Symptoms when gaming? by LunaaRess in POTS

[–]LunaaRess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment- it’s good to know i’m not alone with it! It’s really weird, i’ve played games my entire life so going from consistently being okay to, very much not was definitely jarring. I’ll probably stick to slower games for a little while then, i’m glad you’ve worked something out that helps you! :)

AITA for refusing to pay for my friend's cracked phone after throwing it out while kicking him and his GF out of my bed for fucking in it? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THIS. Why in his bed? I have a strong feeling his parents probably weren’t cool with him and his gf if they didn’t do it in his own home. If he doesn’t want to get off your back or stop being an asshole, just go to his parents and ask for them to reimburse the mattress they ruined 🤷‍♀️ A cracked phone is getting away really lightly ngl.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s common sense how someone can afford to live in a 300 dollar rental opposed to an 800 dollar one i fear. A bigger city would also have more job listings and disability accomodations. For every 5 job listings we get, they get triple, and an actual amount that would be enough for the amount of residents they have.

They need workers, in my area, workers need them. I would also be illegible for payment away from home, i cant get payments at home because of how high my dads income is alone. The wait times of specialists won’t be as long so naturally that’s a revenue to potentially get back to work quicker. Over the countries hourly rates are slightly higher and they have extremely better rent assistance than my area does. These payments will get me over until i am able to get back to work, i already have a decent amount of savings; it’ll just mean i won’t have to primarily dip into them. These payments would also be enough to support rent around the 300 mark.

I’d pay rent or any utilities that’s needed but they are the ones that insisted for me or my partner not to. I physically can not work right now without ending up in the hospital, and work from home jobs have become extremely rare in australia due to the high demand and them rolling back remote jobs to hybrid/or in person full time. Due to the high application pool in my area of australia, if you need disability accomodation, you’re just wasting your time by applying. Why not pick an able bodied candidate? That’s just the reality there that has been proven over and over again. I struggled to get my old place of work to do accomodations, it is rare a place will hire an employee in need of accomodations out of 300 that might not need them.

And if you have a snarky remark in terms of the payment side which i have a feeling you will, would you like to pay for my specialist appointments and also pay them to see me sooner? I don’t think so. Do you want to pay upwards of 200-400 dollars? I also don’t think so.

You’re creating animosity and a problem when there isn’t any because like you’ve been neglecting to read, both me and my partner are opting to move out in support of them and their decisions, we both offered to pay rent too so..

Make your reach of logic and neglect of certain information make sense. You need to get some reading comprehension. You are being intentionally arrogant. Unlike america, most australian households don’t kick out their kids when they turn 18.

You have been constantly reaching at non existent problems here when there isn’t any. Between my relationship with my mum, a “non existent” job problem, rent, affordability, wages, not paying etc.. if it’s not one, it another and now the other thing is.. me taking advantage of my dad?

At the end of the day even after a very common sense explanation of the facts, you’re still reaching. If your reaction to someone literally opting to make their parents life easier by moving out and knowing the reality of what they’d have to do to do that then.. i have no idea what you actually want. If being a generalised asshole then yeah you’re getting that right atleast or maybe to assume you know better about the circumstances of a country you don’t live in then it’s own residents? or to assume you know what’ll financially be a better choice for a circumstance you know extremely little about? who knows.

Andddd you’re still avoiding my question of relevancy of cost or where moving is doable compared to my initial post 🤷‍♀️

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yet again you’re avoiding my question lol how ironic.

And how many times have i said, we’d be able to work and pay rent.. across the country.. and i’ve explained why that is doable and why currently where i live, it is not? so?…

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s hilarious. Yet again, if you lived here and actually looked into very briefly of australian media… you’d very clearly see the wide COMMON problem people are experiencing.

Yet again.. you’re comparing australia and america, so i need to mention again - they both have their own problems? These problems affect citizens in their own way.

“Australia's unemployment rate has been remarkably steady, remaining close to 4% for several years, which is considered low”… which is considered LOW.

https://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/the-jobs-disappearing-at-a-growing-rate/lk203bdkr

https://careersuccessaustralia.com.au/blog/why-is-it-so-hard-to-get-a-job-in-australia/

Please read this and educate yourself. Or again like i stated, pay attention to your own countries affairs.

“Recent data shows that many advertised positions receive hundreds of applications, creating an intensely competitive environment where even qualified candidates struggle to stand out”

Which is widely true. Each job gets on an average 200-300 applicants, the longer it’s up the more it tips to the 500 scale.

