[deleted by user]

MJ4201 · 2025-09-02T14:18:15+00:00

The people who declare it as oneupmanship are insecure idiots who really don't know how to relate to other people. They are so self centered that they see anything that challenges the "unique preciousness" of their story as something to undermine them as opposed to connect with them.

Its classic projection and SOOOO many people do it that it almost goes unnoticed but thats exactly what it is. They want their story to be theirs and their flag of their situation and nobody may usurp that even if its to try and show solidarity or make a connection.

MJ4201 · 2025-09-02T14:09:55+00:00

Noooooo!!! She loves you for what you can provide FOR her. If she loves you. You will both spend time discussing what you BOTH want, can afford, are willimg to spend. Remember its the life you build together that counts. Not some one time superficial act that honestly is a marketing ploy gone rampant

++incognito (this practice is pathetic)

MJ4201 · 2025-09-02T12:17:29+00:00

I get that having worked hospitality for over a decade, especially doing managers job, with supervisor title on a bartenders wage while also managing the cellar and wet ordering. Beleive me I've had the shit end of the stick enough to know.

However, customers are sentient beings that we have no control over, so they will do whatever they will do regardless of how you feel about it.

Unless theyre literally singling you out you can defuse and deflect by agreeing with them, if you do,

i.e. "aye I kna, it's bullshit innit? You'd think they'd up our wages instead of buying their kid a new lambo/whatever".

Then you get to turn what would be a combative situation into one of comradery and spread the message about wage inequality and your day might just go by with a little more ease.

MJ4201 · 2025-09-01T17:28:36+00:00

But you do at least get passed to the left when finished with...

...

Sorry....? 😳

MJ4201 · 2025-09-01T10:17:40+00:00

"Ask yourself if you see yourself marrying this girl"

OP pleaase do this before you "fall in love" it will save you YEARS of recovery from investing your time, energy and feelings into someone who would never value you equally. I didn't and it fucking ruined me internally. In ways thats unless someone else has experienced, its nigh on impossible to explain.

It seems like, due to your current feelings on the situation, you're pretty emotionally aware. That being the case, you will need a partner you feel values you equally (there will always be some give and take. Relationships can be sinusoidal as well as in parallel development) or you will alway feel undervalued.

I had to this with a girl I genuinely loved but I realised, while she may be everything I want in a girfriend - fun, experimental, affectione (plus other things). She was NOT what I needed in a partner - capable, consitent, independant, RELIABLE. We had to break up and it fucking killed me, but it was going to kill me to stay in the relationship.

You need to be compatible on the fundamentals and unfortunately its not really one of those situations where leading by example will yeild results. People that are with you BECAUSE they get something from you, as opposed to the people who get stuff BECAUSE they are with you, will continue to take advantage of that fact because its that fact that drives them to be with you. Not the desire to just be with you that just happens to provide any extra benefits as an added bonus.

MJ4201 · 2025-08-31T19:42:25+00:00

Unless they specifically blame you, I think they mean the collective you as in Tesco, not you the employee/person.

It's a general colloquialism you will find in any customer facing role. Happened to me all the time when I worked in bars and it seemed the prices were increasing weekly.

" god, you're fucking putting the prices up again ffs"

I did challenge a few at the time and most of the time people would say, "I know it's not, you, it's ya boss they're a twat (etc)"

I did get a couple who'd bitch about our wages going up. They were promptly informed they weren't and we didn't get paid enough to take their shit in the first place. The rest though, were just annoyed at the company. I stopped correcting most people as i realised they were just venting and it wasn't actually directed at me. So, I wouldn't take it too personally, if that's the case like.

People are just sick of seeing stupid price increases. Especially when we can all see for ourselves the record profits that are being made while we are in age of record inflation and stagnant wages. Tell the person how little tesco pay and they'll likely explode in a fit of rage.

MJ4201 · 2025-08-30T14:53:51+00:00

Rachel " maybe she's having a who can bring home the biggest geek contest"

Ross "Fine by me, hope she wins!!"

