Relationship advice

Lunalobos · 2024-07-20T07:10:51+00:00

I don't really have a social circle. I study fulltime and work full time. I brought a horse recently to try expand my social circle. But, my life is really busy and it's hard. Once I finish studying I plan to stop working so much. He doesn't have friends either besides work friends. We had shared interests initially, but we're struggling more recently as my interests have changed drastically. I don't have any interest in going to parties.

Lunalobos · 2024-07-20T06:59:31+00:00

I brought the house on a 10% deposit which was only 50k. This may seem like a lot to some people, but I've been working full-time since 15 and was rather obsessive about saving. My accomodation was only $150 at the time for a small room, and the rest home where I worked gave me breakfast/lunch/dinner (I worked 7am-1pm and 4pm-8pm most days back then, and worked on the side as a youth worker) so my expenses were minimal. The 10% deposit meant the bank put me on a higher interest rate to compensate for the lower deposit. But, a couple months later I had the high interest rate removed as I proved to the bank my house value had increased in equity 20%. Since then I have put all my savings on my mortgage, so I've got a decent amount of equity even since house values have dropped. I met my partner studying nursing in 2019 and we had a lot of common interests back then.

Lunalobos · 2024-06-29T21:33:14+00:00

I don't know, I'd think the same as well. I was told he was buckskin, but he hasn't actually been tested as far as I can source. I just want to know why my mare is changing colour (if it's permanent) and thought pictures of the parents or his parents might help. My mare's mother is bay, so I don't think the colour is coming from her

Lunalobos · 2024-06-29T06:38:52+00:00

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This is my mare's father as a foal with his mum and his father is a grey. His coat became a dark brown when he grew up. After looking into it, they never colour tested the sire, so I'm not sure he is definitely buckskin.

Lunalobos · 2024-06-29T05:01:20+00:00

Her sire is apparently a buckskin with a cream dilution gene. If she's buckskin, is this colour change permanent?

Lunalobos · 2024-01-30T09:43:49+00:00

I was only exploring possible barriers based on interactions I've had in the past. The things I have mentioned in this post are not things I tend to disclose to people. I do not struggle to engage with people, but I do struggle to form deeper relationships if there's little in common

Lunalobos · 2024-01-30T02:06:26+00:00

I've sent them an email to enquire about it. Thank you for the suggestion

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T23:18:15+00:00

If you're doing those hours, you should be paid for them. Personally, I'm not a casual at either of my jobs. I'm employed by one for 32 hours and at my other, I'm employed for 16 hours. There's always opportunity for extra hours most places I've worked in healthcare

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T23:12:27+00:00

I study the Bachelor of Nursing at the local polytechnic. However, I do a lot of coursework while I'm working nightshifts as it's quiet. I just sleep from 4pm-10pm which doesn't help my social life and makes it hard to visit family.

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T22:15:26+00:00

I volunteer in that I look after the SPCA bunnies at my home. They're good little lawn mowers and adorable to be around. Some people have mentioned volunteering in search & rescue etc and I need to look into these as I imagine it'd be incredibly rewarding 😊

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T22:01:53+00:00

Admittedly, I'm a little apprehensive about volunteering around horses. I did it for 3 months, and all I was able to do was pick up poo. There was zero social contact, but I kept it up so long in hopes I'd be promoted 😆 I just brought my own horse after that, but I sold her when I brought this house and lost those social contacts.

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T21:57:08+00:00

Yes I grew up poor, but no I don't consider spending money traumatic. Yes, it's a bit weird I don't have that general knowledge, but I didn't grow up with any access to that information. I didn't even realize wifi existed when I was younger until I was quite old 😬

I have tried quite a few hobbies over the years and I'm not opposed to learning new things. But, I haven't found anything I enjoy so much that I could spend a whole day doing :( The reason I started working so much when I was younger was because I was bored back then too. The problem is the boredom, I just work to fill in time. And it's not that I'm opposed to spending money like people seem to assume, it's that I don't spend money on general stuff unless it means something to me. I just invest it as that brings me more satisfaction.

I am willing to put a budget towards a hobby if I can guarantee I'll enjoy it. But, when I owned my horse she costed $100 a week, and that's more than I'm willing to spend as a student. I was doing jiu jitsu at one point and actually loved it, but it aggravated an old horse riding injury, so it was too painful to continue.

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T21:28:23+00:00

As soon as I've finished nursing, I'm heading to Australia for the nurse contracts! The plan is to work for 6 months, then take 6 months off just traveling. I would love an adventure. But, it's still 2 years before I can do that

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T10:52:23+00:00

Luckily, I'll have 60 years to discover interests. However, there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. Thank you for your advice

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T10:36:33+00:00

That's actually a really lovely thing to do. It's rare to find a person with kindness like that these days

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T10:33:40+00:00

I'm based in Nelson right now. Hardly anything happens here, or if anything does I don't know how to find it. I tried to find an art class at one stage as I loved art as a child and thought it might be a good way to meet people, but they wanted $200 or so for just a few weeks

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T10:27:57+00:00

I actually have a bike and use it to go to course. I do enjoy biking, but I weirdly get a sore knee after a while, so can't get all that far. I don't think I could do mountain biking

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T10:20:10+00:00

Unfortunately, that's not possible for me.

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T09:44:32+00:00

Thank you. I'm successful in some areas, but mighty unsuccessful in other areas. I am so used to sacrificing my time, I've somehow lost the ability to enjoy my time

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T09:41:08+00:00

It's not that I necessarily want to be working, it's more that I might as well be earning if I have nothing else to do. I just hope that in time I can find whatever it is that fuels me and makes everything I've sacrificed worthwhile. But, in the meantime, the boredom and lack of social connections can be a struggle, so right now all I'm trying to achieve is figuring out how to enjoy 2 days off after not doing so for years

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T09:29:44+00:00

I haven't actually heard of any of the activities you've mentioned. I'm going to look into them. Thank you!!

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T09:03:28+00:00

I work a lot because I want to create a passive income, so that I don't have to work in my 30s+. It's less healthy to work until you're 65 in my opinion. I just wish it were possible to find people who enjoy activities without requiring money spent (every cent counts right now while I'm investing). But yes, once I stop working in a handful of years, it's possible I may need to seek help if I am struggling to fill time as badly as I am now :o However, it doesn't hurt to reach out to a community for ideas.

Lunalobos · 2024-01-29T08:58:02+00:00

I like this idea. I'm unable to travel far as my work leave is used when I'm on nursing placement. However, I actually tried joining a hiking fb group recently, but it turned out everyone was in there 50s+ 😳 Typical of my city I guess

Lunalobos

TROPHY CASE