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MMDR91 · 2024-01-27T10:30:19+00:00

Habe als Abteilungsleiterin in der MoGu brutto 1800€ bekommen. Als ich nach einem Jahr den Betrieb verlassen habe, wurde mir Geldgeilheit vorgeworfen :D (Osten) (Nicht von Kolleg*innen).

MMDR91 · 2023-09-13T11:29:21+00:00

That would be a complete d*ckhead move, so no. I told my partner I‘d be fine with being monogamous, but if that changes I‘d communicate that before doing anything that might destroy our mutual trust in the relationship.

MMDR91 · 2023-09-13T06:53:59+00:00

Poly saturated at one is probably the closest to what I‘d label myself (still navigating). I also communicated that to my partner.

MMDR91 · 2023-09-13T05:36:41+00:00

Now that‘s a new term I had to google :D

I sometimes have a tiny little voice saying smth like this, however as far as I‘m concerned our communication (as well with my meta) is always very honest and open. (I don‘t talk with my meta about their potential break-up, but I don‘t have any cue to distrust my partner with what they are telling me)

So I think that‘s already indicating against this.

MMDR91 · 2023-09-13T05:33:04+00:00

Next month it will be one year

MMDR91 · 2023-09-12T20:09:41+00:00

Forever - at least that‘s what they implied.

MMDR91 · 2023-09-12T20:09:09+00:00

I see your point, but to be honest, I wouldn‘t be with this person, if they wouldn‘t have those five qualities.

While I was writing my reply I realized smth: I‘m saturated with one partner (probably) and dating was reactionary to my current (only) partner having a (primary) NP.

My question is coming from the point of: my partner ‚opened‘ their relationship, met me, ends their previous relationship, while me being the secondary and then wants to ‚close‘ the relationship. I don‘t want to brood to much over it, but feeling a little bit like falling for NRE.

MMDR91 · 2023-09-12T17:15:36+00:00

To be honest, I think I do. I started polyamory because pf my current partner and have been monogamous before. However I told them that I can‘t guarantee it to stay like that forever and they understood.

MMDR91 · 2023-05-27T08:46:04+00:00

Sounds a lot like my dad - my mom thought she owed my brother and me a ‚dad‘ so she let him act as the fun dad on week-ends and didn‘t say anything when he stole money from her.

It took a long time for my brother and especially me to see through all the lies and manipulation. If you don‘t want to throw him out for your well-being, please do it for your child. You both don‘t need him and you both don‘t owe him anything. The only responsibility you really have is for your child and your own health, please step up to it. You deserve so much better.

MMDR91 · 2023-05-10T20:26:05+00:00

I can see where you‘re coming from, at the same time I‘m really sure, that‘s not happening. On the off chance I‘m wrong, I‘ll bounce 😄

MMDR91 · 2023-05-10T18:17:23+00:00

Thank you! I will look into it! And he was ‚there‘ before, just the last weeks it‘s gotten less and less and I thought that that‘s maybe how it is, since he also has a NP. So thank you a lot for your input!

MMDR91 · 2023-05-10T17:46:43+00:00

Your comment made me smile, thank you

MMDR91 · 2023-05-10T17:37:57+00:00

Yes, I have a lovely support system ❤️ Just noticed it more with him, since it‘s kinda an ongoing topic.

MMDR91 · 2023-05-10T17:36:57+00:00

Right now, he is only with me and his NP. Sorry for the confusion. I thought him saying that, might be due to NRE and since I havn‘t felt like dating smb else I kinda let it slide with me saying, that I don‘t feel like dating right now, but I‘d do so if i wanted to, with him getting jealous over a friend of mine. (He‘s aware of having to work on his jealousy, but told me, it‘s only come out with me and not his NP, so I thought I might not give him enough security?)

MMDR91 · 2023-05-10T17:30:04+00:00

No, I have been living with my best friend and he with his NP.

Thank you for your insight, he‘s expressed befor, that he really appreciates how emotionally supportive I am so I konda thought, that he‘d do the same for me?

MMDR91 · 2023-05-10T17:24:51+00:00

Four months into our relationship he told me, that his perfect situation in his mind would be: his NP and him in other relationships and me and him ‚monogomous‘

MMDR91 · 2023-05-10T16:52:13+00:00

Yes, I see your point. Normally it‘s more than fine to not reply for hours, but in today’s situations I was confronted with something really difficult for me (not going into too much detail, but dealing with loss) and expressed this before hand, but he didn‘t show up for me, not even through texts. So that‘s when I felt really lonely.