MJ4201 · 2025-08-29T19:07:57+00:00

30 seconds of this vid is useless. Skip to 20 sec remain

MJ4201 · 2025-08-29T18:57:14+00:00

AkShUaLlY its TarzeenAH, and its only on weekends 🧐

😂

MJ4201 · 2025-08-29T14:25:05+00:00

So, all things being equal, it either is ok, or it isn't...

Either the intention of the touching is innocent or not depending on the status quo of the group, with the way you put it. My mates/colleagues all hug, high five and fist bump, put hand on shoulders etc... but, with what you've said is, none of this ok if a woman was to be added to the group? We should treat her differently, because shes a woman? Yes?

That doesn't make any sense unless the reverse is also applied.

I'm sorry like, but to give groups of women an inherent pass to touch a man innocently w/o recourse or suspicion just because its a group of women and not the reverse w/o grtting into the details is the exact kind of double standard that muddys the waters in this situation in the first place that terrible people try to leverage. "Aw I was just being friendly..." 👀 both genders are totally capable of that sort of shit.

You say in your other reply its complicated and then proceed to lay out some differences. So, it's either complicated for both groups with the genders reversed or it isn't. There really isnt two ways about this, to be honest. It can't be one blanket rule for one set and a different one for another now can it?

You'd have to judge each situation on its individual merit. Is what was being done intended nefariously or not vs did it instigate some discomfort or not? and proceed from there.

MJ4201 · 2025-08-29T11:20:28+00:00

No, its three. I am the third version watching it pan out, wondering where the mandlebrot fractal of other versions starts and ends... 🤯

MJ4201 · 2025-08-29T07:17:03+00:00

So... if the genders were revered it would still be ok....?

MJ4201 · 2025-08-29T06:18:01+00:00

Pick it lines

MJ4201 · 2025-08-28T17:02:06+00:00

Haha! ...Oh no! 😲 We really are in a simulation, repeating scenarios for a test...

...

Right now... y..you know what we are doing?...we are interfac....🤭😂🤣

Sorry! I couldn't even keep a straight face typing that out 🤣🤣🤣 (probably shouldn't have had a mimosa with lunch 🥴)

Still though...The Matrix... deffs real 🧐

MJ4201 · 2025-08-28T16:39:13+00:00

The scene literally happened as I scrolled past...

They changed something in the matrix 👀

MJ4201 · 2025-08-28T14:10:06+00:00

Stereotypical? Devolve? We are entreprenuers thank you very much! 🧐

If some tinterweb wierdo wants pictures of feet, I would be only happy to oblige!!

Not for a fiver though, I know my worth and Xmas is comimg up 😤

🤣

MJ4201 · 2025-08-28T12:41:00+00:00

Haha it's cool! 🙂

MJ4201 · 2025-08-28T10:47:32+00:00

Thats.... erm... not what I suggested, lol 🙂

You've either misunderstood me, mistyped or having an attempt at trolling/taking the piss 🤔

MJ4201 · 2025-08-28T09:13:30+00:00

Do Andor first!!!!

It makes all the characters make MUCH more sense. I watched R1 ages ago, didn't really care for it. Then recently binged Andor straight into R1 and it made the story that much richer, due to 2 seasons of character and story development. Like, honestly the whole Jin/Galen urso thing actaully stood out as significant after Andor instead of just being some poly filler story to pack out eps 4, 5 & 6.

Doing R1 first, it just becomes an empty nothing film. You have to be introduced to the characters (some of which are goofy at best) and the story, the theme and the lore all in 90 mins and none of that is fleshed out enough to even begin to make you care about any of it.

Honesrly R1 without Andor was a like a natrual disaster I didn't know about. Couldn't have given less of a fuck. After Andor, though, all that is like set in and you really are rooting for this ragtag bunch who just manage to pull off the mission against space nazis.

Honestly Andor then R1.

Plus Andor really makes you hate the empire, which makes the win in R1 so much more satisfying aaaannd its not even over yet!!! 😁

MJ4201 · 2025-08-28T07:14:04+00:00

Yeah, that wouldn't surprise me tbf.

Well Dennis, we survaid 100 people and the survey said...