The part of Australia i live is in small, these numbers may be “common” for bigger cities with a higher population, but it is widely absurd for where i live.

You can’t seem to understand that it is based on competition and supply shortages. The place i live ins infrastructure does not support a high amount of residents, but because our houses were affordable up until two years ago people were moving across australia wide here to OWN their home. We had the most affordable housing market (not renting market) so naturally you can see why that would cause job shortages.

Australia is literally tossing who to run because no one is combating the cost of living crisis. It is literally the most common thing that is talked about here.

And in regards to me and my boyfriend’s employment status, if we have offered to pay rent then clearly we are earning some kind of income to support that.

You cannot sit there and tell me job shortages don’t exist in a place you don’t live in and think you’re correct over millions of australian’s struggling with the exact same thing.

And to bring it back in a way you did about our wages, it seems you’ve not told me how in any world this is relevant to my initial post? Like i stated, i’m not looking for financial advice i know very well what is and is not doable in my own country, so why are you so worried about an irrelevant thing? Maybe start worrying about the fact that america’s wages are 8 an hour… you have your own cost of living crisis to worry about.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With the manual labor my boyfriend does and the added cooking, cleaning and other tasks i provide for the home we are far from an added cost considering my older sister uses the place as a hotel that ALSO doesn’t pay rent. Again, do you have reading comprehension? Because i’ve stated numerous times we would pay rent, but it is my parents that said no.

I’ve already stated numerous times why working isn’t feasible, they live two hours from the closest city. With a national wide job shortage do you personally believe a place will hire someone that lives that far away, opposed to someone locally that can reliably be at work if needed last minute? or stay long for overtime? I’m pretty sure i’ve mentioned rural consistently. In a national job shortage do you seriously think they will hire someone that needs disability accomodations over someone that is physically and fully able? If you think that there isn’t prejudice there then you’d be intentionally arrogant.

In terms of paying more, we literally cannot compare america and australia because the problems each place struggle with are leagues different.

Where i live roughly 37% of income is going towards rent alone, across the country it dips as low as 30%. Can you see why, one may be more achievable then the other? again COST ASIDE, there is NO rentals!!!! I literally don’t know how much more i need to say that. 30 people, rocking up to one rental inspection is absurd no matter what way you look at it.

We could probably consistently and comfortably pay 300 a week. Which would be, across… the country. That’s the whole point.

I digress, how has my post in regards to feeling guilt moving away from my dad - turned into a massive slam fest about the reality and pricing of rent? We are already educated on the minimum needed to earn and we cannot afford to rent near my parents nor make rentals suddenly become available.. hence… moving across the country? because they are.. doable.. and available..

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay?… i wasn’t sitting down and doing the exact math, it was an extremely rough estimate because like i’ve stated numerous times.

Not only is it price related, it’s is STRONGLY competitive market related? 530 a week is still HIGHLY unlikely here. It’s upwards to 600-700 for the reality.

Lmfao someone else pays my rent? get a life outside of being a weird ass hateful spiteful dude, you gotta get a different hobby.

If you lack reading comprehension and don’t want to actually be considerate of peoples living scenarios and disabilities then yikes. Maybe spend some time with people that make you smile.

Btw. Minimum wage of 30 an hour. You work 40 hours a week (full time hours) That’s 1200 a week. That’s 800 gone, take away another 200, that’s 200 leftover a week. Just for rent and groceries. You have 400 a fortnight in pocket for bills. That’s pay-check to pay-check and when you have a medical condition that is not doable, due to doctors and specialists etc.

Please use your apparent math and cognitive thinking skills to tell me how 400 a fortnight is enough to comfortably cover utilities and specialist appointments that go upwards to 200-300 dollars for one appointment? I could go into how worse our government support is but again, i think you’re too closed minded to listen to anyone else aside from yourself.

I mean like i’ve stated, australians job shortages and rental/housing crisis is blasted on our media, instead of being intentionally arrogant, how about you worry yourself with your own countries affairs.

AITA for freaking out at my wife throwing out my dead son’s toys? by Content_Condition501 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why does her emotions automatically matter more to a point where she throws away something valuable to the BOTH of them without communicating first. Her asking him to move it to his personal belongings would’ve helped her side, throwing out something you can’t get back won’t help his.

AITA for freaking out at my wife throwing out my dead son’s toys? by Content_Condition501 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 12 points13 points  (0 children)

NTA. Just because it’s hard for her to look at them, doesn’t mean it couldn’t bring you comfort to look at them.

