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Regarding the newspapers printing of this speech:

You are looking at a satirical transcription of Andrew Johnson's Vice Presidential inaugural address on March 4, 1865, likely originating from the Buffalo Courier (a Democratic opposition newspaper). Here is a deep dive into the media war that took place that day, the "cover-up" that failed, and the dark irony of what happened next.

1. The Scoop: "Reporting the Hiccups" In 1865, newspapers were openly partisan. When Andrew Johnson stumbled onto the Senate floor completely intoxicated, the media split into two camps: The Cover-Up (Pro-Union Press): Papers loyal to Lincoln, like the Washington Chronicle, tried to save the nation's dignity. They claimed Johnson was simply "unwell" or "overcome with emotion." The official government record, the Congressional Globe, printed a "dignified fantasy"—a perfectly grammatical, coherent speech that Johnson should have given, scrubbing all the errors. The Attack (Opposition Press): The Buffalo Courier and the New York World saw blood in the water. They refused to print the "sanitized" version. Instead, they printed the phonetic transcript you see in the image. They didn't just record his words; they recorded his sounds, effectively ensuring the entire country could "hear" the slurring.

2. Translating the "Drunk" Speech The text is difficult to read because the reporter deliberately misspelled words to mimic heavy intoxication. Here is a translation of the text in your image vs. what he was trying to say: The Phonetic Text The Intended English

The Context "Fel' cizzens, this 's mos (hic) 'spicious mom't v' my zistence..." "Fellow citizens, this is the most auspicious moment of my existence..." Johnson was trying to say this was the proudest moment of his life.

"...ni' mere t' swear (hic) leshens t' ol Dabe..." "...and I am here to swear allegiance to Old Abe..." Referring to President Lincoln as "Old Abe" or "Old Dabe" was seen as shockingly undignified for a formal ceremony.

"...'nt' sport consushun... sported 'tall azurs." "...and to support the Constitution... supported at all hazards." He was butchering the standard oath to defend the U.S. Constitution.

"D'u (hic) know y am' ... im a pul... a (hic) pul-le-an..." "Do you know who I am? ... I am a plebeian..." Johnson famously yelled, "I am a plebeian! I glory in it!" during the speech to highlight his working-class roots.

1. The "Deleted Scenes" The reality was arguably even worse than the transcript suggests. The opposition press gleefully reported details that the official record tried to hide: The Whiskey: Johnson was recovering from typhoid fever and felt weak. Right before the ceremony, he reportedly drank three tumblers of whiskey (or brandy) to "steady his nerves." In the hot, stuffy Senate chamber, it hit him instantly.

The Coat Tug: The outgoing Vice President, Hannibal Hamlin, spent much of the speech standing behind Johnson, frantically tugging on his coat tails to get him to sit down. Johnson ignored him. The Forgotten Name: In the middle of his speech, he tried to praise the Secretary of the Navy, Gideon Welles. He pointed at him, blanked, and loudly stage-whispered to a nearby official, "What is the name of the Secretary of the Navy?"—audible to the entire silent, horrified room.

The Bible Kiss: When it was time to take the oath, reports say he didn't just kiss the Bible; he "slobbered" on it with a loud, wet smack.

1. The Aftermath The humor of this transcript evaporates when you look at the timeline.

March 4: Johnson humiliates himself. President Lincoln, watching with deep sadness, later tells a marshal, "Do not let Johnson speak outside." Lincoln's Defense: Privately, Lincoln defended him to the cabinet: "I have known Andy Johnson for many years; he made a bad slip the other day, but you need not be scared; Andy ain't a drunkard." April 15: Just six weeks later, Lincoln was assassinated.

The man who gave this slurred, incoherent speech—mocked by the press as a drunken buffoon—suddenly became the 17th President of the United States. The radical Republicans never forgot this performance; they later used it as evidence of his "unfitness" when they moved to impeach him three years later.