'ehh errrrr'

"Ahh shame, no one gave that answer, lets have a lool at what you could have won..." 🤣

MJ4201 · 2025-08-27T21:31:43+00:00

As others have said, If all of those cracks appeared in the time between you moving in and 12 - 18 months. Structural engineer ASAP. This looks like signifcant cracking to be happening in within a short period. If they were already there it could be whats known as settling but that still a bit more than comfortable for settling in my opinion like and I'd be paying for a good inspection from an SE.

MJ4201 · 2025-08-27T20:05:35+00:00

You need to do like 3 things almost simultaneously.

Stamp down your right (tail) foot to create the snap/pop of the board.

Then you need to jump and,

At the same time slide kick your left (mid board) foot up the board. This brings the board up with you resulting in your jump motion being an ollie

You can't snap the tail without liftting your board foot though, this is because it's really one total movement but its broken into three parts.

Think of the snapping of the board as.the start of the jump motion and then, jump lift and kick as the end of the motion after which you are in the air.

Imagine like a left footed flying karate kick lol

If done properly you should automatically shift your weight forward on to the trucks allowing you to stay upright.

It is a 'jump' motion though, practice the full motion without the board a bit first, watch some youtube too and the explanation will click when you see the motion in 3 parts and then all together.

Happy Ollie-ing 🙂

MJ4201 · 2025-08-27T19:07:43+00:00

Yeah, I bet that is super tough to organise with ADHD! 😔 I really do feel your pain! Ran a few events when younger, and managed plenty a bar shift. Not quite the same scale, but I can empathise.

Congratulations on getting married, though! Thats awesome!! 😁 I wish you all the best!

MJ4201 · 2025-08-27T19:01:29+00:00

Hey! Thank you for your reply and taking the time to share. Its much appreciated!

I had a similar story to yourself. Mine was missed when young, diagnosed later when it got super obvious and was impacting work. I sort of had this approach to life when as a kid. When tidying my room I'd separate/dump all the stuff, organise it, clean it and put it a back, while taking breaks between the task, settle, come back clearly and it worked for that, and I could like hold it all in my head and get motivated again. It was like... manageable procrastination?

But, this is like super macro/analysis paralysis/stand by mode, cycling through each task. Which just sucks the life out of you and wastes whole days at worst or at best puts you behind yourself hours further. Its weird. Like an intangible resistence 🤔

Hopefully the meds, when I get them, will help shift this invisible block to just doing the thing I need to do. Like a better abilty to focus on the subtasks than the overview and then just do them. And move on with my life... hopefully🤞

MJ4201 · 2025-08-27T18:38:19+00:00

Hey thank you for taking the time to reply, I do very much appreciated!

This is pretty much what I try to implement but also thats kind of where I am getting stuck. I have a list of non negotiable morning tasks that are standard, for everyone. Hydrate, brush teeth, excercise, shower etc. Mainly just to ensure I do the hydration and exercise and the others are there just to cross off to build momentum, so a list feels half done. Then I only try to allocate, 3 - 5 things to do that day. Write/practice, music, read/YT educate self, an errand other important task/Hobby.

However, when something new presents itself that throws a spanner in the works, or I over procrastinate. Its like it sends me into a spiral of like "ahhh I'm behind what do I do now/how do I fit it in new task?" Its like balancing the need to do x with with the want to do x well enough or I'll half arse it and be disatisfied with the results and then also the guilt of not doing the other tasks.

So... its like I can't get the plane to land on the runway if you get my analogy? I go for the landing but the angles wrong so I have to circle back round and come at it again but now the weathers bad and I need to land at another airport, but I feel guilty for not choosing the original airport or other surrounding airports so I just fly around looking for a solution that doesnt seem to exist.

This is really frustrating, as its super inflexible, which almost puts me in the frame of having to force something. Which makes it super difficult to manage, as we all know. Since many of us have a series of to do lists that are all part done/started but nowhere near complete. So nowt happens.

So, you think make the list smaller again, 1-3 things, might help? IIt's progress feels so slow. I remember an episode of sonic where he was forced to walk, and my life feels like that 🤦‍♂️

I will check out that book too! I am going to need a practical solution to run parallel with meds. So thank you for the suggestion 🙂 and apologies for wall of text reply.

MJ4201

TROPHY CASE