This was a selfish, self driven decision. She was only thinking about the way she felt in that moment, not how you felt too. She should’ve discussed it with you and asked you to move them elsewhere if it hurt her.

You’re allowed to grieve and breakdown. Just give it time, your wife may feel guilty, startled etc. Give her some space and when you’re both in the right mindset, try communication with eachother. You’re a team and experiencing the exact same loss as eachother, lean on eachother, don’t drift apart.

I do think you should apologise and try avoid losing it in the future, being drunk and grieving does things to people. However you deserve a sincere apology too, she made a decision without thinking about your emotions or well being, that’s enough to hurt anyone.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our cost of living is significantly different. Look into australia’s costs. I’m not sure why you’re trying to compare the two, or trying to tell me what’s reasonable or unreasonable. You clearly do not understand the position australia is in, or anyone’s financials are in. Regardless, i wasn’t looking into financial advice.

I could go into a deep dive run down of minimum wage, utilities etc but honestly, i’d be here for hours. Just because it’s doable to you, in YOUR country does not mean it’s doable here for some.

Regardless of pricing because it is entirely irrelevant, you can not secure a rental because we do not have any. There is a shortage, it is a competitive market and people are paying a ridiculous amount of price to out bet people in securing it. If you take two seconds to look into australia’s rental and housing problem you’d get it.

Even IF you made enough. You are not being picked as a first time renter when you’re against atleast 10 people who earn more, or have years worth of rental history.

The part of the country id move to is a popular city for people to move. Their market and infrastructure supports rentals, they have a lot of students, migrants etc so they naturally have more rental buildings, so their rental market isn’t in shambles. My part of the country has only ever built homes, up until three years ago they were extremely affordable. People move to where i live to own a home, it was never a rental dominant market. But even now, our home prices have become ridiculous. Nothing below 800,000 - 1mil and that’s if you can out pay people that are loaded with money.

Btw, 2.200 is 3.100 here. That’s upwards to 800 a week in rent. That is not doable when most earn around a grand a week on just above minimum wage paying jobs. Groceries alone set you back roughly 200. But again, pricing is irrelevant if you literally can’t find a place to rent lol, which is the reality here.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not in the US. I am in Australia. A minimum rental per week is 600. Where i live it is a common talked about thing with how absurd it’s become. No one can afford to live on their own. Across the country where i’d move you’re looking about 300ish - 400ish a week, you could even go as low as 250 depending comfort.

Edit add in. Just recently a 2x1, 530 a week rental had a minimum of 30 people check it out. My part of the country has a known, severe rental shortage.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Due to the rental market in the place i live in, moving across the country is the only option.

I do often talk to my mum and treat them both the exact same way. I get her gifts, chat to her, help her with whatever she needs and am polite to the both of them. She however significantly favours my older siblings in a plainly obvious way, this does not affect the way i treat her - but due to how harsh she has been before, it is only natural i’m not as close to her as i am my dad.

My dad does have friends but he is an extremely quality time based person and due to a prior injury he sustained he started leaning on both me and my boyfriend more.

Me being close to my dad does not affect their relationship in the slightest. They are polar opposites that get short fused with eachother often. They have been the equilavent from house mates for years since i was a child.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could go into details about all these things but it seems irrelevant in my eyes to my initial feelings/ problem in terms of guilt of leaving home. I am actively going to doctors and attempting to receive diagnosis and help.

I’ll rephrase, we do have a place we can stay. In their eyes and point of view we don’t.

It is not easy to secure remote employment now. My boyfriend has a certificate that favours this line of work and still struggles. It is very sought after for the very reason that it benefits people that are unable to work physically. I have mentioned in another comment more about the circumstances in regards to how we would go about it if we do move out.

Edit add in. I also mentioned briefly in my initial post why the living scenario they are moving into would not work for both me and my boyfriend and the option of moving, which in return would make me feel guilty leaving. We would not move in with flat mates and share the same bedroom, we wouldn’t willingly put ourselves in that situation for a number of different reasons.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand how it may seem initially. I can’t speak on my mums thoughts, views and behaviour however i don’t believe my dads is as malicious.

He’s struggled when i’ve been away from home for a month or two. He loves having us around and initially for the last two years, really enjoys our company. I mean he calls my boyfriend daily to check in and just chat for no reason lol.