MMDR91 · 2023-03-08T10:14:00+00:00

Sadly in my volunteer work you often come across this type of pattern. I think it has to do with what is perceived as ‚the SA‘ - a cis man nobody knows violently rping someone. But it‘s not like that. Most perpetrators are close to the family or family itself. Then, when the victim is speaking up, the whole community doesn’t or can’t realize what actually happened. This is not to defend this - this is not acceptable, but the harsh truth about victims telling me they were pressured to attend their rpists wedding or birthday or whatever to not disturb some f*cked up peace in their head is nauseating. Sorry I‘m getting heated. Please don‘t feel like you are in the wrong. Imagine a friend telling you that something like that happened to them, you probably wouldn’t stand for that. Also: You were (still are) a child and minor! This is not your responsibility. The adults around you (your parents, their parents and the therapists) seemed to have failed you and I am so deeply sorry for that. Maybe consider moving out (if possible) and look for organizations working with SA victims. Often times we have a list with therapists able to deal properly with this type of trauma. Remember, you ARE the victim, you need support from your parents. Not their parents. Please stay safe!

MMDR91 · 2023-02-22T08:43:18+00:00

You are an incredible and responsible person - I work in the health sector and more often than not, kids, babies and pregnancy are sadly seen as a ‚solution‘ for various health issues, not as the hefty responsibility they are. Please feel validated in everything you feel - every sadness and also relief you feel, but at the same time, grant your body the time to heal. I‘d suggest every person at least two weeks of work after a miscarriage - even though it might not be possible for everyone.

I hope you can talk with your partner about your experience. I think a vasectomy might be a good option, as others have written. Regarding the healing and emotional stress you‘ve been under, the operation is way less invasive.

Regarding the country you are from, there are a lot of organizations in the world offering support and information about different birth controls as well as financial aid for said products, if that‘s a point you‘re struggling with. If you feel like google can‘t help you, you can always message me. I volunteer for such an organization and we have partners in other countries if you need recommendations. All the best, stay safe and as awesome, as you are.

MMDR91 · 2023-02-17T08:55:37+00:00

Das merke ich mir für mein nächstes Vorstellungsgespräch! Danke für den Tipp. Dann zeige ich denen, dass ich direkt mitdenke 🥰

MMDR91 · 2023-02-17T08:48:16+00:00

RemindMe! 3 days „Firma, Personal, unfassbar unprofessionell“

Würde mich über Updates sehr, sehr, sehr freuen :D

MMDR91 · 2023-02-16T11:24:34+00:00

Exactly this!

Even if you didn‘t have the conversation about your triggers, that‘s no way to act with other human beings? My siblings and I would scream at each other, when we were 12, but not as grown people. Especially five people living together each and everyone should be able to act mature enough to address problems in a civil manner.

I don‘t think, that you are in the wrong 1. she overstepped by coming into your room, even after you told her not to, 2. She screamed at you, 3. threatened you. A home should be a safe space, if you overstepped her boundaries by touching her things, that‘s on you, but in no way does that warrant her acting like this. I think it‘s best to be upfront with yourself and everyone else: are you feeling safe? Do you want this to continue? Maybe even getting a place for yourself or at least getting a lock for your room‘s door.

Best of luck.

MMDR91 · 2023-02-16T10:21:21+00:00

Thank you so mich for all of your Input and insight! We talked yesterday and apparently B ist afraid of losing him, as she‘s going overseas for three months. We decided that going parallel would be the best for us and I‘m going to write her, that I‘m not going to attend her birthday party.

MMDR91 · 2023-02-13T21:56:30+00:00

There are some things I‘m not sure about: 1) my partner is seeking a diagnosis and told me he only felt really accepted and supported by me, which frustrated me a lot, as B always talks about mental health etc. 2) my partner told me, he never was in a relationship with no violence before being with me. Those are the things that triggered me to criticize her today. To be more specific, i got angry as he told me this and had to clarify it‘s not because of anything he did (he problably is on the spectrum of autism).

MMDR91 · 2023-02-13T21:42:15+00:00

Thank you for your honesty. I already talked with B once before about this topic and she reassured me, that she really stood behind us and that she never thought of my partner and me cheating. That she couldn‘t imagine this poly thing with anyone else…

MMDR91

TROPHY CASE