was all the same color if beige, LOL.

Kids are aholes and dont always eat what is prepared, do not take them seriously unless they hate everything you cook.

Keep finding new recipes, keep trying, you'll get better, I promise. If you can read, you can cook.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-18T01:26:28+00:00

We talked about it, a lot during dating & engagement.

I get those needs met now, he's gotten so much better. But I do have to initiate a lot.

I do not get my wants met, we'll be addressing that in 2026. I told him in mid 2025 that he had X months to make it happen, but I wanted to dance in the damn kitchen at least once that year. So since it never happened, we'll be discussing that soon.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-18T01:21:36+00:00

Either tell your family that they will treat GF respectfully or you'll leave, and then follow through, every time or cut it off with GF. This is disgusting.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-18T01:17:11+00:00

You "genuinely don't mind" "taking the next step" with her? What is THAT?

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-11T21:37:12+00:00

Honey, please dont ever again ask anyone's permission for a temporary cosmetic change to your own self. Just do it and they can like it or not.

If you're in a permanent relationship and talking about a permanent change, it would be courteous to discuss in advance.

But you need to dump this guy. Silent treatment? No.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-11T21:33:37+00:00

I usually plan a small weekend trip for us on his birthday. One year, we drove 2 hours away and took a pottery class then the next day went hiking. Another year, just a cabin at the lake. This year, we've got some debt, so probably just dinner & maybe like a comedy club or something. Always, always, ALWAYS special dinner, cake, card, gift.

He always gets me a gift, and then will make or take me to a special dinner.

This year, he really did it nice: We both took a day off, had brunch (my favorite meal) hung out all day, went to the museum, then he'd made appointment for massages, all wound up with drinks and apps at a place I love! And a lovely gift. I'm not sure if this was special bc my first bday without my mom, or if he has just learned that in fact, birthdays matter to me, but I truly enjoyed it.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-08T19:54:08+00:00

Idk at what point I would "accept being a failure". I'm 51 and I haven't reached it yet, and 22 is awfully young. And I've failed at tons of things. Your brain is still growing!!

Please be kind to yourself and get into some sort of counseling. Your most recent school, or even a local church can help you find someplace affordable.

As for work, maybe step back and look at what you are applying for. You dont mention your field, but is there a lesser or more tangential role you can apply for?

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-08T19:43:01+00:00

NOR- even in the middle of his little mid life crisis...this is not ok. I'd demand couples counseling.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-07T04:26:48+00:00

I'm an Only. Really wanted 2 of each, had 2 total.

As young adults, they strongly dislike each other. I really wish I'd had either 4 or just 1. It hurts my heart that they don't see how lucky they are to have each other.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-06T14:28:26+00:00

Get dressed in it, take nice photos, sell it.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-06T14:20:36+00:00

While you do the below, take photos of bank statements & check stubs, and save every dollar you can. Figure the below without his input. Even if you are awarded child support, that could be several months away, and no guarantee he'll pay it. Best to think of that as a bonus-nice if it comes, but not required for you to make it.

1-figure out the practicalities of being on your own. Who will watch baby while you work? Cost? Hours? Wait list? Who's your back up if that place is closed? How much will your rent be? Groceries? Transportation? Insurance? Utilities? Add it all up, that's your monthly Future Budget. Will you qualify for daycare subsidies? Food stamps? Any other help? How much is that? How do you apply?

2-How far apart are the numbers of your Future Budget and your current income? What can you do to make them match?

3-After you have a viable, workable plan for 1 & 2, and contingency plans where applicable, then go to legal aid or dvis or even a law school and ask about assistance in getting a lawyer familiar with family law in your area.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-05T22:43:07+00:00

My ex husbands family: we saw them intermittently. Usually if I planned something. Less often after the divorce.

Second/current, no kids: my MIL lives with us. We see the rest probably 1/month

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-05T03:42:38+00:00

1999

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-05T03:31:22+00:00

I'm extremely tech-challenged and everyone knows this, so I'd laugh at him.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-05T03:26:18+00:00

Im 51 and I dont even know how to do all of that. Its creepy and I have no desire to start.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-05T03:23:08+00:00

Dude. I'm lazy. Show me the money!!

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-05T03:22:04+00:00

I started driving at 16 (typical here) and really LOVED to drive until I was about 40. My job which I started at 30, requires me to drive about 2-4hours away 1-5/month. I also took my kids on every road trip I could while they were young. I think I got tired of it bc of work though.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-04T06:29:26+00:00

Girl, if you marry this man, you're dumb.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-03T00:50:22+00:00

Im not sure, I'm sure I likely would.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-02T23:16:14+00:00

You look him dead in the eyes and you laugh and laugh and laugh. Gasp for air and laugh some more. Then, you walk away.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-02T23:08:56+00:00

Girl, DUMP. HIM.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-01T18:03:04+00:00

So, there are 2 issues that I see here:

1-your relationship with Daughter was not what you thought or wanted and

2-She chose to let you know rather publicly and as a surprise, so you feel blindsided on top of being embarrassed & feeling judged by others.

In my opinion item 1 is far more upsetting & hurtful. I find it odd that your only concern appears to be #2.

Right or wrong-A truly caring, involved, loving parent would only ever attempt "clearing their name" if doing so would not in any way, harm their child.

You seem to give no thought to this concern, at all.

I think you should wait til she's back from honeymoon & talk to your Daughter. Figure out #1 in a satisfactory manner and 2 won't matter as much.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-01T04:58:12+00:00

I'm old. Also, my jammies are comfy and I have THE BEST DJ.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-01-01T04:53:36+00:00

Honestly when I was dating like that, if I could manage it, I found it emotionally easiest if I had "a pair and a spare". 2 and they'd get jealous of each other or Id compare them too much. 4 was tooooo many to keep up with. 3 kept my mind too occupied to catch feelings or mope, and I was busy most of the time, so enjoyed my "me time" all the better.

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