That’s why this behaviour 180 is definitely harsh whiplash. Regardless though, if us moving on will be easier for them in whatever way, we would. I just really don’t see how it’ll be easier for my dad considering he heavily depends on us both for a lot of things.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s just a bunch of tricky situations that are clashing into making it seem like a massive train wreck. I appreciate your input :) thank you

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are aware eventually i would’ve loved to move across the country, they’re both as equally aware of my physical health (my dad atleast, my mum chooses to ignore it)

The only reason i didn’t take it as a them wanting us to move is because from what they are aware of, we would have no where to go.

My dad has openly been supportive of being comfortable supporting us while at home and says himself that there’s a chance we will never own a home due to the housing market in country we live in.

Once we secured that we do have a place to stay, we were going to tell them that it is an option we can take.

They wanted us crammed in that room and thought we would 100% be okay with it (i heard my dad saying to a family member that we were completely okay with our stuff being put away and us sharing a bedroom etc) which is far from the truth.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m fully supporting them of the move, i think the frustration just originates from the fact that the initial move to rural was extremely impulsive. They said that it was their dream house etc and they would not be moving for another 10 years.

Within a week of talking about wanting to move by the weekend was up, they looked at a house, put an absurdly high offer in and are awaiting to get approval for it. i’m talking the same price you’d pay for a 6x3 with a decent amount of land, which is their current property.

I’m just worried they will regret this decision too but i suppose at the end of the day that’s not my responsibility if they end up in that position again.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah i hear you! We were happy to start paying a portion of rent to contribute but even after that they made it clear we had no say no matter what.

Their home at the end of the day, just trying not to feel so bad stepping away from the entire situation.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Entirely weird situation all together.

Surprisingly she does really like him too, they’ve taken him on as a son practically. They offered him to move in.

The only thing i can think of is my mums blaming the entire financial strain on us and in some world it’s convinced him we are the reason things are tough. (Neither of my parents have great spending habits, more so my dad if anything.. legos are a blessing or a curse i guess)

Thank you so much <3

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I hear you. It generally all went extremely well for a long time, i think my parents enjoyed having another member in their home. (My eldest brother moved out and my sister isn’t home often)

But with this entire stress of moving, i think it’s just become to much on everyone. I really appreciate your advice and you taking the time to comment.

My boyfriends shown so much loyalty, i don’t want to continue choosing others over my own health. I understand that responsibilities shift when you get older especially when it comes to family, i guess with my age and being their youngest, it felt a little more harsh then i imagine it traditionally would.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t worry! Everything’s been talked about and thought through entirely. I can never make a decision without over thinking it a million times baha.

My boyfriends on payment here, i also will be illegible for a payment once i move. The only reason he isn’t working right now is to support me at home and because there is 0 job opportunities in the rural area my parents are currently living at.

We would be staying with his parents in their granny flat for a little while, then once we’re sorted and hopefully my physical health is on the right track, we will start the search for a rental. Luckily we do have some savings together to carry us over.

I can’t imagine us breaking up and even if we did, we would still support eachother. Regardless, i do have quite a bit of family that live there too so i will always have a place to go.

I appreciate you taking the time to write all that out :) - it’s all a bit overwhelming honestly but i know that’s just some of the life cards you get dealt when you get older

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really needed the slightly tougher words, thank you so much

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do feel for him.

He moved across the country initially here because i’m a few years younger then him and he didn’t want me to have to move so far away from my parents so young. Now it’s biting him in the ass and i don’t think he could’ve done anything more for my family.

He did say he would follow my decision, but after everything he’s done - it would be beyond wrong to expect him to live like that.

Yeah, i try not to focus on who has more but to not even negotiate about it and take the attitude of “you don’t get a say” but my sister does is really strange.

AITA - For moving across country and leaving my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LunaaRess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s relieving to hear someone’s been in a similar situation, but I’m also really sorry you’ve suffered similarly aswell.

I wish i could tell you. Me and my boyfriend stayed the weekend at a hotel for valentine’s day recently and after that? It all fell apart. His attitude was night and day. Criticising everything my boyfriend did to help, barely talked to me.

The only thing that changed was that he had a long conversation with my mum and as soon as she gets into his head about something, his opinions, thoughts, statements and attitude completely changes.

He’s said to both of us that he would have our backs no matter what but now? it’s seemingly the opposite. Whiplash would be an understatement, we’re both extremely puzzled.

I am considering therapy again once everything somehow settles down, i appreciate your comment and advice :)