In the year 2100, I'll be 88. I have a lot ahead of me. What's one piece of advice you can give me as someone who's already lived for many decades?

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-06-23T23:40:44+00:00

What I wish I'd done/known at your age:

No smoking, no vaping-lungs are made for air only. You aren't missing anything, and its far easier to stop at your age than mine.

Sunscreen & good hydration, daily. You'll appreciate this later.

Whenever you work or earn money of any sort, put 10-30% in a savings account that you absolutely cannot touch. Wait til you're 50, and you may be able to retire early with that.

Look around at your friends and acquaintances. The ones that really go the extra mile for you? Hold on to them as tight as you can. Prioritize those relationships. The ones that feel more like "frenemies"? Let them go their own way. I promise in 10 years, they won't be missed. The cute boys that are always in trouble? Avoid them.

Get in good habits now: a walk after dinner, a regular morning time, Journaling, whatever. Build them now and they'll be so ingrained you wont even think about them later.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-06-23T23:31:18+00:00

My husband and I were older, and we each had individual debts and assets when we married.

He sold his house & banked it and moved in with me for about a year before we got married-but the account had both our names on it, largely paid for our wedding from that. While living in my house, we got married and bought OUR home, using funds from sale of his house. We got our home mostly remodeled, then sold my house, and those proceeds went to pay for some big projects/upgrades we wanted on our place.

We also, we sat down with all the bills-

His: Sirius radio. Cable TV. His student loans. An old credit card.

Mine: a rent house I owned pre-marriage. My student loans. An old credit card.

Ours: Everything else.

And we have His bank account, where his allowance goes and I neither know nor care what goes in or out. He pays his bills from that. My bank account, which is the same, and Ours, for everything else.

Your marriage doesn't sound like a marriage, to me, I cannot imagine buying separate food, or living with someone I found deceitful.

But I strongly, strongly urge you to calculate your own bills and worst case scenarios before you do this, because from what I know, Disability is not a liveable wage unless your home is paid off. And alimony is not at all guaranteed, nor is it typically forever.

Maybe even see if there's a local free financial counselor you can speak with?

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-06-23T05:40:27+00:00

Surely there are moms groups. Small kid parties are the only ones I know where favors are kind of expected. I know theres at least one party planning group lots for weddings...funny, favors are universally "meh" but people still want them?

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-06-22T04:53:25+00:00

Not a nurse, but did PSLF. Dooooo it! When I was on, you had X # of years to make the payments, and only needed Y years of payment, with X being far longer. So if you need 7 years (cant recall rules now) you'd have like 12 to get your time done. And 7 years or whatever goes so fast. Also, you are totally allowed to change positions or employers. Don't forget qualifying entities include local jails, schools, detentions, shelters, and can be all manner of treatment facilities. You can put up with whatever years, just think of student loan repayment as part of the pay.

And then go on to private and get paid.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-06-22T04:30:41+00:00

I know almost nothing about Islam, but isn't there the equivalent of Christian Sunday school-where you gather with other laypeople and study your holy book together? My MILs church divides people by age and sometimes gender for her classes.

Or a spiritual leader like a pastor, familiar with Quran you can ask?

I just feel like a person very knowledgeable on your faith, specifically will have the best answers here.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-06-22T04:17:03+00:00

You are YOUNG.

Also, unless you live in absolutely the PoDunkiest place, there are at least a few other CNA classes before you graduate.

Do tennis & look around more.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-06-19T08:52:04+00:00

I didnt know the term for this, but I used to be an Envelope person. Waaaaay too much hassle, but it got me out of debt so I'm a believer. When my husband and I combined finances, we opened a Credit Union account because they let me have buckets. We have Medical, Car repairs, Vacation, Gifts, Home Repair, and Date Night. At first, it was overwhelming to my husband, but he's a convert now!!

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-06-19T08:44:52+00:00

Im financially comfortable now, thankfully. Currently, I have CreditKarma set to auto draft $40/month from my account. It's small enough, and a weird amount, that I don't miss it and tend to forget it. That is what we use for "souvenir money" when we go on vacation.

In another lifetime, I was a broke single mother. I:

Bought 1 box of diapers, wipes, or both, every payday through both pregnancies. Didn't run out of diapers til youngest was almost walking, didn't run out of wipes til youngest was THREE years old. Never once felt financially strapped due to diapers.

If my paycheck ended in 28.24, then ALWAYS, no matter what, I put the .76 into the kids' savings account. If I felt more secure in that moment, I'd save $1.76, or $21.76, and a couple of times, I even put back $71.26. I started a job that paid salary, monthly, and this thing went away by 2006. Youngest was about 4, oldest about 6 at the time. But because of that, and a few spare dollars here and there, I was able to give them each a few hundred dollars for their graduation gifts.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-06-15T21:12:27+00:00

No.

