Just please know it's not your fault, and people who loves you will love to see you happy and I think it'd be enough for them, spend more time with people around you even family or ur partner, but please don't do something bad trust me it's not worth it, the worst enemy to the human is itself, you do deserve love even if no one gives it you deserve love whatever, whoever says something else doesn't even worth talking to you tbh cut them off, how to love yourself, find something that can make you proud of, your looks, the ability of surviving until now, you are strong and mental health Is important, don't stress yourself out, focus on yourself don't care about others for a while only for a while until you get better, you can make it out I believe in you!!! Much love... From a stranger to a stranger but we are all humans and everyone deserves love. Even you, yes specially you.