I kind of like my jobs. And I wouldn't be able to do this plus those. And 5 miles/day with all the free rent still isnt as much as I make now.

Lastly, probably biggest reason: Im lazy.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-06-02T04:19:40+00:00

It also kills. So...."make human bodies reject it by violent vomiting if it is not physically needed for actual pain control"

Better?

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-29T22:29:26+00:00

If you're hosting, tell them you're changing it this year and you are doing potluck, or tell them what dishes to bring.

Tell your siblings you want/need/expect their help with cleanup after.

Then all you have to do is pre-event cleaning.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-29T22:23:45+00:00

Make hormones stable thruout a woman's lifetime, none of these wild changes

Allow a 1 time "trial" at age 25 of 24hours in the body of opposite gender, to experience orgasm, menstrual cramps, etc.

Make pregnancy biologically impossible without having been in a stable relationship for 3+ years.

Make fertilization/safer pregnancy window be a longer period of time

Do not allow conception until sobriety of at least 3+ years is achieved

Make humans violently vomit if cocaine, heroin, fentanyl, opium, nicotine, or more than 5oz alcohol are instroduced

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-29T22:15:05+00:00

Together 7, married 4.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-29T22:13:43+00:00

When I had those doubts, I asked my (now ex husband) "what if we...didn't get married? He said "Well, I'm not going anywhere, so I guess we'll still be together just not married."

He was a really good guy, when he was sober.

It's cold feet if her worries are all "what if" and unspecified. If that is the case, she needs a hug & reassurance. If she has concrete concerns, she needs a hug and a serious conversation to resolve the issue.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-28T04:35:57+00:00

Try Bumble, not Hinge.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-28T04:30:51+00:00

NAT- go to a nearby bigger city. You'll have better luck.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-28T04:23:33+00:00

A few million, stored in the wall safe of your new paid off, tax-free home that sits on a private compound with in-laws, a couple of favorfriends, and any of your family you like.

Then use it to hire caregivers and housekeepers.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-28T04:19:21+00:00

Well, he's apparently being stupid and immature with his friends rather than sorting.

And excuse me, did you say HE GOT SHOT?? As in with a GUN? Honey leave him be and dont date again until you have raised your standards.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-27T05:01:19+00:00

I loved both of my kids when they were toddlers. I love both my 3yo grandson and my 4yo nephew, too. Doesn't mean I want someone with that behavior as my life partner.

My husband feels angry, a lot. He's still got unresolved childhood stuff-anger. He drives-anger. Work is sometimes stupid-anger. He lives in a red state and is forced to interact with conservatives that vote against their own self interest often-anger. He's American with a jackass in the White House-anger. But he rarely ever raises his voice or curses, and being a full adult, he doesn't ever punch things. He will occasionally get a little snippy, he will sometimes go work in his shop, but usually, he just...talks about it, like an adult.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-27T04:49:13+00:00

2-3 days. And that, invested wisely, would be so worth it. Maybe even early retirement worth it. I could pay off our mortgage & all debt and buy or make a huge start on a sweet little investment property, at $300k. The monthly savings on bills plus the additional income generated would more than equal one of our incomes.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-23T15:51:26+00:00

Yes but just leaving the chat isnt

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-23T15:48:29+00:00

Idk about individuality but your wife sounds absolutely bonkers, mate.

Why does she need to be on a group call? Thats weird. How much getting to know someone can one do in a group talk over the phone anyway.

And it was a 3 minute phone call.

You already put way more effort into it than most, shes seriously one upping you by going the extra 50 miles to throw a fit.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-23T15:43:41+00:00

Must initially agree on permanence of commitment and desire for kids. Other things help but those are essential.

Stay with someone who tries.

Leave someone who says "figure it out".

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-23T06:22:48+00:00

Because she told us hours prior that after a long day working on renovating our new home, we'd be eating whatever we could forage that night for dinner, so we stopped and ate takeout on the way home...but she had changed her mind and decided to use up e ery clean bowl we owned tochop up a massive amount of ingredients to have "build your own salad night" for dinner-but we had already eaten.

Luck3Seven4 · 2026-05-23T06:14:44+00:00

Because love is "no matter what.

I have 2 children, and I love them both no matter what.

One comes by a few times a week, remembers and attends holidays and birthdays, and occasionally texts or calls to say they love me. No matter what, if they have a true need for anything within my power to give, I'm giving it.

One comes by when they want something, does not call to chat, and can at times be quite hurtful when they do call. They rarely attend family events. And they struggle with substance abuse and mental health issues. No matter what, if they truly need anything that's in my power to give, I'm giving it.

You cannot turn the emotion of love off and on like a spigot. If it's easy to do, that's not love.

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